Back in Control Somewhat, But Feeling Stressed Tonight

[Eagle3]

That last bout took me completely by surprise. When I joined this board I was just coming off a bad nightmare, and symptoms had taken over during the day. I talked w/ the school counselor (who truly sucked at this), which gave me the ability to analyze things on my own, and I was able to figure out what exactly triggered this particular bout. Turns out, life had unexpectedly become like it was during my time of Hell, and I was not prepared for it. The stress was just too much and completely blew every ounce of control I had out the window. Thanks to different avenues of assistance and personal coping tricks, I was able to wrest control back in time to prepare for and win a karate tournament. That bout of uncontrollable symptoms lasted a whole three weeks, and was the worst I've had in a year and a half. Just one too many triggers all at once I s'pose. The very next day after the tournament, though, I came down w/ the worst case of bronchitis I've ever had...almost went to pneumonia. Gosh, I hate stress.

Anyhow, control is back for the most part; at least, I'm not having panic attacks at school any more. But tonight I'm feeling very alone and don't want to go out of the house. The problem is, I'm stressing over some deadlines coming up, and eating everything I can get my hands on to cope. Not the healthiest thing to do, and I'm trying to keep it to veggies, but I'm really having trouble with these looming deadlines. Mostly, I just want to talk to someone in realtime who knows what goes on in my head. My mom just doesn't get it, and its very irritating trying to get her to get it.

[goingonhope]

Thanks to different avenues of assistance and personal coping tricks, I was able to wrest control back in time to prepare for and win a karate tournament.
Awesome Eagle3 and Congratulations!

[Eagle3]

Thanks Hope!

Yeah, there is something about that sparring ring...in it nothing else exists and i can live in the moment.

[goingonhope]

You know Eagle 3 I've thought of enrolling myself in karate in the last 6 mo. Financially, it's not feasible right now. This is my son's 2nd yr. in karate, he's close to 7 now. He's young. Hoping to keep him enrolled year after year. My daughter likes karate too and I know she would do well, but won't enroll her unless I'm ready to pay year after year. And, now tonight, I'm feeling again inspired, but unless I come into some money soon, highly, highly unlikely, I guess I won't be signing up. Well anyhow, keep sparring, it certainly sounds Rewarding...............,:wink: Nothing else exists.......:cool: Live in the moment. Wow! :smile: Sounds Great!

[Eagle3]

Hope...

Look into some community centers and see if they offer lessons there. Out here my classes are free, we just have to buy gear and pay tourney fees.

Yeah, Sparring is the one thing that consistently keeps me in control of my symptoms. I think Martial Arts will be a life-long pursuit out of necessity. Maybe I can write it off as a medical expense? (j/k)

[Marlene]

Eagle3,

Congrats on winning the tournament. I took karate for two years and really enjoyed it and know how tough the tournaments are. I do yoga and take fencing lessons for the 'nothing else exists, living in the moment' feeling, too. And the feeling of being in control is great!

I've had it put very plainly to me that no one who doesn't have PTSD is going 'to get it'. And trying to get your mom to get it is going to do nothing but have both of you feeling like you're beating your heads against a wall. Trust me...I went through this with my husband. It was actually a relief to me to know that it wasn't that he wasn't trying hard enough to understand...he just couldn't because he didn't have PTSD.

I was talking to a very dear friend on the phone tonight. She has been someone who has helped me tremendously through some really tough stuff, she is very wise and patient. But she has a blind spot when it comes to PTSD. She believes that it's over-diagnosed (and maybe it can be) and has said some things that have hurt me. I know it's not intentional...hurts just the same. But since I realized that she's not going to 'get it', I work very hard at ignoring the things she says that hurt and concentrate on the things that can help me. It's easier said than done...like a lot of things connected with PTSD. But I know she loves me and I love her and she's supporting me. Sometimes that's as good as it gets.

[anthony]

Eagle, congrats on the tournament. I have a first brown in Karate from when I was a little tacker. About 12 I think I did that. I graded for my first dan, and got provisional black at the time, but I just never went back as I had gotten into other interests... like motorbikes.