Isolation - Struggling to Meet New Friends

[morgan]

I recently graduated from a ptsd program after being a shut-in for the last two years. Now I'm supposed to make new friends. I did well in the program and all that good stuff but, I still fear having new people in my life. I made a few friends in the program but, those are long distance relationships. So I guess I'm trying this online thing now. I don't really feel ready to go back out there in the world but I know If I don't I'll stay sick. The real problem is, I still like being alone. I think I'm too numb to feel lonely. :wall:

[Seeking_Nirvana]

I like being alone too. I haven't tried to make new friends in a very long time and I have no desire to. I don't feel numb I just don't like conflict with friends; it's a trigger for me to get way to angry.

I think when you are ready to meet new people you will venture out and start meeting them.

Good luck!
Tammy

[baileysemt]

This is something we share in common, very muchly! :)

For me, interaction with others requires an extraordinary amount of energy, to keep myself up and maintain the contact. I have issues with control & helplessness, so I suspect that it might be so stressful and difficult for me because I am not in control of the other person or the interaction; I can only control my physical presence and reactions, I can't control anything else. Again -- just a guess!! -- I don't really know.

Online relationships are much easier for me too. I can login and participate when I feel strong enough. If I am too tired or emotional, I don't have to login right then, I can put it off 'til I'm ready to deal with it. I can participate from the security of my bed in my jammies if I want (thanks to my laptop) and nobody is any wiser for it. If the other person says something I don't like, I can delete it. If they piss me off, I can block them from my server. :) I am in control.

It's not that I don't want my friends to be unique or do their own thing; exactly the opposite is true! They are my friends because we see things and behave similarly; we have many things in common. I understand them, and bless their hearts, they understand me too. :)

What wears me out and frightens me is unpredictability. I hate surprises -- always have. Surprises are NOT fun to me. Although I enjoy having a flexible work schedule, I do not at all like having an abrupt, unannounced change in plans. If I am planning on having a quiet evening, for instance, I get tossed totally off-kilter when something unannounced pops up and disrupts it. If I have prepared for the possibility of something coming up (for instance, I am always prepared for my ambulance pager to go off... it's a contingency I've happily accepted and accommodate) that's fine, but unplanned changes in the status quo are a huge stressor for me.

When I get out and in social settings, I feel like the chance for unplanned changes (surprises) increases tremendously. I have no control of outside surroundings. Noisy places, like a bar, or a restaurant with terrible acoustics, just tells my brain that a surprise is even more likely, and that sets me on edge. It is exhausting to try to maintain my sanctity and composure in that kind of setting.

Sorry this is so long. Thank you for opening this thread though; you really helped me to look inward and pinpoint what it is, exactly, that causes this reaction in me. I really appreciate that. :)

:) Bailey

[logan]

welcome here i'm still nebeie her but have found a lot great info
logan

[TheDeepestScar]

I struggle to meet and create new relationships with people because honestly, I don't know how. I do not know how to talk to people. I'm always afraid that people are going to start to talk about me when I'm not there and say bad things, that they are going to stop talking to me altogether.

Needless to say I am not a people person. If my husband and I go out without the children and it's a social type environment, I tend to hide behind him and not make eye contact with anyone.

I don't know. It's like I prefer being alone cause then no one can hurt me but I hate being lonely. Those are contradicting statements that don't even make sense to me.

[vst]

Close personal friends can be a wonderful gift. When you can find one or two people you can trust (and trust is not easy for me) you feel connected to humanity. Connection with others very hard for people with PTSD.

Friends may break your trust, but that also happens in non-PTSD friendships. We will have panic attacks, but we can fight the panic attacks. I like to win the fight.

I do prefer my own company and can become agoraphobic. Sometimes it is hard, but I make the effort to go out and be social. For me work is a safe place and gives me some self confidence. Work makes me deal with others on a non-personal level.

Take your time and when you are ready to meet others, you will. When you do go out, make a plan and stick to it. I have safety plans for different situations I may run into. Above all, keep yourself safe.

Hugs,

vst

[EmoxxKid]

Hey I added you to my friends list, I sure hope we can speak soon and good job on all the work your doing for yourself dude!

