How Do You Heal From PTSD?

[Monarch]

So, I have been diagnosed with PTSD for almost a year now. It has been a hard year, alot of ups and downs and I have a good therapist. I guess I just don't understand how I am going to "fully" recover or will there always be an interal struggle for me.

[Monarch]

I guess I don't get the part where I am going to be free of this crap that has a grip on me. I do the therapy thing and it works good for awhile and then something happens and I immediately go back to acting the way I did before.

Ugh, when will this stop!

[cookie]

welcome to the forum, monarch. i think you'll find that instead of "going away" you will learn to manage the symptoms to such a degree as to lead a happy, normal, life. that's what i'm banking on, anyway.

[cookie]

i know how you feel, probably we all do, lol. i have made up my mind that it is something i will do, if it takes 3 yrs, or 10 yrs, no matter.

[Marlene]

I'm with cookie on this one...it's something you have to make a committment to, a promise to yourself, what ever you want to call it. Dealing with each and every trauma, and all of the other things that tend to hide behind the traumas (i.e. things that have hurt you before in life that haven't been dealt with-just stuffed down), being honest with yourself, having others be honest with you. It's not easy, it's not pretty, it will make your symptoms worse for a while...but it's worth it because you get to have your life back.

There's no cure, there's no magic pill...PTSD will be with you for life. It's a matter of learning to manage your symptoms AFTER you've dealt with your traumas. Otherwise, like you said, you're right back where you started.

I'm coming up on my one year anniversary of my symptoms going out of control (even though I've had PTSD most of my life and didn't know). It's been a hell of a year. But I know I'm healing-it's been hard, hard work. No matter how long it takes, I'll keep fighting because I want it that badly.

[willing]

I am just realizing too this is a monumental task at hand. Recovery and management. I wish you the best Monarch as I too don't know how or where exactly I am going to turn out. Sometimes I don't see how it will turn out to something different than it is...which makes it really hard. I just try and drop my expectations. That's all I can do along with being willing and honest.

[moki]

I agree that it all has to do with dealing with the trauma first, then managing afterwards. But you know...try not to be so hard on yourself, and as willing said - drop your expectations a bit - give yourself some room. I am slowly figuring this out as I go, but giving yourself a break is something I know for sure.

[Monarch]

True, when I first was diagnosed I thought, wow, I should be able to beat this in a year if I work really hard. Ha, I totally set that bar too high. i can't even think about saying that I am even close to well right now. I was diagnosed because I tried suicide, I completely spun out of control once I told my therapist why i was there. It brought up everything and I went back to being hurt. I still am not good at talking about it and my therapist isn't puching me too much because I still have suicidal thought, I guess that is what I am hoping will go away.

[Nemesis]

I asked my psychiatrist the identical question the day I was diagnosed. He said, "practice". Everyone's a comedian.

-Mark

[anthony]

Thats the problem though, therapists won't dig at you too much because of legal liability nowadays... being you walk out the door, commit suicide, someone is going to begin asking questions basically. Suicide is something you must control for starters, being you must come to terms with putting that shit out of your head, or simply go and do it if that is what you want. Either way, if you want to die, nothing anyone says will stop you except for you. That is the first decision to have to consciously make and stick by regardless how shit you feel, or are going to feel during the healing process.

If you come to me telling me that you want to commit suicide, and you didn't want to make an active decision to ensure you don't, being you really don't want to die and regardless what your brain tells you, you will fight it and not do the act, then I wouldn't touch you either, because your simply too much of a risk to yourself. I would simply tell you to go away, when you sort yourself out mentally in that regard, then come back and see me.

If you think what you have done thus far is tough, your only scratching the surface at a rough guess for when you really are provoked in relation to your trauma. Touchy feelie... soft approach DOES NOT work for PTSD.

