Does Your PTSD Affect Your Employment Status?

[piglet]

As a lot of you may know, I have been receiving much appreciated and useful support from everyone here on my journey to get myself back to work and the constant battle to stay there. I'm interested to know how many other people manage to keep a job while coping with PTSD symptoms. From this forum, I get the general impression that wanting to maintain a full-time job when you have PTSD may be unrealistic. Anyone who wants to prove this impression wrong - please feel free to say so!!!!

I love my job and want to keep it, but I have come across significant barriers with respect to my employer's response to my diagnosis. I am currently trying to resolve this issue, which may end up in court if things keep going the way they have been. This is not what I want, but I won't be forced to quit my job due to unreasonable manager types. I fully intend to keep on going until my rights in the workplace are upheld. So there. :dummy-spi

Anyway, before I explode again (doing this a lot the last couple of days), please feel free to join in with the employment poll. :smile:

[piglet]

By the way - childcare counts as employed in my opinion - it's up to you whether this counts as full or part-time!

[anthony]

What a great poll Piglet.

I choose full-time, because I look after my kids, and that is full-time. I rested for a good year or two before landing into full-time looking after the kids, which is what my doctors basically told me to do.

Working with adults, and working with children are two distinctively different things with PTSD, in that working with adults brings out the peer group pressures and expectations that cause undue stress. Dealing with adults requires the capability of intellectual conversation with both positives and negatives, which can lead to undue stress IMHO.

Dealing with children at home, within an environment that you control, is much different from my viewpoint. As a father doing the full-time job of running the house, I know exactly what mothers in that situation have gone through for hundreds of years previously. It is no simple task to achieve. With PTSD though, I actually find it very relaxing. The reason is, is that children are not as stressful as adults with PTSD. Children don't have the intellectual capability to discuss complex meanings of life and society, thus this type of stress is never present. Children just want to know why, and so forth, as they are learning life. Children don't have expectations of you like an adult does. Children just want you to be there for them, play with them, look after them, just to be with them and love them. Nothing more, nothing less. PTSD is very adaptable to this for all intensive purposes, because whilst looking after children has stressors, it isn't intentional to the point of dealing with an adult. When an adult does something wrong, they 100% realise it, where a child, they don't really realise what they have done in relation to the affect it causes to an adult. With the correct mindset, ie. they are just a child, and it is our job to teach them, care for them and look after their general well-beng, most of the stress become non-existant IMHO. I think by looking after my little one, it has helped me deal with the pressures of society and having to cope with certain roles and responsibilities faster than that if I where working within an adult environment.

Anyway, that is my perception and how my life revolves with PTSD.

[kimG]

Working as a full-time teacher of 7th graders. Not sure what causes me more stress - PTSD or 12 and 13 year olds who know it all.

Seriously though, I love my job. Have been holding it down for 11 years, the last 6 of which have been in the same school. Working with kids is so much different than working with adults. I prefer the kids...:smile:

Kim

[SpecOp27]

I am still a full time cop. Patrol, SWAT and teaching. Depends on the person.

[becvan]

I put full-time!

I have been in school (full-time) for the past four years, with two more years of University to go. I also worked full-time during the summers and just got a casual position in my feild!

The sky is the limit no matter our issues!!

Bec

[cookie]

i am full-time kindergarten teacher. summers off are a blessing, though. i can't say the ptsd hasn't made it a little harder, though. concentration and memory seem to be lacking. i like my kids to learn "by accident" with lots of activities, but lately we just get the basics. can't get motivated.. my dr. wants me to take a couple more months off, but he doesn't understand how a small private school works. i feel like i have to give it a good try now that i have already agreed to the year. and i LOVE the kids.

[No-Twitch-Tabitha]

I'm full-time...as an auto claim adjuster, so I deal with others' trauma all day, every day. I work for the largest auto insurer in Florida, and between regular and hurricane claims, my line of work is VERY stressful.

I'd go nuts if I didn't work full-time.