Geneva

[morgan]

thanx for all the feedback and thanx Geneva for adding me to your friends list. I know why I'm scared to make new friends, I've been robbed and betrayed so many times that I don't trust myself to find decent people. In fact I've gone to the other extreme in that I don't believe anything anyone says or does to be true or honorable. I was in fact quite gullible. I refuse to be so now but, I'm having trouble finding the middle ground. All I know to do is try again gradually so I'm starting here where it's relatively safe. thanx again for the feedback. So far so good in that respect.

[hollyberry]

i can relate morgan, its so hard too meet new people. i can also relate to being gullible. think everone is telling the truth, have a real hard time figuring out if someones lieing to me. most of friends I had in area think I'm too needy. Been trying to meet some by posting, a few have responded but not many. makes me wonder if I'm to needy here too. But got to remember that everyone here has got this same thing I have and I might trigger their shit. Healthy ones went back and got their lives back and check in once in awhile. they probably see so many newbies come and go and don't want to get attached to someone else thats just going to disapear. so hang in there maybe all of us newbies can be each others support.

[ovation228]

I'm trying to make new friends, but I don't really know the area since I'm relatively new here. Where do you go to meet people in a big city and its suburbs? I try to meet people in my work, but I'm a contractor and haven't been in the same office more than 6 months.

I am really afraid that the people I meet will get the wrong impression from me if I withdraw from the world every now and then. I've also got the weight of having failed in my marriage. I doubt my capability to have a working relationship on any level with anyone.

Talking to people online is definitely easier and has many advantages for people in our situation, but my therapist says I need more real life interaction.

I wish you the best in making new friends. It's definitely easier said than done.

[becvan]

Healthy ones went back and got their lives back and check in once in awhile. they probably see so many newbies come and go and don't want to get attached to someone else thats just going to disapear. so hang in there maybe all of us newbies can be each others support.

Who with PTSD is now healthy and just left to get their lives back?

We all support each other. It is not the newbies vs. the old ones. This is not a divide and conquer game. People get busy, people get sick. We post and support as we can. Please do not judge others just because your not getting the amount of responses that you want.

bec

[Kathy]

I agree Bec. Additionally, whilst people do make friends upon this forum, this is not a friendship forum as far as I'm aware. Its purpose is support and education, it is not something along the lines of MySpace or Facebook and should not be treated as such.

[batgirl]

I wasn't going to say anything about this but since others have I feel brave and I will. If I say anything wrong go ahead and edit, but I really feel like I have to say this . Hollyberry, I think it's really rude of you to just come to this forum and expect everyone to bend over backwards, drop everything basically and pay attention to you. Like Bec said it has nothing to do with being a new member or an old member. People have lives, and this is a PTSD support forum, not a Hollyberry support forum. Yes I have made friends on this forum, but I've been here over a year, and I never expected to make any friends at all. I came here because I was fed up with not dealing with my PTSD. I wanted to learn some tools to heal and manage my life. Honestly I couldn't have cared less if I made friends or not. Friends happened eventually, and it was just a nice bonus.

I have serious issues with trust. When I first came here, I didn't even register for a whole month. I just lurked and read. When I finally did register and post, I was still really cautious. People here were strangers to me, and I don't trust strangers. I have learned to trust some people on this forum but it has taken a while and I still have major issues with trust. I think lots of others here do too. Let's face it, you are new here, and since this is the internet, people don't really know who you are. You can't expect everyone to just jump into being friends with you overnight, they have to get to know you. In the past I had bad judgement on here and became friends with certain members too quickly, got hurt and really regretted not being more careful. I think a lot of people feel the same way. And if you really want to make friends, pushing yourself on others and basically demanding attention is not going to work. That just turns people off, people will end up avoiding you.

