Do You See an End to the Symptoms in Your Life?

[anthony]

This poll was originally from Pita's questions (http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread274.html) in regard to her research. Please take the time to answer this as correctly as possible for PTSD research.

[piglet]

Sadly no. As much as I would like to believe in a cure, I don't think I will ever life a full life without triggering symtpoms. I think it can be better though, so it is worth trying for.

[carpediem2006]

I have to say yes, otherwise I think I would prefer a curtain call :smile: . I have dealt with everything else so now I must deal with this. Then my life can move on again.

I know think I have had intermittent PTSD relating to psychological abuse/threats of violence.

Following assault/shooting/others they are present again.

I think anger management/forgiveness and moving from one chapter of your life to the next are important. It is possible to have good relationships again, trust has to be rebuilt, and in rebuilding that trust you need to understand why it is gone in the first place.

I disagree with calling it a mental disorder (as I don't want one thanks
:-) ) and also becuase I do not think it only affects select individuals. I think it can affect anyone with the 'correct' amount or level of stressors. It does need more time and a lot of personal work to be dealt with effectively, and that part has to come from me.

[YoungAndAngry]

At this point...
honestly I don't see an end to the symptoms,
although I love to hope that there will be

[purdyamos]

I don't think I can ever fully recover from the complex and long-running events of my growing up. There are too many wounds that need constant re-plugging and too much scar tissue that keeps getting ripped open at each new stage of life. I used to think I could sail away from my past, that time healed. Now I realise that at every stage of life I get re-traumatised by the abnormal, distorted person I am at all the usual landmarks in life. It seems to snowball as the years go by and I continue to fail to enjoy healthy fulfillment in any section of a usual life story. It just feeds on itself and I can't seem to grow out of it.

[nml]

I know God has brought me this far, he didnt do it to drop me on my head.....I believe He wants me to live a happy and full life. The PTSD will teach me to care about me more and grow spiritually as I do not want to live life like it has been.

[Lisa]

Unfortunately I think I am starting to believe I will never be ok, or better. But that is possibly my state of mind right now talking....

[Marlene]

This being a chronic condition, the symptoms may recede, but if the stressors are present (or not dealt with) the symptoms come back.

I'd love to say yes, but being told my brain has been permenantly altered does not lead me to believe that it can be un-altered.

But I've come to the realization that I can still have a full, happy life-I've just got to adjust the way that I live it. That I can do.

[batgirl]

Unfortunately I think I am starting to believe I will never be ok, or better. But that is possibly my state of mind right now talking....

Well you won't be who you were before the trauma, but I know you can get better and manage your PTSD, if you work hard enough on yourself. At least I'm hoping that's true!

[Loathe]

I can't see it.

I've worked maybe 15 days total this year, fight constantly with my wife and friends and, nm.

[Thornbird]

No...I do not see and end to the symptoms. I have tried the counselling they offer were I live. I am hidden away in a room in the back and my treatment is listen to my cousellor read from a book about anxiety. If that is the only treatment I can get, I am better off without it. I was made to feel like a freak at my counselling sessions. Like I had some disease they didn't want others to know about. If that's the treatment for PTSD, then I will be like this forever.
Finding this site, is like my last hope.

[kers]

I think the PTSD will always be with me, but hopefully in a weakened form.

I have great hope that eventually I will sleep through the night, that I will stop having flashbacks, that I will stop the related self-harm. I want to hope that I will eventually become a generally less anxious person.

But the hypervigilance and startling are so ingrained in me, I don't think they'll ever be gone. They spent too many years being programmed.

[slhlilbit]

i have little hope that ptsd will end. i am learning how to deal with it, but i know this is part of me for ever.

[nie]

I currently feel very overwhelmed and do not see an end to the symptoms in my life. However, I do hope that with continued therapy I will find at least some relief.

[EmeraldRiver]

I see this is an old thread, but I'll add my 2 cents anyway. No...I don't believe there will ever be a time when I'm completely unafraid. But I sure hope to high heaven I'll be less jumpy some time soon. So, I'm going to get better someday, but 'cured'? I doubt it. Maybe in 20 years or so if they invent a cure...but who wants to spend 20 years waiting?

[nobody]

I have to believe I can overcome this. If only by sheer willpower, I WILL ******* SURVIVE!!!

[goingonhope]

Yes, I do see an end to PTSD symptoms in my life. Though this end to my PTSD symptoms is yet to arrive, I must say not only do I believe that there is an end to them, I can also imagine and therefore see its end. I believe that there is available, a greatly enriched life after trauma and that with it, I will experience many manageable deep feelings, continuing grace and many joys and passions yet to come.

Hope

[Seeking_Nirvana]

I'm told there is no cure, but I don't believe it.