[Nam]

I also prefer children. They don't judge. I stay at home looking after two children of my own and the house. I also look after other people's children. Can be stressful, but it's a nice step toward working outside the home. I hope to run my own business someday. I'd like to do that within the next six years.

[linoleum]

I voted full time... however that is with a catch.
I believe that the longest I have ever held a job with a single place was one year.
The job I have now I LOVE. I love this job like I have never loved a job before. I love my clients. I love my coworkers. I love my boss.
And I want to cry every day at lunch. The only thing that holds me back is that I don't want to go back from lunch with puffy red eyes. I hate what I do and I know that all my coworkers and my boss hate me. I think they see me as inept and a fraud. I have recently been moved to another shift and all the girls on that shift are "cool" and I am such a nerd. I hate myself and I hate going to work. I hate leaving my room. I want to lay in bed reading books and petting kitties.
But I love my job. I love my coworkers and my boss. I love what I do. I feel fulfilled like never before.
I have been at this job for three months now, and have felt like this from day one.

[Pitt Bull]

I choose Full time. I work a high stress job where you need to think quick and come up with accurate answers to problems. PTSD does not help in this field in fact it has become harder to think clearly. It is also hard to keep my mind on 1 thing when I need to give 110%. So I take frequent walks to clear my head of everything else. Sometimes I wish I could stay home and take care of the kids but I know I could not do it as well as my wife does.

[lost_girl]

From this forum, I get the general impression that wanting to maintain a full-time job when you have PTSD may be unrealistic. Anyone who wants to prove this impression wrong - please feel free to say so!!!!

I love my job and want to keep it, but I have come across significant barriers with respect to my employer's response to my diagnosis. I am currently trying to resolve this issue, which may end up in court if things keep going the way they have been. This is not what I want, but I won't be forced to quit my job due to unreasonable manager types. I fully intend to keep on going until my rights in the workplace are upheld. So there. :dummy-spi


:wall: I feel exactly the same way you do, Piglet...I am supposed to be a full-time teacher, have been teaching at this school for three years, and thought I had a good relationship with my boss. Despite my filing all the proper paperwork and getting TDI for my days off, my principal won't get off of my back for working a reduced schedule. We have no union at my school and she's stressing me out so much I have the added anxiety of trying to go to work and hope she will just leave me alone to teach. I love my kids and don't want to abandon them by going on a full-time leave, but I'm going completely nuts. It doesn't help to hear other teachers talking behind my back about my using this as an excuse for a vacation. I live in Hawaii and everyone is in their own little bubble. Even the most educated people here don't know where the middle east is on a map, much less Lebanon...I feell SOOOOO alone!

I have no idea what you've gone through that brought on the PTSD, but I was stuck in Lebanon this past summer and lost friends there and came very close to dying myself. It took them weeks to get us out of there ?(I'm a U.S. citizen) and I still keep waking up every night hearing the planes and bombs. I know it's in my head but that just makes me feel crazier once I calm myself down. I am seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist (who wants to do nothing but shove pills down my throat.) It's slowly helping...at least I can sleep most of the night now with a ton of meds.

[bornjoyful]

once again an interesting concept. i have found that full time work made PTSD less managable but if i am doing something i absolutely love then it is less of a problem. however i have never felt i thrived when i went over three days a week.
now i am a full time single parent and there is no way i can hold a job and parent without being too stressed and getting more symptomatic. I consider parenting to be a job . when my child was in school i was able to think about part time again but it was still stressful. i now home educate and it works for us seamlessly most of the time.

[rtrollins]

As many of you know from my recent posts, my wife suffers from PTSD. Until she went into therapy a few years ago, her anger made it very hard for her to hold a full time job in the long term, although we didn't know it was related to PTSD at that time. She would start a job by impressing the employer with her skills etc. but after a couple of years, her anger would escalate to the point where she'd lose her job.

However, since she found a good therapist, she has gotten a good job and is still doing very well after more than two years with them. We're both hoping that she'll stay in this job for several more years.

I'm sure that everyone is different, but for my wife the cognitive behavioral therapy made a huge difference for her on the job. She learned to analyze situations much less emotionally, instead of instantly snapping at anyone who said something she didn't care for.

I'm probably rambling here, but my point is that I think the right therapy can help some people to hold a full time job, if that's what they want to do.

[bennjamin]

+ 1 vote for self employmeny here.

There is currently no way i can reside in full time or even part time work with a company ~ tried and tested. I have 3 seperate "forms" of paid work , and each is my own creation and upkeep :)
(removalist , landlord and DIY mechanic) Keeps me busy for the time being.

[Marlene]

I work full time for an equipment company and I deal with 20 salesmen pretty much on a daily basis. That's enough to send anyone's stress level soaring some days. LOL We use nextels and I've thrown mine across my office a few times.

I do know that if I didn't have something to keep me busy I'd be in a whole lot worse shape than I am now.

[9Lives]

I choose full-time, because I look after my kids, and that is full-time.

I agree with you! I'm a stay at home mom now & it's much easier for me to deal with my 2 y/o than when I struggled to work for the government for 14 years. My life is stressful at times & there's temper tantrums but, nothing a quick little "the itsy bitsy spider" song or popsicle can't cure. You can't exactly do this with adults & expect it to work lol!

[ClancyBoy]

6 months to a year in any full time job before I have a knock down drag out fight with my boss.

So yeah, it's my biggest problem.

[kers]

I work full-time as a teacher. If I wasn't on medication I think this would be a good deal more challenging! It is much easier now that I can identify and name my feelings and reactions, so I feel less out of control and crazy. I still have plenty of difficult days at work, but it is manageable. For a while I worked two jobs and went to school (pre-diagnosis!) and that was a recipe for disaster. Now that I am taking better care of myself I find I work much better. Duh!

[Shinigami_Shimai]

I've been on disablity since I was 18 and can't seem to work because my PTSD affects me in severe ways around people that the one time I tried to help out a friend who owned a book store I curled up in a ball and started crying from just staring at the cash machine.

I consider myself self employed, but my wife says otherwise. I used to run my own publishing company for comics and art, which ran for 5 years before I had a major collapse and ended up in major debt, which has been finally cleared up, and have been told by my doctor that he wants me to stay away publishing anymore. So now I just run a couple of websites for writing and forums for gay youth and I review anime/manga online. I also write lengthy novels that I'm considering publishing, but everyone thinks that would be a bad idea and no one thinks that I could handle the presure of publishing... Even if it is another publishing company in charge of the hard parts*sighs* After a 3 year break from working on anything other then writing I finally want to get back to hosting lectures at conventions, which I also did for a number of years, but again am told I won't be able to handle it and it is driving me crazy and it is beginning to make me feel even more like a failure so I guess I'll forever be an insane disablied writer/artist holding on to dreams that would never happen. *sighs*

jaa ne

Kat

[Lisa]

I choose resting. I'm a student, and I do do a little typing for someone and get paid for it, but it's not really a job, more like pocket money for an errand. If I had a job where I had to go in at particular times, I would not last more than a week at the moment. I managed 2 shifts in a bar last year, so other than that I haven't worked in over 2 years. The longest job I have had was 5 months, but I left that to go to university so t hat was my biggest success. I had another job I didn't mind, but it was boring. Other than that, I've had 5 other jobs I lasted about 3 months at most in before I totally broke down.

I have found PTSD REALLY affects my jobs, the types of job I can have even on a 'good' spell, and on a bad spell, which is usually at the moment, I can't cope with any job. I hate it because I feel like a lazy person and maybe I just need to be stronger but I genuinely struggle in particular jobs, like authoritarian workplaces, I can't cope I'm terrified constantly and feel trapped.

It worries me, as next year is my last year at uni., and then I really will have to work and not have the convenience of my parents house because I'm 300 miles away. So I really will have to fend for myself. So I have a year to get better! I guess I'm lucky that I'm a student, as it's socially accepted not to work as a student though I do find I get a lot of grief for apparantly 'having it easy' by those housemates who do work part time. I really want to get better so that I can work. After my degree is going to be the telling point of how much my PTSD is going to stop me in life... if I can't cope with it, I won't be able to continue with my career into psychology. I'd have to move back to my parents house - it's trigger happy there, so I'm not keen on that.

Actually... thank you for this poll. Realising this has suddenly hit me how I don't have time to mess about any more. I've got to get better. I've got push myself over my limit if necessary, because it's okay while Im a student, I can resit a year if I have to... but I wont have the option after my degree.

[brainless_twit]

I am working full-time as a dialysis center social worker, but the PTSD definitely affects my work. Some days I just sit in my office and pray that no one comes in there because I'm so unable to focus. A few times I've had to shut my door so my coworkers won't see me crying. I would give anything not to have to work until I'm in a better place psychologically, but unfortunately, there is no option for me to cut back or quit right now. Luckily I haven't had to explain anything to my supervisor yet, but I get the feeling it's coming, especially now that I have a million therapy/doctor appointments coming up.

I mentioned this in my intro, but I actually went through all my years of college and grad school thinking I was going to be a therapist. I interned as a therapist during grad school and did well, but in the back of my mind I always thought, Who am I kidding? They're all going to realize that I'm more ****ed up than they are. Who would want me helping them? Someday I hope to be in a better place and pursue my dream, but it's just not possible right now. It's weird, because low self-esteem keeps me from doing it, but it also lowers my self-esteem that I'm not doing it - all my friends from school are working in mental health and it seems like I'm the only one who isn't. I went to a continuing education class yesterday and many of my former classmates were there. I ended up crying on the way home because I had to listen to their case examples and feel like a lesser social worker. I like my job, but it's just not what I want to do.

Anyway, I'll shut up now. I'm always too long-winded when I post here. :biggrin:

[2quilt]

I have been on disability for 7 years for physical disability, but the list of problems was long enough to grant me disability before they got to PTSD so they went ahead and granted me disability. Physical pain goes hand in hand wwith depression and it can also go along with PTSD. I had a hard time dealing with the BS at work at my various jobs because I just don't put up with certain things going on, and that was a pattern I saw in my jobs. There's a certain type of environment I need to work in, just leave me alone and let me do my work and I will do the best production of all. Stand over me like a hawk and I will quit. If you are asking for advice and want to go back to work, I would suggest making a list of what you liked best and disliked most about your past jobs, and see if you can find patterns. Find an environment where your PTSD will not be triggered as much.

[rt1967]

I think i have kept going sometimes and have felt/feel i should because i didn't realise that i didn't have to be doing what i sometimes think i had to be doing.

[rt1967]

if that makes any sense

[rob_4760]

I've been off work for four and 1/2 years my doctors refuse to sign off. They are in the process of ending my work life. This is really when things are easily triggered. I loved catching people stealing it was the best job.

[txmomof3]

I am on disability for both physical and psychological reasons. Work and school were both great escape techniques for me. However, I got to the point where I completely decompensated...and there is no way I could work right now.

[Marine0311]

Work nights basically alone. I'm working right now! If I worked around people, I'd be fired ricky tic....

[Bella78]

My hubby with PTSD not only works full time but does this in his own business which he owns and operates alone.

Not only that, but the business was set up (lock stock and barrell, including fit out, equipments, systerms, etc) only weeks after his trauma. There was a lot of help from me naturally, but the oither thing is that we did lots of it oursleve to save money.

At the time (until only a couple of weeks ago) I did not realise how remarkable this was for him. Unfortunatley all i could see were the piles of "mistakes" he made and let him know too. A few days ago I told him how amazing he was that he had achieved what he has and he cried.

Unfortunalty things are not going well for him at work. Since he is inavoidance mode and has moved out of our home, not wanting my help or input in the business, it has gone down hill quite badly. I am not even sure how badly as he does not want me involved.

He badly needs a good rest, but he commits to work he just can't do and then has to work crazy hours to get it done, and that's never on time anyway. So he is not able to take a break now or anytime soon that I am aware of. Plus, the bills have piled up beyond belief and they don't get paid if work isn't being done.

It's all quite a big bad mess right now. But like I keep saying, to hell with it, he is the most important thing, nothing else, not even the business. Although it would destroy him it if all fell in a heap I think.

[Bella78]

To add, I have secondary trauma, and while this is not al all PTSD, I have personally found that as long as I can make it to work in the first place (which some days is very difficult or impossible, due to various states of depression or emotional exhaustion) it is the best thing for me. I love my job and my colleagues. They are all very understanding and lots of fun. When I am laughing at work I am always glad I made it in.

Although my concentration is pretty shocking some days, I still get a lot of satisfaction from it. I am told over and over that i am holding it together very well considering my situation and most of the time I tend to agree.

[mightsurvive]

I havent voted because i'm still waiting to find out how it will affect my job. It affects me because i often feel like i cant cope with work but then i love doing the teaching its self becuase the kids make me happy and make me stop thinking about myslef. I have told my emplioyers about my trauma and ptsd and they have been supportive. As i cant take meds anymore and my psychologist is too expensive and on long term sick leave anyway im not coping again. I told my boss this and she has arranged for me to have 6 counselling sessions which im going to take advantage of. So there are some great bosses out there. However, the paranoid side of me thinks that they are just offering this support to cover my backs and that really they just want rid of my because of my issues. So ill reserve judgement on your poll for now and let you know.
Take care

[Grama-Herc]

Did not vote because my PTSD has made me unemployable. I simply fail to show up for work most of the time. That is what finally caused me to enter tx and get diagnosed

[ruddy]

I work full time and then some. I tend to be a workaholic. That keeps me functioning in the logical world and helps me to avoid addressing anything emotional. Not exactly healthy . . . I guess ptsd manifests itself in different ways for each of us.

[TaraJ]

I think it just depends upon the person.
For years, I've been just pushing my symptoms way way down, and holding them there, at the bottom.
I make myself do what I have to do.
I need to, in order to feel as though I'm worth something.
I seem to feel worthless quite often. I have learned to defy what brings me down, and just to keep going no matter what. So I am in a full time position, managing a cosmetics counter at a retail store.
I do what I have to do, and being there with all those crazy girls, helps me keep my mind off of everything. The only problem is, once I get home, I'm falling apart again. At least I hold out for 8 hours.
I keep it under wraps the best that I can, but it does affect my relationship with my boyfriend. He doesn't understand how I can feel as though my life is meaningless and void and pained, when our home life is perfect, and we have each other to see at the end of each day. It doesn't make sense to him. I know he sees that I'm breaking apart at the seams, but I really don't know what I can do about it.
I have to keep my job, and as it seems, I can only block it all from my mind for so long. I don't have the strength to keep doing it after working all day. He sees me lying limp and all depressed-like on the couch, and it makes him very sad and confused.

[Roo]

Gulp...I am employed full-time, but am presently on a short-term medical leave. I had a terrible bout of flu in January which seemed to open a door to severe depression and a resurgence of PTSD symptoms -- I haven't experienced this in seven years. One of my best friends, who has PTSD, is on permanent disability. She's encouraging me to take this route -- she knows me very well and we had a frank conversation last week about my terribly checkered work history (lots of absences due to illness/exhaustion; been fired four times; mediocre performance reviews; always too slow for the frenzied expectations at work...etc.). I am feeling like a useless waste of time because I'm beginning to wonder if I can work full-time...I'm 48 years old; have had one job or another since I was 17, and I am, for the first time, seeing my work history from the perspective of PTSD and its effects. To put it bluntly (and I hope it's OK to use the "f" word in this context), I feel like a total ****-up in the working world. My predominant feeling is of being overwhelmed and most of my energy goes into keeping my head together and not looking like the mess I am inside. I come home feeling utterly ragged and exhausted every day; I work in an environment that is very negative -- autocratic leadership; constant pressure to perform, etc. I would love to hear from anyone who struggles like this with full-time employment. Thanks...Roo.

[linasmom]

*sigh* I work full-time right now but just had a break-down and cried, the first time in a very long time, and told my husband that it's just unbearable for me to work right now. We are discussing options - maybe short term disability through my employer. I just can't handle work right now and whenever I'm there all I can think about is walking out - which I have done with my previous three jobs.