[hollyberry]

ok I deserved that, but have found peace today and I'm not going to let what you are saying to me run me off. I'm truly sorry that I have pushed myself on all of you as you say. I have been really needy this past week. and I am sorry. I have done better today, been writting in my journal and leaving all of you alone. don't think I've pushed myself on you today. I am truly sorry. Hope you all can forgive me

[morgan]

I'm not as quick to make assumptions as I used to be but, I'm gonna go ahead and assume that was all for hollyberry and not about me trying to make friends. Just to be clear though, my motives were to stick my toe in the water and try some form of human interaction. All that I just read was true but a little to harsh for me. I'm glad it wasn't about me. I'm way too sensitive for all that. Some people just don't know how to reach out, ya know. Being needy sucks. My meds have done wonders for me in that department. maybe Hollyberry needs her meds adjusted. Just a suggestion. I hope she's getting the help she needs. That's one thing I do have going for me. LOTS and LOTS of HELP. Good luck hollyberry. I wish you well.

[hollyberry]

thanks morgan

[batgirl]

Morgan, I apologize for hijacking your thread and saying the things I did in here. I was wrong to do that. This is your thread and I should have stayed out of it. The statement that Bec quoted really hurt me and when I am hurt I get aggressive. Not an excuse though for how I behaved, just an explanation. I need to work harder on stepping back and not reacting when people post something that bothers me. Anyways I am very sorry and I am going to be a lot more careful in what I post in general until I am feeling more well again.

[becvan]

Morgan.

Your doing great at reaching out and trying to interact. I agree that we all have to start somewhere and get our toes wet. Just remember it takes time to make friends.

I won't speak for the others. I quoted whom I was speaking to and made the correction to the thinking presented. Plain and simple.

Your doing great, keep it up!

bec

[EmoxxKid]

Hey Morgan add me back if you want so we can chat;)

[morgan]

Hey Morgan add me back if you want so we can chat;)
I really don't know how to do computer stuff. This is all pretty new to me. sorry but I'll try to figure it out.:dontknow::crazy:

[baileysemt]

I'm trying to make new friends, but I don't really know the area since I'm relatively new here. Where do you go to meet people in a big city and its suburbs? I try to meet people in my work, but I'm a contractor and haven't been in the same office more than 6 months.

I am really afraid that the people I meet will get the wrong impression from me if I withdraw from the world every now and then. I've also got the weight of having failed in my marriage. I doubt my capability to have a working relationship on any level with anyone.

How about church? :) If you don't have a church, pick one. Go and talk to the pastor. Explain what you are struggling with. Explain that while you don't want to be treated as "the needy child," you are there to meet people in a somewhat safer environment, and maybe find some guidance for your heart.

I am not a church girl myself, but only because I live in a teeny-tiny town and I feel like I am under the microscope at church. When I lived in the city, I was more anonymous there, so going to church was much easier. People knew me, of course, but it wasn't like here where everyone knew every time I farted in regular life. *giggle*

Even so, I find incredible warmth and gentleness in religion and faith. I have been putting Christmas music on TV here lately (my TV is always on, it's a security thing) and it is incredibly soothing to me. A couple of months ago I found a the St. Norbert's Abbey in DePere, Wis. which I had heard of before, but never seen... there is this cemetery where all the ministers have been buried, in a semi-circle facing the church... I felt so warm and loved and surrounded by goodness and purity there. It was amazing. I have never felt like that in a cemetery -- EVER. I just felt like all of God's love was being channeled to me in that sacred place, and that no matter how I was broken, I was safe and loved there.

I don't know ....... this just popped into my mind as I read your post. :kiss:

:D Bailey

[morgan]

I have the same problem. One of my options is AA/NA meetings. I must say though, that although there are good people there, there's also a fair share of BS. I'm not strongly inclined to wade through the BS to get to the good. My problem being... who do I believe and who's full of it. I'm not exactly the best judge of character. But that's my dilemma. Yours may be very different. you probably don't even have a drug problem for all I know. just an idea If you do. Also, my therapist suggests community programs or volunteering. I'm not as afraid of those options for some reason. Good luck whatever you decide.

[just tina]

True friends are hard for anyone to find and keep. I've been looking for another word to use. I have one good friend, and would like to find intellectually stimulating and interesting people to socialize with, now and then.

Do people really go out and "find friends"? That makes about as much sense to me as saying, "You need to go out and find a husband?" Doesn't it take some time to develop a friendship? Wouldn't it be enough to meet people, mingle a little, and not try to get close for the sake of getting close?