Tammy

[resurrection]

No I dont think so but hopefully,I can make some positive impact in life rather than just wasting away. Maybe we should start a PTSD awareness revolution.

[nor]

Seeing my older sister battle her daily demons (and she too suffered the same childhood abuse as I), I voted that I don't see any end in sight.

I keep asking my doctor if I will ever get better, and be cured. He basically tells me that I will learn to live with my past, and should be content with that life. I don't see it happening any too soon.

nor

[batgirl]

I wanted to make a comment out of curiosity more than anything. For those of you who voted yes to this poll, what was your official diagnosis? Not to be rude, but I have a feeling people who vote yes are either in denial about the serious and permanent nature of PTSD, or have perhaps not been diagnosed on the severest end of the scale. Maybe you are able to work, maybe your symptoms were only severe for a short period of time, and so on. That's my opinion anyhow. Feel free to disagree.

[Eagle]

I believe in healing. I believe in recovery. I have experienced much of it in my years dealing with ptsd. It is alot of work, takes alot of courage but it can be done. YES!!!

[hodge]

I've pondered this poll several times. Guess I hoped that, as I learned more and tested the waters more, I could vote "yes." But I think I'm finally accepting that, no, the symptoms won't end. They can get better for spells, but, unless there's some miracle cure, I see now that I am going to have to deal with them for the rest of my life.

[batgirl]

I believe in healing too... to an extent. I have worked extremely hard on myself. Some of the things I have accomplished have been incredible. I never thought in my wildest dreams I'd be able to do some things that I am now doing. But... the fact remains, everytime I think I'm doing great and let down my guard so to speak, I fall flat on my face. There are certain things I absolutely must avoid and I don't see that ever changing, neither do my doctors. In fact, they suggest I permanently avoid certain situations. It's like the PTSD is just waiting in the shadows to pounce on me when I'm not vigilant. It has an altered my brain. I don't know about anyone here, but my PTSD shows up in my brain, my right hippocampus has lost volume since the trauma, and my frontal lobe is enlarged. While I am positive I am can manage my symptoms well with lots of hard work, I honestly do not believe I will ever be symptom free or PTSD free, unless there is some cure in the future of course.

[grace5555]

HI, Evie,

I don't think I will ever be free from it either. We have rather similar diagnosis and I have also recently had the brain scan done that shows brain damage from the trauma. I am also told that there are some things I will never ever be able to do. I am working right now on accepting that and not fighting against something I have no control over but I am not there yet. The sadness and grief is overwhelming most days. I would hazard a guess that you understand that.

Grace

[batgirl]

Yup I totally understand that! It's hard. But it is very comforting to know that there are others in my situation, who have this severely and realize it's never going to be completely "cured". I get really sick of people saying they are symptom-free or that there is a cure. Sometimes I wonder if those people have the same illness as me??? It just gets old after a while, and it makes me feel bad, I feel judged to be honest. Like I'm somehow being negative. But I am NOT being negative... just realistic!! I am confident I will have a good life and be able to do lots of things. But I will never be completely symptom free. In my case, that's a fantasy.

[Lisa]

Well you won't be who you were before the trauma, but I know you can get better and manage your PTSD, if you work hard enough on yourself. At least I'm hoping that's true!

I think I share your viewpoint here, Evie. Life pre-PTSD is gone. I believe, having struggled with PTSD since at least 13/14, that really I will never ever be 'cured' or 'PTSD free'. In a funny kind of way, I have to accept it as a part of me, who I am now. Though I don't know if I really believe it is a part of me, or something stuck to me... But I think to be 'PTSD free', I'd have to have total retrograde amnesia. As long as I remember my past, I will remember my traumas and my traumas give me PTSD. I do think I can get to a point where it is manageable to a point where I could be, for the most part, normally functioning. But I don't know to what extent I can achieve that.

Really, I just accept that for the rest of my life, there will be times where PTSD symptoms fluctuate, get worse, get better and the task now is to deal with the trauma and then to keep effects of PTSD at bay as much as possible.

[just tina]

Thinking I'm over it just keeps me in denial longer, so I fight with myself until I'm exhausted with months of screaming "What is wrong with me?!" at myself. What a waste of time. Better just to cut to the chase, and not spend all that time struggling with the wrong things.

[mightsurvive]

No im afraid I have to say that I will always be me but I live in hope that things may get better one day. Others have told me that it can and I just have to cling onto that. Here's hoping

[waif123]

Both y pychiatirst and therapist are of complete belief that you can get over PTSD, that it is indeed curable. And I believe them, I know there is a light at the end of this tunnel, I just can't see it yet.

[2quilt]

I can't imagine a life without PTSD and depression.