[Monarch]

I am starting to realize that, I know it is just this shit in my head that makes the suicidal crap come up. I didn't realize that until about 2 months ago. My therapist (Doug) says that I just need to take it off the table as an option, don't even think about it. That has worked pretty good lately. I can honestly say that I don't want to die, I just don't know what to do when I get out of sorts and it seems the easiest solution. I feel more in control of that part of my problem than I have in a year. It just makes me feel crazy, and I don't want to be crazy.

[pandora]

I THOUGHT IT WOULD TAKE 10 SESSIONS I WOULD RETURN TO WORK AND BE FINE.oops sorry! I really thought if I worked hard and did everything to learn and help myself I would be cured. Boom, 25 sessionsdone and 30 more approved. It even got to the point of my therapist telling me "I was doing too much self help, i was eating, breathing and sleeping PTSD. I don't do that as much anymore, give myself breaks now etc, etc I am healing and continue to heal because I want to feel better and I want my son to have a happy Mom. It is helpful here to have people assist you because we are all experiencing this and trying to learn to live with it.

[Monarch]

I am glad that I am here, I have found more understanding and knowledge here than anywhere else. That is really great and I feel good about it and for the first time in a very long time I feel accepted. I want to be a happy healthy person, for my husband and kids for my career and I want to work on forming other relationships. It is going to be a hard road but it is the best one to take, I see that now.

[kdm]

I'm with cookie on this one...it's something you have to make a committment to, a promise to yourself, what ever you want to call it. Dealing with each and every trauma, and all of the other things that tend to hide behind the traumas (i.e. things that have hurt you before in life that haven't been dealt with-just stuffed down), being honest with yourself, having others be honest with you. It's not easy, it's not pretty, it will make your symptoms worse for a while...but it's worth it because you get to have your life back.

There's no cure, there's no magic pill...PTSD will be with you for life. It's a matter of learning to manage your symptoms AFTER you've dealt with your traumas. Otherwise, like you said, you're right back where you started.

I'm coming up on my one year anniversary of my symptoms going out of control (even though I've had PTSD most of my life and didn't know). It's been a hell of a year. But I know I'm healing-it's been hard, hard work. No matter how long it takes, I'll keep fighting because I want it that badly.

Wow! This is what is happening to me now for the first time; my learning I have had PTSD my whole life, and I am just now experiencing it full blown for the first time ever these past 6 weeks. What has been happening to me I have only learned by the internet as well as so many answers on this forum. The info I learned about PTSD on the internet gave me an answer to things I never knew there was a title for. Now, I learn there is someone else out there that I may be able to identify with. I keep thinking I will be ok any moment now, but am experiencing instead a whole new ball game. But now I may see that I too may be saying I will have a year anniversary to this in the upcoming future. I saw the doctor in March and disintegrated immensely ever since, and I have called for help but there is none and no one is here. But I handled it myself and used my intellect as my guide. I have made it through. This is a good resource and I am grateful to have found this forum. Good luck to all!

[WarHippy1%]

I have to agree with Anthony, therapists have to watch how they treat us, but we also need to watch out for the therapist whose curiosity about PTSD overloads their good sense. I encountered a therapist while in relationship counseling, who thought she could make a breakthrough with my PTSD. She had me close my eyes and try to remember holding a friend as he died, trying to help me remember his name (that was a BIG issue with me). She caused one of the worst flashbacks I've ever experienced, and I don't think she cared much for the demons she unleashed that day either. All that just made me feel more hopeless, but the good news is, you may never recover, but you can learn to live with it, and even be happy. So, buck up Lady, you can learn if I can learn, suicide is a rotten permanent solution to a temporary problem. You can't take it back, and it causes Loved one's way more pain than you're enduring.
WarHippy1%

[Monarch]

yup, I have learned suicide isnt' the answer now. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't go down that path anymore. I feel good about it, I think part of those feelings I have are wanting to avoid dealing with the pain and hurt, avoidance if you wish and now that it is out the open after hiding it for so long it is harder to avoid. Anyway, thanks.