Need Advice - Boyfriend Is a Marine With PTSD

[JESSICAlovesERIC]

my boyfriend is a marine he had post-traumatic stress disorder. he doesnt talk about it at all when i try to ask he will just say "you wont understand" what he doesnt understand is i love him more then anything and all i want to do is be there for him...

we have been fighting a lot i kept saying "i cant take your ups and downs" then it hit me what if what he has is the reason why hes acting out... i started researching what PTSD is.. a lot of what the symptoms are relate to how he acts day to day...

i want to talk to him about it, tell him that i looked up what it is and that i want to help and i want to be his support....

i would like to know exactly how to help him.. what i can do to help him get over this even to understand whats going on with him...

please if u have any advice id love to hear it....

[YoungAndAngry]

Welcome Jessica,

[veiled]

First understand he will never "get over it". You will have ups and downs period. No ifs ands or buts...

After time (years sometimes) you can get to a point you learn where you can function having this. It is a hard ride but only you know if it is worth it.

Read the posts and you will get an idea.

[Marlene]

Welcome to the forum, Jessica

[JESSICAlovesERIC]

thank you, all of you!!

[JESSICAlovesERIC]

i didnt mean "get over it" i know u never get over it u jus learn to live with it...what i ment is i want him to stop thinking because he cant go back to iraq it doesnt mean that when a friend gets hurt it his fault....i dont know how to help him understand that....

[veiled]

He will need counseling to understand that. It takes a long time and guilt is always a big factor in this condition. I wish you the best of luck with it, I know it is hard. Maybe you could ask him to look in over here.

[JESSICAlovesERIC]

well tonight im going to try to get him to talk to me bout it and ima tell him bout this place.... he wont talk to me about anything cuz hes embarrassed about his disorder, before me researching it i had no idea what it entailed... im kinda scared though i dont want him to think im over steping or trying to bring up anything to upset him.....

[veiled]

Don't expect a good response and do not take it personally. Don't force a chat. Just drop him the worm and see if he bites. If he is ready for help then great but normally you refuse it until you hit rock bottom.

[Monarch]

veiled is right, don't force it, he has to make the decision. Just tell him you love him and it might be good if he could talk to someone about it, look for a therapist that is former military themselves that might make him more comfortable.

[anthony]

Hi Jessica, welcome to the forum. It doesn't matter what you do, he must choose to help himself. The only choice you make is whether you support him to sit in self sympathy or not, or whether you support him to get of his backside and get himself the correct help he needs. Medication is not the answer to PTSD.

[ronnielovesron]

:hello: :hello:

[dljwhitewolf]

if you want to PM me by all means. I have complex ptsd and it started when i was two and three, so i understand him alot. He doesn;t even know what hit him yet it is too soon. He needs to go to a va clinic where there are groups for ptsd and the other vets can help him, in the mean time you need support, "white wolf" aka donna-lynne
hope this helps