Rough Couple of Days

[Marlene]

I've been feeling pretty good for the last week and in the space it took me to drive 9 miles home from work last night that all went down the crapper. By the time I got home, all I wanted to do was just crawl into bed and be left alone. I didn't even want to speak to anyone. Still really don't. Which is a real bitch since I'm on the phone most of the day at work. I don't know if it pisses off or freaks out my husband, but when I tell him I don't want to talk, he wants to know why. When I say because I just don't feel like it, he just pushes and tries to get me talking until one or both of us is pissed off. My mom says it scares him when I go inside myself (which I can do very easily when I feel like this). Why he would get scared...I have no idea.

Monday afternoon my oldest daughter had the day off (a rarity) and decided to go to the beach. About 3pm I thought about her and then out of the blue, my anxiety went sky high, I got sick to my stomach, sweaty palms, shaking (everything I used to do when I was worried that she might kill herself). I called her cell phone on the pretense of seeing how the beach was. Once I heard her voice I was fine. I haven't felt these things in well over a year and had hoped to never feel again.

[Nam]

sorry Marlene that this is happening. But from what you said here, we all understand it. Especially the going inside myself. I'm one of those people that when I don't feel right, sad, mad, tired, anything off, I want to be left alone. My hub, on the other hand, wants to be cuddled, coddled and fussed over when he is blue. Totally opposite.

If Anthony was feeling good, he would say that your hub is just trying to fix something that he can't. It frustrates him.

And worrying about your daughter is such a "normal" thing to do! With some ptsd anxiety in there, it can get pretty intense. I think what you did was fine. You called her and eased your fears.

Marlene, you may not believe me, but you're doing awesome. You're working, you're a wife, you're a mother, and you have ptsd. Trust me, You're doing GREAT.

[kimG]

Marlene,

I, too, have periods of time when I just want to be alone. My husband is great about it and lets me do it because he knows it is something I need.

Is it possible to get your husband on this forum to read in the Spouses section? Perhaps he would understand more of what you go through and also have some support for the feelings he gets. Just a thought.

[Marlene]

Nam, when I read what you wrote about me doing great, I wanted to turn around and see who was behind me you were talking to! LOL But thanks for saying it. Maybe if I hear it/see it enough, I'll actually start to believe it.

I actually have this fantasy of the two doctors that diagnosed me both calling me and telling me that they were sorry, they had made a mistake, no PTSD and here's your life back. LOL I told my husband and he laughed and said nice fantasy. Well...it's mine and I'll keep it if I want. :tongue:

Kim, there's only one phrase that would answer the question of my husband getting on this board even to read-Not Bloody Likely! I'd love it if he did, but I know him and it's just not going to happen.

He's also very supportive of me, but it seems like if I've been doing good and then I have a bad day that he needs some time to readjust to it. Again with the frustrations. Damn...I wish this just affected me and left my family alone. :mad:

[batgirl]

I think you're doing great too Marlene... you have a job and a family. That's more than what I have right now, I hate being around people for more than a couple of hours at a time, and I really would like a job... I admire anyone who's able to keep one!! I also understand about wanting to be alone when upset. I am exactly the same way, and it pisses me off if people try to interfere. Anyways, I hope you feel better again soon. You said you hadn't felt these things in over a year... is this an anniversary time? Anniversaries of events really get to me.

[Marlene]

is this an anniversary time? Anniversaries of events really get to me.

I read that and thought, 'No, the problems with her started in November.' Then (d'uh!!!) I looked at my calendar and realized it is November. Never would have crossed my mind otherwise. Well, that explains it. Thanks :-)

[veiled]

Ditto on what Nam said. Can't really add. You have to tell hubs sometimes space is the best support when you need it. But those damn guys, gotta fix fix...

Batgirl, good call!

[Marlene]

Well, I thought that the first part of this week of this week was rough...D'oh! Nothing like tempting the fates. At about 11:30 this morning I get a call from my husband as he's being loaded into the back of an ambulance and being taken to a burn center at a local hospital. He works on pumps (repairing them) and was working on one at a business that sells caustic chemicals. The people at the company told him they had released the pressure from the lines (they hadn't) and when he opened the pump, the caustic chemcicals sprayed out onto him. Fortunately he's quick and jumped back but not before he was soaked from the knees down. Now he has second and third degree chemicals burns on his legs and feet. He's spending the night in the burn unit and tomorrow we'll find out more when the doctor comes back in. All I know now is that the doctor wants to do a surgical debridement of the worst two burns.