[simonelise29]

i voted yes, cause i am going to die trying. i'm going to manage the sh** out of this dis-ease. but i know the answer is no. my brain is completely altered, because i remember my life before the diagnosis.

i was diagnosed after gulf war, 15 years ago, and i'm not even a combat vet like the iraq vets.

i found this site today, thank god, because i know somehow it is going to help. marlene powerful post of acceptance kinda did me in.

[pandora]

I have been dealing with this for years now...i feel that some days are manageable but when stress becomes high in my personal life my symptoms definately increase. I beleive we have to learn to live with it and deal with it on a daily basis. Just my opinion though and I have a severs bavk injury too and I think that exacerbates my symptoms too, somedays.

[lrs]

I vote yes, because it is already happened. It has been almost 4 years now since I have had symptoms associated with PTSD.

[Chissi]

I have been doing so well, I thought I'd gotten well. Then, wham, I'm in the midst of depression again. I know that God is with me, but I feel alone in this as usual. I have to remind myself that I am not alone, even though I may feel alone.

Chissi

[upstream]

Yes, I do. I refuse to believe otherwise. Fight I will...

[baileysemt]

Maybe on a stronger day I would vote "yes," but on days like today, I feel like the realistic answer is "no." Realistically, I am probably going to be struggling with this 'til the end. I'm not happy about it, but it's what I've been dealt, I guess.

Bailey

[TDurden1937]

Not in the cards. PTSD is a brain chemical/neuro-pathway permanent change. I some ways, my symptoms have got worse, much worse over the years.

Managing the symptom's, especially anger and irritability, and destructive outburst meaning to take myself away from the precipitators. I've learned that if I push myself beyond a certain point, and feel that feeling that something bad will happen. I'll throw something, break something, end up cursing, put the old fist through the wall, rip the cabinet door off . . . whatever.

I don't go out of the house except to get meds or to the Dr every once and awhile. I'd go out more but I cannot tolerate cities and I live in one. My body has got so fatigued from the insomnia, and continually fighting to be productive even when dealing with all the bad stuff PTSD brings with it . . . nightmares, lack of trust, depression, lack of intimacy, fear of intimacy, no friends, trouble thinking straight, trouble making the right decision, disassociating, anger, hostility, lack of trust . . .oh ya I said that, all those things take a toll on us PTSD'ers. Ultimately, or so my therapist tells me, organ systems, and the body as a whole starts to wear out. Thus, now I am chronically fatigued almost all the time.

Before the CFS I used to get a break by getting in my car and driving up into the mountains. Now I don't have the energy to do it. Bad stuff there, eh. I had great plans for retirement . . . build stuff, go places, maybe go back to University, write. I sit in my room, read, play computer games, give my money to good causes and try and help people by writing stuff on forums like this.

Often, when I've been feeling not horrible, I've entertained thoughts of volunteering to help someone somewhere. Volunteer counseling, psych. nursing, whatever. Then when I can't even fill out a form for a training course I realize how impossible it is. I've been invited by friends to teach at Christian home schooling in history 'cause I've read so much of it. I would have loved to do that. But I knew that with feeling okay one day and then sick for a week I never could have done it.

I bought a collection of readings of the New Testament, and listen to them. So I am learning it. I've listened to it so many times I could tell you if Christ performed this miracle or that, what the Pool of Bethesda is, the parable or the wheat field, what and where Jacob's well is, how many generations there were before the Jews went into captivity in Babylon, how many generations, they were there, how many generations they were in Egypt, and how many, after Moses lead them to freedom . . . that's easy, 14 generations for each one. I can tell you when Paul was converted from the persecution of the Christians, how, why, what he saw . . . how many of the original twelve apostles survived to die of natural causes . . . one. John.

I could almost quote what John the Baptist said when the Pharisee came to him to inquire if he were the Messiah. And what he told them when they asked that if he were not the Messiah what were his preachings. "A voice in the wilderness, crying out. Make straight the path of the Lord."

It is good enough, then, that I learn the Word . . . the most beautiful words I know to be written are those that begin John . . . and I would think so even if I were not a believer.
Joh 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
Joh 1:2 The same was in the beginning with God.
Joh 1:3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.
Joh 1:4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
Joh 1:5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

I've also learned that most people are very confused and don't know what the bible teaches, why people deny Him, that as a historical document it is the most reliable history of the age. Even the Greek historians are nothing compared to the accuracy of the New Testament. I've read them. I know. I've learned that the Bible is seen by many as myth. Not so. The New Testament is the writing of testimony, just what it says . . . the witness of every day common folk . . . no nonsense folk, just like you and I, who saw stuff never seen before . . . not myth not superstition . . . superstition, in the sense we know it started hundreds of years later. No ghost, goblins, etc.

But belief is not the subject of this thread so I beg your forgiveness for rambling . . . as I do ramble so.