[morgan]

I'm glad you brought this thread back up, as this is my main struggle right now. I don't think it's common to "go out and find friends," but since my PTSD has gotten so bad that I've totally cut myself off from the rest of the world, that is exactly what I find myself needing to do. All of my friends are long distance from me and I have no social life whatsoever, so my therapist would like to see me develop one. I, on the other hand, would be perfectly content to live the remainder of my life as it is. I'm 40 years old and live with my parents. This is not a realistic goal, however and I must set my sights a little higher for my future. I need to try to connect with the rest of the world and move out on my own. I can't expect my parents to take care of me forever. So, one thing at a time and first things first... I gotta go out and make new friends. (The fact of the matter is though, it looks like I'll be moving out on my own first).:dontknow:

[just tina]

Moving out on your own, might put you in the paths of people you might enjoy spending some time together. Do you have any hobbies that would lend themselves to a club or meeting place? Like drinking coffee? Ran out of thoughts.

You could probably make a list of your interests. A reading club? Something light. Volunteer work? Even if you go to the same cafe every week at the same time, on the same day, you're likely to start recognizing people.

I want to start a new social life myself. Just light stuff. Let things unfold. No pressure.

[sally]

hi it's hard to make new freind even with out haveing ptsd. i find my animals are very good freind but through them i've met other animal people who were willing to reach out to me. and trying to help some one else is a nice way to make freinds try the senior center or reading to the vets in the vet home or just listening to a shut-in in a nurseing home. then lives not so scarey when you met some-one worse off that you
sally

[baileysemt]

Volunteering at a senior center or nursing home is an awesome suggestion.

You will have to swallow your hesitation/fear at actually walking in the door, introducing yourself to the staff, and filling out volunteer paperwork. I promise you, that is the hard part :) and it is hard for everybody, because no matter who you are, you are nervous about starting something new, and "what will they think of me?" -- of course, those are natural feelings. Just pony up all your courage, take a deep breath and DO IT. :)

The seniors are soooooo worth it. Seniors are just fabulous. They have seen and done so much, they have so many wonderful stories to tell. They are the best people to hold hands with. :) They are sensitive, and they love to hear about our stories, and offer advice... think about it, they are stuck in this home/center 24/7 now, and many of them are never visited by family. By sharing your life with them, you add color and variety to their lives, and you give them the chance to help and feel important. It is very much a two-way street. You are empowering them and making them feel good by giving them the chance to listen and support you. They want to feel that way too.

As you read, assist with activities, assist with dinner, whatever!!, you will get to know these sweet ladies and gentlemen, and you will develop friendships.

Of course there are a few grouchy ones *giggle* but one of my favorite seniors was the head grouch. She had the prettiest cat. Once she figured out that I was not going to be put off by her cussing, and that I understood how special her kitty was (both on his own, and how much he meant to her) then she and I got along just fine. She still cussed a blue streak and was brash as could be :) but it wasn't directed at me personally, LOL. And even if it was, I gently called her on it, and she'd be like 'oh, never mind me' with a little grin curling her mouth. She was one FUNNY lady.

The hard part is, they are seniors ... they die. They are with us one day, and then you go the next day and they are gone. It is a sad thing. My brash lady, I lost her this past summer. She was so vibrant and full of life, I had a hard time understanding why she died? She wasn't even sick. Well, she blew a brain aneurism, and was gone within like 36 hours. I didn't find out until several days later. So this is the down-side to befriending seniors... sometimes they are with us for a long time, but you must learn to accept as they did long ago, that their time is probably going to be up soon, and when that time comes, it is their time. They've gone home, to be with their family and their Savior forever. That is the grand design, the big plan.

I don't want to throw a sad light on this, but if you have issues with death (or even if you don't) there is going to be some heartbreak here. Sadness is a normal human emotion and a normal experience.

I will say this though... my richest and most colorful, joyful experiences have been with seniors. When I think back to the moments where I felt the most enriched, loved, appreciated, educated ... they are all moments I was talking to a senior. Their smiles and sweet, gentle eyes will melt your heart. They are the most sincere people you will ever meet. They are gentle and safe.

