Anonymoose
12-11-2007, 12:15 PM
Last night, I missed the 11:34 pm train by just minutes. I decided to go to a nearby cafe and use the internet for 45 minutes until it was time to go back to the station to catch the train.
I took the elevator to the train platform and arrived there at about 12:20 am. Twice I spoke with a man who I didn't know. He seemed intoxicated and I didn't feel safe with him. He asked me for change, twice, and I refused. Later he came back and asked me what time the train was due to arrive.
I overheard him discussing the impending arrival of the train with another passenger. They both indicated that they saw the lights on the front of the train as it approached. Then the man who spoke to me said that he was going to stand on the tracks. He jumped down onto the tracks and stood facing the train. I was very close to him and I could see his face. He would not be dissuaded from standing there as the train came into the station.
I did notice a change in his facial expression when he realized that the train was coming quickly. He tried to climb back up the side of the platform. I saw his face as he slid back down onto the tracks. He tried to press himself against the side of the platform. I saw the train hit him. I heard him scream and I saw his face as he spiralled three times before his facial expression froze and his voice was silent.
I already have PTSD and this was the last experience that I needed to have at this time of the year. Conveniently, I began taking Zoloft a few weeks ago in response to symptoms that I was having. I am still feeling strange and I don't know what else to do. I'm going to call a social worker who I saw in the past and try to make an appointment for some therapy. I don't know what else to do, though. I'm trying to practice healthy self-care by sleeping enough, eating and drinking (though I don't feel like it), journaling, talking to a hotline counselor, and meditating.
I was so happy to find this forum. There is strength in numbers and it would be great to enjoy some social support during this now-more-difficult time of year.
Thanks!
I took the elevator to the train platform and arrived there at about 12:20 am. Twice I spoke with a man who I didn't know. He seemed intoxicated and I didn't feel safe with him. He asked me for change, twice, and I refused. Later he came back and asked me what time the train was due to arrive.
I overheard him discussing the impending arrival of the train with another passenger. They both indicated that they saw the lights on the front of the train as it approached. Then the man who spoke to me said that he was going to stand on the tracks. He jumped down onto the tracks and stood facing the train. I was very close to him and I could see his face. He would not be dissuaded from standing there as the train came into the station.
I did notice a change in his facial expression when he realized that the train was coming quickly. He tried to climb back up the side of the platform. I saw his face as he slid back down onto the tracks. He tried to press himself against the side of the platform. I saw the train hit him. I heard him scream and I saw his face as he spiralled three times before his facial expression froze and his voice was silent.
I already have PTSD and this was the last experience that I needed to have at this time of the year. Conveniently, I began taking Zoloft a few weeks ago in response to symptoms that I was having. I am still feeling strange and I don't know what else to do. I'm going to call a social worker who I saw in the past and try to make an appointment for some therapy. I don't know what else to do, though. I'm trying to practice healthy self-care by sleeping enough, eating and drinking (though I don't feel like it), journaling, talking to a hotline counselor, and meditating.
I was so happy to find this forum. There is strength in numbers and it would be great to enjoy some social support during this now-more-difficult time of year.
Thanks!