I Lost Control, Hope Someone's Listening

[Grama-Herc]

Well, it has finally happened! I've lost my temper BIG TIME and got into a cussing-shouting match with one of my neighbors. It is a long drawn out story-- to involved to get into detail. But I lost control. First time since my "breakdown" in 1997. It has me very unsteady and panicky and full of anxiety. I live in an apartment complex and always have! I have never had a problem with any neighbor. But tonight was a real pisser!!!! I was actually screaming at this woman and her grown daughter. Screaming and cussing which really is not me at all. This really has me unnerved. I can't seem to come down from this. It is not any type of high and it is not any type of " boy that was cool"!!! It is unnerving and I'm extremely unsettled. None of my learned techniques is working. Mom ask what she could do or what she should not do in helping me and I could not even offer her an answer except for her to just keep watching her movie

I lost control and I DO NOT like the feeling at all.

[veiled]

I know exactly what you are experiencing, if you catch me online we can chat... Just not up to posting the long drawn out version.

[becvan]

Sorry to hear your having a tough time Herc. It's very unnerving to lose it and frustrating.

I'm glad to hear your acknowledging it. Have you thought of apologizing to the neighbor? Just for your behavior? It goes a long ways in smoothing things over when you acknowledge you were out of line (not sure what the fight was over so not commenting there.)

Also, use this as an opportunity to look at your anger management. At what point did you lose control? Could you feel when you were losing it? Where could you have stepped back and removed yourself from the situation to cool off?

Just some suggestions.

bec

[She Cat]

Hey Herc,

We have all been there done that......Don't beat up on yourself too much. You acknowledged it, and are taking responsibility for your actions.....Good job in my book.

Hang in there...

Wen

[Portabella]

Oh Herc, I sure hope things are better now....(((HUGS)))

[Grama-Herc]

Well guys, thanx for the imput on my "little fit" The com[lex manager is now in the middle of this mess and the pressure is off me. My trigger was when the woman accused me of harrassing her and threatened me with the police and an attorney. As embarrassing as this is, the entire mess was over a Cat. I am responsible for trapping any stray or lose cats on the property as per the complex manager. This idiot keeps letting her cat out and it almost got into 1 of my live traps. She has been warned, given written notice by mgnt and she still presists on letting her cat out. Well, now she say that I am aiming for her cat only and that is harrassment and sher is going to sue me. Could I have kept my cool, probably---but she actually scared me with her threat---it was so sudden and unexpected that I just lost it. I still am very uneasy. I look to see if she is around before I go outside. Her crazy daughter has spoken to me by saying in a very nasty way "Hey, don't look at me!" Can't apologize! Complex manager says to let her handle everything. This nut case has no idea that the manager and I are on a friendlier basis than she is. The manager is on my side, says I did nothing wrong. The nut case has messed with the wrong person. Sounds a little snotty, but just a fact. Still need to settle down from all this, but each day gets a little easier! I am someone who will avoid a confrontation at all costs, so anger management is not an issue but thanx guys. What would we do without eachother

[becvan]

Oh Herc, it sounds like a really shitty situation. One the would trigger me in the same manner. Focus on keeping yourself safe and minimizing anymore triggers that nutty people can throw at you.

Sounds like your handling it just fine under the circumstances.

bec

[She Cat]

Herc,

You're doing great!!!!! Anyone that refuses to live by the rules of the complex, and insist on letting their animal out is the one to blame. I just want to know HOW you are aiming for HER cat??? LOL!!!!! Did you write the name of her cat on the trap???? OMG!!! Some people are just not to be bothered with, she is one of them.....

[Grama-Herc]

Well, I make no promises as to the correctness of this post since Hercules, the Cat, is between me and the key boeard and is under the mistaken im pression that I want to scratch his head!

I have been trapping animals here since 1991 in every little nock and corner of the property. This nut case says I am only putting the trap outside her door, that I do not trap anyplace ellse and therefore this is harrassment. I put traps out when and where I see animals. This includes

[Grama-Herc]

well, Hercules the cat stepped on the button and posted before I was done. As I was saying before I was so rudely interupted, I have caught racoons almost every time I set a trap and the number of stray and sick and injured cats I've caught is several hundred. We are near a small quaint park and the place where the locals go to "DUMP" their unwanted animals. The trash cans odors eventually attract the cat and that's where the manager says "Trap Time'! Resident call her office and complain because they have creatures walking on their cars leaving paw prints and scratches. That is how this insane mess orginally started. Then enters the nut case and I am harrassing her????? But I do go on. Washed clothes last night and I peeked outside first to be sure she was not out there walking her dog. Need to get over that part of this insane mess but otherwise, all is OK Thanx for your imput guys. Keep it up! I need the encouragement

[She Cat]

Herc,

Remember this......You live there too.....This means that you have as much right as the next door neighbor (nut case) to come and go as you please. You don't need to be peeking out the window to make sure she isn't around when you want to leave. You have rights too.......

So hold your head up high, shoulders back and walk out the door, if she speaks to you........My therapist always told me that the quickest way to piss off someone that is trying to PISS you off....Is to ignore them completely....Just act like she isn't even there.....Works every time......

Hugs,

Wendy

[EmoxxKid]

I also have some pretty big issues with my temper...

I have been known to uh...break things...toss things...and um...break some more things..lol...

Not really funny...

Now I have to just calm myself...sometimes it does not work...

Don't balm yourself!....S**t happens.

[Grama-Herc]

Hey Em

Well, I know that s--t happens, but this for me is a realy big deal. I will do practically anything to avoid a confrontation. Now I have this mess to deal with because I am actually afraid of this nut case. I have been really trying to get this oujt of my head but it just keep rolling around in there giving me a really nice HEADACHE!!!!

So on to the deep breathing stuff to calm down and get this nut case out of my brain. I do refuse to let this woman upset me. I will survive Till later HERC

[logan]

i find it the same way one trigger hits another and on it go's
you're good but somthing finely pulls the release back
you've treid good for you
hold back and just vent here

[illuminating_anchor]

so you js feel guilty??

[Grama-Herc]

Now why on earth would you aske me if I feel guilty? What do I have to feel guilty about?

But I do have good news to report. My neighbor and I seem to have made up in a way. There was an incident involving other residents and we (My Neighbor) and I ended up talking while it was going on and we have made up, so to speak. But the tension is gone and no more problems to deal with.

So where did my guilty feeling come into play?????

[veiled]

Please ignore the previous posting herc. This person does not have a lot of postings in the amount of time here and it seems feel under a "grandfather" clause... This type of posting all over is not acceptable trying to make other members feel bad that are here busting their asses to get better.

[Grama-Herc]

Veiled, Thank You for keeping an eye out for us. Can I ask a question? What does it mean when a thread shows an arrow and then dashes like it has been edited out???

[Kathy]

If I may interject since I am reading, I believe you are speaking about a moved thread Herc. Sometimes threads are moved to another more appropriate area of the forum. If you click on the title you will be taken to the thread in its new location.

[Grama-Herc]

Kathy

Thanks for clearing the moved thread issue for me. Now I see