PTSD Epidemic In The Family

[Sapper]

I wasn't going to do an introduction but it appears everyone does. I am related to the forum members batgirl, Jim, Kathy, and TinCanCommando. Jim and Kathy are my parents, batgirl is my cousin Evelyn and Tin is my brother Brian who died recently. I signed on with the intention to read my cousin's trauma diary and try to make some sense of recent events. Maybe it's soon but I'm ready to learn some things.

I wrote PTSD Epidemic in the title of this thread because there's now 4 members of my immediate family with this mental illness. All dead except for Evie. I thought it was about time I educated myself. I get Evie having it after what she went through, but my brother is a mystery. I saw him 6 months ago and he was fine. I don't mean bullshit fine, he was his usual jolly self, no problems. Next thing I know, I'm hearing that he's acting like an idiot, driving drunk and being a creep. Then dead. What the hell happened? I sound like a cold hearted bastard, him being dead only 2 weeks now, but I'm right pissed off at Brian. I'd like to beat the crap out of him. He has a 3 year old son who now cries for his father. His death was the last thing my parents needed right now. Not too great for Evie or the rest of the family either. We've seen enough in the last few years.

Anyhoo that's me. I'm a busy person, my wife and I are both full time in AIRCOM and we have 4 children under age 6, but I'll try to come on here
when I can. Travis.

[jods]

Hi Sapper
Welcome aboard! I told Evie that when you posted I would say Hi!

This site has great info to help us non sufferers so we can try to learn about this illness & what it does to those we love. I know I'm learning different things all the time. Feel free to look in the carers section too.

[Sapper]

Thanks for the welcome jods, it's appreciated. It's good to know Evie has some friends here. I will peruse the entire site, perhaps download a few things to read offline in my spare time. I have time to kill on the computer this week as I'm on holiday but after that I won't be able to sign in much.

[Claire]

Hello Sapper, by the way what does Sapper mean, I've never heard of it? :think:

[Sapper]

Hello Claire, a sapper is a job in the Commonwealth military, same rank as private. The lowest rank of military engineers or royal engineers. Military engineers do combat engineering, construction, penetrating minefields, disarming booby traps, building roads and bridges and so forth. Truthfully I am not a sapper, I am an officer in the Canadian Air Command. My maternal granddad was a Royal Canadian Engineer and I was very attached to him as a kid, hence the name.

[batgirl]

I sound like a cold hearted bastard, him being dead only 2 weeks now, but I'm right pissed off at Brian.

I don't think you're a cold hearted bastard. Actually I'm kind of relieved you said you are angry with Brian because I am too but I was afraid to say anything. I guess I shouldn't talk as I've done dangerous things myself and I was just lucky I didn't die while doing them, but I can't help feeling angry with Brian for driving drunk and then having the accident. I wish he would have been more careful... then he wouldn't be dead and we wouldn't all be left having to pick up the pieces. I feel upset when I think about Liam growing up without his father, and Uncle and Auntie being devastated losing their son. I am very sad, I miss Brian and I know it was the PTSD, but at the same time when I'm crying about it I think god Brian you're such a ****ing asshole, how could you do this to us???

[anthony]

Hey Travis, welcome to the forum mate.

Evie, I do want to point out a cold truth though, seen as though were at it in this thread already, in that the shit you are seeing Brians actions to his death cause for your family, are the exact repercussions you would cause if you died from doing some of the dumb shit you have done/do at times, yes, you know what I'm talking about... maybe your family do/don't, but lets be honest, if you succeeded in any suicidal attempt, your now seeing what you would cause. I hope this is some food for thought for you Evie to think clearer when suicidal ideation is present within you.

Sorry Travis for hijacking the thread.... had to take that opportunity to point that out to Evie... especially under present circumstances.

So Travis, back to your post.... PTSD is being investigated for genitic traits, however; there is no conclusive evidence as yet that genetics predispose any family member to PTSD, stress, anxiety, etc. Why so many in your family? Male + military + operational time = high chance of PTSD. Male simply equates that genetics isolate males to not talking about their true emotion; military and operational time equals trauma with the added bonus of predisposition due to military training.

[Jim]

Evie, I do want to point out a cold truth though,

Thank you for saying this Anthony. Its extremely painful to think about, but she did need telling.

Welcome son! Understand all your thoughts on Brian, as they are my thoughts. No worries about your anger. We are all dealing with this in unique ways - Evies way is making me want to strangle her at the moment - however. Glad to see you here.

Dad.

[batgirl]

Uncle, Auntie, Travis, I'm sorry for my recent behaviour. It really hurts to admit it, but I know I could easily end up exactly like Brian. It was selfish of me to not consider any of your feelings, or the repercussions. Thank you Anthony for pointing it out to me.

[Jim]

Yes Evie, please do realize you are not the only one with feelings. Everytime you do stupid shit as Anthony so aptly put it, you might as well be stabbing me in the heart, as that is the level of pain it causes. And should you succeed in that final act, well my dear, not sure this old soldier would feel much like continuing on with his own life, quite frankly.

Uncle Jim.

[batgirl]

I'm sorry Uncle... I feel so badly, I won't do it again. And sorry Travis for taking over your thread.

[cookie]

hey travis, welcome to the forum.

[Sapper]

Anthony -

Hey thanks for the welcome and the explanation of PTSD. Makes good sense. Splendid forum here, scads of information, looking forward to being active on it. And you as well cookie, thanks for the welcome.

Evie -

Mum and Dad were worried senseless when you ran off, and considering all that they are going through right now, that pisses me off. I could strangle you myself. This thread being hijacked is a not a problem for me at all if you read whats written here and honestly take it to heart. It might seem like a huge responsibility, and I know your scared shitless and think your not important, but you have more power than you realize. You have the power to ease a lot of the suffering in our family Evie, just by doing what your supposed to and not giving up. I believe you have the ability to do it too, provided you get your head out of your ass and quit feeling so goddamn sorry for yourself. Like Dad said the rest of us have feelings as well. You are not the only one who misses Brian. That being said, I still think your doing really well, you just need to keep going. I accept your apology, please continue to do the right thing. I for one have confidence in you.

[Kathy]

So good to see you here Sweetie, welcome. I hope you derive some comfort from the forum.