I held it together somewhat (somewhat being a relative term!) ok while sitting in the E/R with him and when they got him into his room. But by the time I got to my car I was begining to hyperventalate and cry. I almost couldn't drive home. Now I'm trying to untie all of the knots my mind and body have tied themselves into. I don't see much sleep tonight.

[kimG]

Marlene,

Did they take him to a hospital with a burn unit? If you can get him to one, do it (not that the regular hospitals can't, but they're not called "burn units" for nothing).

Sorry to hear about your husband. I can only imagine what I would feel like if mine got hurt or if I got "that" phone call.

Hang in there. Let us know if we can do anything. We're here for you!

[Marlene]

Marlene, Did they take him to a hospital with a burn unit?

Yeah, it's the biggest hospital in town and they're known for their burn unit.

Hang in there. Let us know if we can do anything. We're here for you!

Thanks. He's been hurt at work before, but nothing like this! The damn woman from the insurance company (workers comp) tracked me down in the E/R and spent about 30 minutes asking me the same questions over and over. Does the phrase 'timing is everything' mean anything to these people? :wall:

[kimG]

Does the phrase 'timing is everything' mean anything to these people? :wall:

No, 'cause they're all idiots...that's why they are in the insurance business....(sorry if I offend anyone...NOT!)

:rofl:

[Marlene]

Thanks for the laugh...I needed it!!! One of the questions she asked me was if my husband had any hobbies? Why they would need that for a workers comp. claim...:dontknow: . The first thing that came to mind was 'Well his new one is avoiding chemical burns'. Dumb broad!!!

[Boo-Damphir]

Hi again Marlene! Have you or your husband contacted a private attorney yet? I went through the work comp system after my assault and was successful in winning a settlement against the hospital (my employer) but holy cow... the work comp system is wicked! Your husband has many more rights than they will ever tell him about. If you need anything, give me a shout. No one should ever face work comp alone ( :finger: )!

[Marlene]

Thanks, Boo! I'll definately keep that in mind. I've never dealt with the workers comp. systems before. I'll keep my fingers crossed that everything goes ok. Besides, going psycho-bitch on some idiot takes so much out of a person. *grin*

Well, he's home now. Good news-he's not in too much pain. Bad news-it's because the nerves were damaged on the third degree burns. We have to go to the out-patient burn clinic next week for an evaluation. The doctor wants to do skin grafts. He says it will make the healing go much quicker. The downside of that is that my hubby will be in the hospital for five days with his leg imobilized after the surgery. It's my darling husband's decision to make. My job is to stand by my man and remember to breath!! LOL :crazy-eye

[Boo-Damphir]

You guys are very lucky to have eachother! Please keep me posted on his progress.
Hugs,
Boo

[batgirl]

OMG I'm so sorry to hear about your husband, Marlene! Worker's comp is pretty brutal where I live (outside of the US), so I don't know what it's like there. But keep fighting until you get what your husband deserves, and take care of yourself!

[JoannaG]

Isn't it amazing how we have such a hard time figuring out our own trauma's and PTSD yet when someone we love is injured or hurt in any way we can focus all our attention to them and put our minds away from ourselves and fight furiously if need be for them. :boxing:

So sorry to here of yur husbands injuries, my hubby is in maintenace too and I do worry about him so they work around dangerous chemicals and situations so often.

Keep strong in your heart and we are here for you anytime. Don't let up on comp either. I don't know about Florida but here in Canada they will use anything to try to deny your claim. Is your husband Union and if so contact his union rep right away and tell him the situation.

Take care
Joannag

[Marlene]

Joanna,

He's not union, but he does work for a good company. I spent a lot of time on the phone between family (home phone) and his co-workers and bosses (his cell phone) last night. We've already been told that he'll be paid for the first week he's out (worker's comp doesn't kick in pay until the second week) by his company.

This morning about ten minutes after I got to the hospital, a nurse from the insurance company showed up to see 'how he was doing'. I guess she was confirming that he was really burned. Nah...he just decided he wanted to spend the night in a burn ward for shits and giggles. :cussing: I know some people will try and cheat the system, but to be treated like we're trying to do that outright is just pissing me off.

I also know what you mean about the sudden shift of your focus when someone you love is hurt. I'm just trying to keep myself focused on the day we're in and not think (too much) about what's coming up. Nope...don't want to do that!!!!!! LOL

BTW-thanks for all the support and good wishes. They're tremendously appreciated.:smile: