Why Was Scott Fraser Banned?

[anthony]

For those that have sent me PM's about Scott Fraser being banned, and haven't received responses, here is the one time facts of the situation as to why I banned him from the forum.

Simply put, there were far too many females making statements too me about inappropriate remarks he makes / had made to them, he targeted females primarily here, single one's at best, and used the site like it was some sort of dating portal.

This is a PTSD forum, and whilst we have a general chat forum, the main focus is PTSD. For those who try these tactics, I have never made it a secret that we will catchup with them and their antics, as people PM myself and other editors all specifics and correspondance when offended.

That is why Scott Fraser was banned by myself from this forum, because his behaviour was sexually inappropriate to people who are very much here in the first place because of such traumatic events occuring within their lives.

[batgirl]

So when someone is banned, is it forever? What's to keep them from coming back under a different username?

[anthony]

There are ways in which a person can do it, but they have to know what they are doing firstly. It is easy enough to soon work out who they are very quickly. For obvious reasons, I am not going to list how things can be gotten around here.

[batgirl]

Yeah I guess you obviously can't explain that, sorry. But I'm glad you can figure out who a person is though, if they come back. That's reassuring.

[wildfirewildone]

:gunem-dow More power to yuh...Anthony!!!!! I am particularly relieved that he is GONE!!!!!!! I had been uneasy about his posts and some alarm had been sent off in my brain that he was behaving in a predatory manner....I did though fail to say anything about him before he was banned as I was afraid that I would be seen as attacking another member.....Would it have been appropriate for me to have nailed him on the public forum??? I really could use some input on that....I do feel upset that maybe because I didn't confront him that it gave him extra time to privately sexually harrass other members of out community....For that I am truly sorry:frown: I am also relieved that he lives in Scotland as at least there's an OCEAN between us!!!!! This is really bad timing for me to have had this go on and then be finally given knowledge of what he was truly up to....On the 19th of this month is the second anniversy of my rape and the one person I had for support can no longer ethically talk to me about it as I was a client at that county's rape crisis center [now closed:frown: ] and the rape crisis center no longer exists so she has no legal backup to act in their behalf.....She now works at the battered women's shelter and this is what her boss has told her:crybaby: SUCKS!!!!!!: I think I better let that wound be reopened [though right now it's starting to come apart] as I talk to my therapist in 3 days.....I did get a chance to talk to one of the nurses when I was in the hospital about the upcoming anniversy and the situation I noted above and she said to talk-about-it as I am still keeping a lot inside.....I guess I haven't really dealt with the feelings which at this moment are getting more to the surface.....:eek: I just have to keep doing my deep breathing!!!!! STANDING FOR PEACE AND NON-VIOLENCE

[Jim]

Must say I'm pleased the ability to ban troublesome members exists. Makes for a much safer experience. Thank you Anthony.

Jim.

[becvan]

WF:

the appropriate way to handle this would be to privately pm one of us editors and foward pm's to us that make you uncomfortable. It is in no way, being mean towards other members when it's private. However this type of thing should not be blasted in public when it's yet to be determined what problem is arising.

Hope that helps some.

bec

[veiled]

And please I stress we all need to know! I get a private complaint or two, bec gets a couple, Y&A gets some, Anthony gets some... See thing is we do not know until the complaints get excessive and one of us mentions it, then we see how wide spread it is.

You know why? Because hardly anyone uses the report system in place (the bell in the upper right) So in this case and many others the left hand does not know what the right is doing. The bell keeps every editor informed at all times and makes this job a whole lot easier. The bell is there for everyone's benefit. And is of great help for us editing and keep the board running smoothly.

[Jim]

Used the bell once. So it was sent to all of you simultaneously? That is good to know for future reference.

Jim.

[veiled]

If you report a Private Message I believe Anthony is the only recipient. Within a thread and a post like this it goes to all of our private e mail accounts not displayed. So we are more likely to be right on top of it and clean it up. A feature not used near enough but a wonderful one to have to maintain the board.

[mouse]

thank you allfor not only reeducating but for keeping us safe espaecially when there are triggers so close to the issue. Thank you all edditors and Anthony for keeping us safe as we can be

[YoungAndAngry]

Heck, if anyone ever feels threatened by another member,
please don't hesitate to contact me (or other editors, I'm assuming they feel the same way...)
Creeping/stalking/flaming/starting conflicts are not welcome.

[wildfirewildone]

:wink: Thanks bec & veiled for clearing up the matter about what I can do if I suspect someone is being predatory.....I did not even know what the heart and bell symbols meant.....what does the heart symbol mean?? Rest assured that when I start getting creeped out about a suspected predator I WILL USE THE BELL!!!!!! Somewhere along the line I never got the information about those symbols purpose......Thanks ladies for clearing that up......STANDING FOR PEACE AND NON-VIOLENCE

[batgirl]

The heart is for adding to someone's reputation, the little green squares under your number of posts. You click on it if you want to send someone a positive message about what they posted.

[veiled]

LMAO... Still trying to figure out how I got those as I piss off so many people! But please people use the bell. Even if you are not comfortable with an editor we know how to step back and look at it in perspective with personal issues aside (whole point). I think a few here may even not believe it but we do play devil's advocate and it is helpful when using the report system so we can discuss from many points what we think as a board editor should do. Since we do not always agree we like to discuss issues and make choices from there.

One thing for certain our choices are made for the OVERALL welfare of the forum.

[Claire]

Hello everyone, I'm a bit puzzled by Scott's banning. He is married with kids and his wife reads the forum too so why would he use this fourm for such inappropriate behaviour? Did anyone challenge him when this was taking place? He does seem to have a knack for upsetting people accidently. Some of this is the language/culture barrier as I could tell when he was teasing, harmlessly. Could this have been the case or is it without doubt? He said a few things to me but nothing that offended me. I'm not doubting what people have experienced, if they were offended then they were offended. I also respect the fact that many here have experienced sexual abuse and that they will be extremely sensitive to inappropriate behaviour but can anyone tell me in more detail what Scott did?

[becvan]

Claire this matter has already been discussed and handled by forum editors and the administrator. We are not going to release details, nor get in a debate over it. I realize you were freindly with him; however we can not discuss details. We have Scott himself to consider and other members on this forum.

bec

[mac]

Bec, no offense, but your reply reminds me of something the US president and his crew might say to the little people beneath them.:think:

Anyway, Anthony seems to have implied, at the beginning of the thread, that this was a 'done-deal,' so may I simply suggest closing this thread.

[Claire]

Hello, I dont want a debate. Just an explanation. It feels a bit like a dictatorship at the moment. I'm not disagreeing or agreeing with what has happened as I dont know what has happened, thats the whole point. I dont want an argument, I'm just asking what happened.

[batgirl]

I understand what you mean Claire, but I think it would be difficult to go into anymore detail than what has already been said, without hurting the people involved or violating people's privacy.

[anthony]

Bingo Evie... and I agree mac, and will close this thread after this post.

I have never made it a secret, I am 100% in control of this forum, it is private, not corporate, it is paid for solely by myself, it is run voluntarily. I have a very open door policy, and I have a very tolerant nature about me to let people go and hang themselves, not try and restrict things, opinions, beliefs, etc... simply respect, however; the facts are that the majority of people here suffer trauma, the facts are that the majority of people here are women most of which have been sexually abused, raped, etc... and the facts are, Scott Fraser is the first person to step over the line (even in my presence) with sexually inappropriate behaviour towards females who feel very much insecure because of their trauma, to have sexual advances towards them in any way, shape or form upon the very community that is here and meant to be helping everyone, not hindering them.

I don't give a rats arse if someone is joking or the like, if sexual comments are made continuously towards females, specific types of females are singled out in private (ie. single ladies) and so forth, I know about it soon enough, and will not tolerate it at all. I had a lot of complaints about Scott, and I waited patiently to see if he would come around, I discussed all points with him in private, as other editors also had done, and comments still continued.

If a person cannot respect what may, or may not, be inappropriate to others, nor do they really care at all, then I have no issue in protecting the majority of the community at all.

Nobody ever just gets banned here, they are always warned prior. I had tracked Scotts complete history here once complaints started rolling in, and he was targeting single females, he was being inappropriate towards females on this forum in private messages and chat, married or not, that doesn't make him a saint, he was targeting women with inapprorpriate comments, questions and issues. Questions asked you could expect to see on a dating portal, let me just say that, not a PTSD support group.

This is not a pickup portal.

[veiled]

Call it a dictatorship or what ever you want, it is called moderating a forum and keeping it as healthy an environment for those here wanting and trying to heal. As Evie pointed out to go into details would violate privacy entrusted in the editors of the forum. What goes on is not always seen by the board as a whole but by us. But I agree a lock on this.