[depp]

After moving away from my family I got a lot better and started working full-time, but I took at least 2 sick days every month. And I worked with the most painful headaches just to keep the sick days to a minimum. After doing some exposure scripts and taking two weeks disability, I went back to work and did much better, but I still need at least one sick day a month and when triggers come I stay at work through some incredible exhaustion. I'm not sure if full-time work is the best for me.
I don't know anybody else with PTSD and of the people I've told, about 5% have responded appropriately. Most people think I should buck up and either work harder or exercise more. So, it has been really good to read so many responses to this question and see the variety of answers.

[indigo~in~0z]

i dont know how to answer...

i am on disability... in summary, because of cognitive functioning as well of reactivity to the slightest stress..

but

i cant hold down a job any longer.... i could reasonably hold a business together of my own - i think? i do aim to at some stage...
i do parent full-time including home-educating...
tho i do have my husband at home because - it is better for my children and myself if i minimise the stress with some help.... he sort of does most of the doings, i try and do most of the thinkings, but we have a very stressful / dysfunctional family that we are trying to repair atm.... we all have our issues that trigger other members issues, like a big snowball effect..

its devastating

[ChrisB]

Piglet- For me the poll did not have another choice-which is "Unemployed." I ought to stay on the job. The doctors and the state would not allow it and I was given a disability pension. I was told by my Doc to get Social Security; I fought that as well because I was sure I could beat this in a short time. It took less than a month to be approved on the first try. I was so hurt inside knowing that others were so willing to toss my skills aside. Now I understand that they were right but at the time I was destroyed. Your boss better be careful. The disabiliies act is very clear on this issue.
Good Luck

[jccali72]

I have worked nonstop for the past twenty years and at a feverous pace since 2001. My PTSD is officially 7 months old but has been festering under the surface since my stint in Kuwait in 1998.
My workaholic nature has shifted rapidly since January and I am now on hiatus from my chosen career in sales. I broke down at work a month or so ago and the VA has still not recommended I return. I will begin PET treatment in a couple of weeks.
It is apparent that I must deal with my demons. I miss working...I would like to work but can barely even leave the house on most days.

With all of this though...I have renewed hope. I am realizing that sales is probably not the place for me and am becoming ok with it...I think.

Question...if the treatment is effective would you return to prior career? Or pick a new one?

Any advice is always welcome...jen

[Brella]

I guess what has saved me is competency (in software development). But I struggle with conflict of any type and seem to be a target for bullies. Just an email asking me to attend a meeting (I think is unnecessary) will set me off: heart in my throat, shallow rapid breathing, stunned how to respond. Seems like the trigger has something to do with feeling taken advantage of or taken for granted - I'm working through that with my therapist.

I let my boss know in vague terms that I'm going through a 'family crisis' and that I'm 'holding it together'. I haven't told them that it's PTSD. I have huge fears that I will screw up and be out of a job, a home, a place to live.

If I can just do my job without dealing with bullies or conflict, then I am quite well occupied and distracted from how alone I feel. It's weekends that are hard, back in the bubble... feeling so separate from the rest of the world.

I see the T on Monday, it's gonna be a real 'crier' of a session I can just tell...

[hodge]

Well, I've been here more than a year and just seeing this poll has always triggered me, but I finally voted. I'm "resting." But it's more like I can't work. It really hurts. I think I was a workaholic, probably to avoid everything. For almost 20 years, I loved what I did and was good at it, then PTSD hit me several years ago and gradually ate away at my concentration, wellness, productivity, confidence. Too many things triggered me, both at work and outside work. I missed so many days due to emotional sickness . . . intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, haunting nightmares, paralyzation, etc., that it got to the point that a "good" week was when I could put in 10-15 hours. I don't remember how I got through those last months. It was all an agonizing blur. I was relieved when I got laid off. I simply couldn't deal with the stress anymore. I am finally learning to do better without the stress of work - one measurement of this is that I don't go through every day wishing I could check myself into a hospital :)