Post Move Depression?

[Grama-Herc]

Seems that today I have been hit squarely between the eyes with a nice case of depression. I take meds for this and AM taking them as prescribed. But today I seem to be depressed. I recently moved and I am finally beginning to see the floor as the boxes get emptied and thrown out.

Things are starting to return to normal--what ever that is!
So why all of a sudden do I feel so down and sad and blue and lost and very numb? That one is the scary one. The numb part. Not use to that one. This has me somewhat scared, hell it has me really frightened!

Been packing and moving, etc. since the middle of April and now it is done, almost. Is this just the final--AUGH!!!! Am I just simply able to relax and let the stress go? Input people! Input PLEASE:dontknow:

[She Cat]

hhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm,

You have been busy for 5 months, you have packed, moved, relocated, unpacked, and now are box free.

1) You have been to damn busy to notice the depression.
2) being busy has kept the depression away.
3) you have participated in life, by doing something proactive.
4) you are depressed because you feel that there is nothing more for you to do.

Sometimes even positive things can cause reverse feelings. Sit down and figure out what's really eating at you, and work from there.

PS....Are you happy with the situation that you have moved into???

Wen

[Marlene]

Herc,

This has been the center of your world for months now. You've fussed, fretted, and have been worried about the move, the combining of two households and what it would mean in your life.

Maybe now that the busyness is over, the real dealing has begun. You've moved (stressful), you've moved in with your mother (stressful), you did about 99% of the work and worry with everything involved with this yourself (stressful), during all of this you had to put your cat to sleep (stressful). Plus other things we've talked about off of the forum.

Honey...you've been carrying a big ol' load for quite a while now! We both know when the stress comes off, the symptoms tend to come out. Doing a lot of work keeps us too busy to deal with stress. Guess what? You're not busy anymore. Your body and mind are telling you it's time to deal with what you've put off.

Take some quiet time, be gentle to yourself, pamper yourself. You've put in quite a fight to get you and your mom into one house. Just reading about you stripping and painting dressers made me tired. And I was only reading about it! Sorry to quote the big McD...but you deserve a break.

Lisa

[anthony]

Your life has been smothered with moving, and you have engulfed yourself smack bang within it. When we do that, a more familiar name is workaholism. That covers both short and long term work efforts, ie. someone lives for nothing other than work, or when you start something it consumes you until you finish it. Workaholism... a way in which we can forget about lifes issues, our own feelings, and concentrate on something less important than ourselves. Always comes back to bite you on the arse unfortunately... near guaranteed with PTSD in toe.

Take a rest IMHO, have a break, get out of the house and meet people, do something that makes you exercise, even if only a little.

[Grama-Herc]

I can find no words to express my thanks for the right on responses from you 3 guys. This one has brought tears to my eyes. It has allowed me to sit back and cry. It has allowed me to mourn the loss of my kitty. I plan on doing nothing but pampering myself and allowing the tears to flow (which is the best emotional release) as soon as I get done with all of my Mom's appointments today(Thursday). I need a small breakdown, I've earned a small breakdown and quite frankly, I'm looking forward to a small breakdown. Can I spend my breakdown in bed, or do I have to stay somewhat together?

I know that I had decided to start sheltering kittens again, but it has become extremely apparent to me that Mom is going to use up that available time. I must admit that I forgot just how much work was really involved with the kittens. This has made me a little sad too, cuz I do enjoy sheltering, but, alas, I just can't do it anymore.

I just seem to sit and stare at this screen sometimes. No thoughts, no ideas, no desires or interests. Guess I AM depressed. OK, well, this to shall pass. I know what it is and how to handle it so wish me luck, stay in touch and I will keep you posted

Most of all THANX guys. I do need you and when I do you are there

[Grama-Herc]

Hey She Cat!

To answer the question of am I happy with the situation I moved into--I am very happy and please with it. I had no idea what a comfort it would be to me. Actually it is a stress relief to have my mom with me, rather than a burden. I don't worry about her anymore. To be selfish about it, I feel safer and more secure too. So YES this was the best thing to happen to me--to us--ever.

[She Cat]

Hey Herc,


I am very happy that having your mom close to you, causes you less stress.......Whatever we can do to get rid of stress in my book is A OK!!!!!!!!

Now go have a MINI breakdown....Then it's back to work at chipping away at the beast of PTSD!!!!!!

Wen

[Grama-Herc]

She Cat. Never heard our PTSD referred to as a beast. Sounds like a good description to me. I wonder what this beast looks like. I would prefer a pleasant appearance since the disease is so ugly. RIGHT! Anyway, the MINI breakdwon never happened. Shed a tear or 2 while tellin g my Mom to expect the brekdown but then nothing happened. Rather dissappointing I feel. Oh well, it will sneak up on me when I least expect it as usual. One thing you can say about having PTSD in your life is things are never dull.

[She Cat]

Hey Herc,

I would think that no meltdown is a good sign......That you are handling things better maybe......

Weird that you have never heard of PTSD being called the beast.......I usually refer to it as such, others I know do too. hhhhhhmmmmmm It looks like a gargoyle, with horns, and it breathes fire......Spiny tail with sharp point at the end of it, similar to an arrow....Get the picture??? Not nice!!!!!!

I hope things are still going ok with you...

Wen

[Portabella]

Herc, I hope all is well and you are taking extra special care of you!!!!!

