Even though I am on the paxils, and am out of lorazepam for three days now. I feel a lot better. My head seems to be accepting the paxils and most of the side effects are wearing off. I think I am going to continue without the lorazepam as I feel better without them. This is my third relapse and believe me when I say I put up wih a lot of extreme stress and trauma the last three years of bring this on. :crazy-eye

As I said in my other post I have called to get into counselling, and find a good psych, hubby is behaving quite well at the moment he's coming back home and I believe he will go to counselling or at least read some of the info Anthony's site and all you guys great advice. I believe I am over binging without needing therapy for alcohol withdrawls. Hubby and I have agreed to ban all beer for the time being from the farm. I doubt I will ever drink again as it is very gentic in my family and I know I can't drink just one or two and stop anymore, Now now anyway.

I will work on posting my story for you guys. There are many things I need to get out and the private forum seems to be the best place to post it. I don't think it is as horrible as some of the things you people have endured but the results are the same. I have to wait untill Nov 21 to see a counsellor hesitant about seeing my doc untill these paxils are almost out.

Must gather strength to return work Nov 1, talked to human resources today about coming back. They know I have an anxiety disorder now and I have resigned as union steward as I must cope with my own health right now.
At least it's not a hard job. Modified for years of worn out repetative wrists and thoracic outlet. Just really scared to face the people as it s a small town and the rumours have really been flying. Car accident, published in the paper, sons jury trial which they did find one guilty charge. Working in the same place as one of the prosecuting witnesses mothers. Yes still terrified and mind circles.

Sorry I am rambling all over the place, I really must write my full story for you guys to truly understand. Anyway thankyou again for all of your opinions, and helpfull advice.:crazy-blu

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