[Grama-Herc]

I thank you guys for your concern, truely! I have put my finger on the cause of my shity mood and depression. Prior to moving my Mom in with me, I guess I saw her as the vital, healthy and mentally alert woman I knew. I now see her as she truely is. As much as I love her this has been a wake up call--she is 83 years old!! It has scared me and depressed me. My "Mom" is my rock and she IS NOT suppose to crumble. She is my "Mom". She is the one who is suppose to see that I am OK. This has been a shock to me and my system and I've been thrown into a tail spin for sure. This is the 1st step, right? Recognizing the problem! Now I can deal with it, I think. Man this is hard. I mean really hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[She Cat]

Herc,

What I think a lot of us come to realize later on in life.....Is that things change, and it's hard to accept. You're right,,,,,,,, We believe that our parents will always be there for us, strong, and ever loving rocks that they have always been.... Then we wake up one day, and suddenly they are older, frailer, weaker, and vulnerable. The roles have changed and we become the parent, they the child, we take care of them, and they become child like in many aspects.....

Yes, it's a wake up call, one that sometimes is very hard to swallow. One that all of us must face in our life time......

You recognize your problem, and now is the hard part. You have to find a way to deal with not only your mom and her aging, but your own demons that haunt you too.... You will need support, and time for you too.....Vent, vent , vent....

Wendy

[2quilt]

We are here, Herc! Tell us what is going on.

[Grama-Herc]

Well guys, it has been a while since I've posted on my own post. Guess it is time. I am still adjusting to the aging process my mom is going through. I am still depressed. I am still extremely freightened to see my mom growing old and forgetful and frail. This is not what I expected when I said we should move in together. It has shaken my world to it's very core--to say the least. I'm not exactly sure what I expected but it certainly was not this. I am in a constant and repeaticious panic attack and the anxiety level has risen to an extreme level. I'm in control,(or I think I am),I'm taking my meds and I'm very aware of exactly what is happening to me. I don't like it, but I'm riding out this "cluster storm" so to speak and as long as I keep venting these feelings from my soul, I should be ok. I've learned that keeping this stuff inside is very unhealthy and extremely counterproductive to my well being and I've learned---Oh God what have I learned??? I'm in the middle of a small downward spiral and I don't like it. Last evening mom and I had a good heart to heart and got alot of things cleared up and we were able to talk about why I'm stressing and such. Hopefully, I will relax somewhat over the weekend now that we understand some of the things I was OCDing over. So anyway, guess that's all the venting my nerves can take right now

PS if there are any words that look weird that is because my "A" is broken Sorry

[She Cat]

Herc,

Try and have a good weekend......Yes what you are going through is so hard....Try and take some time for you even if only a few minutes everyday, read a few pages in a good book, sit outside and just look at the sky, or whatever you like to do. Just try and take the time.

Your A's look fine......LOL

Wen

[Grama-Herc]

Hey She! Funny you should mention taking time to "Smell the roses". I was fixing up my new balcony when mom asked if I could go get her some of the same plants for her patio. I got to go out shopping without feeling guilty. I got to spend her money for fun and then come home and dig in the dirt and plants and flowers. Felt good! I just really need to ease up on myself and relax. While that is easier said than done, I'll still give the ole college try! But I'm extremely fragile right now and trying to go it alone is rough!!! Today I saw another bit of mom slip away. I asked her to fix me some of her good meatloaf and she could not remember how to fix it. This was her "specialty" Makes me sad to see her slipping. I say nothing to her about this because it is my issue--NOT HERS. I really appreciate you listening to my venting THANX

[She Cat]

Hey Herc,

Please don't ever thank me for listening, and being there. I want to. OK????

As for your mom... I work for some elderly, have worked for others, and I also had my grandfather that lived with us when I was younger. I do know how you feel. It's so hard, and it will get harder.

Is your mom on any meds for this yet??? Aricept? Namenda? These are two of the newer drugs they use for Dementia. They won't cure, but the help slow things down a bit.

I hope that you got passed the Meatloaf problem by offering to help her make it. Even if you didn't know how, it kind of takes the pressure off her to remember. It may be hard on you, but they too understand their lack of memory, and it's so frustrating for her too.

Plants are so cool. I'm glad that it got you out, and into the dirt. LOL!!!! My apartment looks like a jungle minus the monkeys........

Take care Herc......I am sending warm soft hugs for you and mom...

Wen

[Grama-Herc]

Hey Wen. Thanx, again! I've been meaning to ask you---Do you have any cats? With your "She Cat" you MUST have cats?

As for Mom--good days and bad days and some fairly decent meatloaf for dinner. And you are so right about it being hard on her. She gets so upset and tries to hide it from me by joking. But I see it upsets her when the "blanks" occur. So I make jokes to her jokes and then we move on. I have not spoken to her doctor about this, scared of the truth I guess. I know I have to, just scared. But, I know I have to address it with him and deal with it myself. Baby steps----baby steps---meaning ME Till Later Herc

[She Cat]

Hey Herc,

I know how hard it is, and yes denial is a good thing at times, but if you can bring this info up to her Dr the meds will help to slow the process a little bit. You're right baby steps hon......

Cats???? Nope allergic to them now. The name comes from my anger issue. LOL!!! Now figure that one out. When I was very little I had an anger issue, and my grandfather told me once that I was so angry, that I was like a She Cat protecting her cubs... The name stuck, and so didn't my anger for many yrs.

Take care Herc........