Dang, now I want to go run over to the senior center and sign up. LOL !!! :)

:) Bailey

[morgan]

Unfortunately, I'm struggling with fear of people and public places right now. Just going to the grocery store is a big deal for me. I'm constantly fighting this fear to go anywhere, so I'm trying to connect here on this forum with people who understand. That too has been a struggle. I can relate to so many people here and feel for them and what they're going through, but I never know what to say... and what I do say, I regret later as if I said the wrong thing. I only have one good suggestion for anyone and I used it all up. I learned a lot of tools to help myself with, but I don't know how to share them all. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel totally inadequate to communicate. It's a really lonely feeling. Ya know? Thanks for the suggestions though... I'd try 'em if I wasn't frozen in fear.:dontknow:

[sally]

hi I'm sally
I very afraid to make new freinds right now and thats not me I was a very happy-go-lucky person. but I reached out to old freinds and one I haven't seen for years steped up. her husband had been robbed and beated years ago. SO sometimes freinds have a very special knowlege that can surprize you.just reach out you made the first step here
wishing you the best
sally

[Grama-Herc]

Morgan

As someone with trust issues and agoraphobia I completely understand you and how you feel. My therapist says that I am actually afraid of people. I did find, however, a way to get myself out of the house, expose myself to others and finally made a couple of casual friends. I volunteered at a local animal rescue group and became a shelter home for orphan kittens. They also need folks to pet and walk dogs, clean cages, whatever. When the kittens needed supplies I had to go to the shelter and deal with people.

I have finally discovered that the main reason I fear leaving the house. I don't know what might happen to me. If, and I emphasize the IF, I go out to meet someone or make plans--LOL--like I'm actually gonna go, I have to drive. I can not go with someone else. I can not handle not being able to leave if I want to.

But in my opinion the most difficult part of making new friends is knowing that sooner or later I-you- will have to explain to them that sometimes there is a problem. I can not bear people saying the usual" Oh come on, it will be fun". I don't handle and won't put up with people pushing me to participate.

So I do know what it is like. Right now I have -O- people in my life. They just got to close and I could not explain my troubles in the right words to make them understand.

It is hard. Slow and steady is a good way to start. Besides who says we have to have friends and people around all the time.

Don't know if the pet rescue idea will help, but it worked for me. Good luck and know I am thinking about you and hoping for the result you are looking for.

[morgan]

Thanx Grama herc. You hit the nail right on the head. That is exactly how I feel!
I've actually called the animal shelter (months ago) and they never called me back so I just gave up. Guess I could try again though. It seems to me that it would be the most rewarding and least stressful form of volunteer work. If I could just get past this damned fear! These posts do help though. It sort of makes me want to get past it. Unfortunately it also seems to bring my fears right up to the surface. At any rate, I appreciate the support from all of you and I don't feel so alone anymore.
Thanx again, Morgan

[Grama-Herc]

Morgan

As hard as that 1st step is---go for it. For some reason, helping the animals helps relieve a lot of the stress. I was amazed at what a reaction my system had to the animals and their need for my help. I guess focusing on them keeps the mind from freaking out. But what ever it is, it works!

I can't help shelter any more and I miss it, a lot. I was mommy to the newborn orphan kittens---bottle babies---did not get much sleep but it sure was rewarding and very theraputic. I wish you the best

[morgan]

I saw this thread suggested by Anthony in another thread, read through it and thought I'd give an update.

It's funny, I didn't think I was ever gonna make any friends at that time. I never did volunteer at the animal shelter but, I did start group therapy. I've exchanged phone numbers and am actually calling one member of the group and I plan on getting a couple of other numbers and using them this week.

I am slowly expanding my list of acquaintances one person at a time. The best part though is that they all have PTSD so they already understand me and what I GO THROUGH. (Oops I hit the caps button tee hee). I think I'll leave it that way. lol

Anyway, just wanted to let people know that progress is being made! Isn't that great?

Take care, Morgan

PS I forgot to mention that I have also made a couple of friends an this forum also. It really helps me feel comfortable here. :Hug_emoticon: To all.

[She Cat]

Great job Morgan....Baby steps at first and then soon it will be in leaps and bounds.....

[Leda]

After beeing quite ill for the last three years, I´ve recently started working two days a week at our local charity shop. it was stressfull at first, but now it feels ok to get out of my house more often. Since I´m originally a teacher in litterature, I am responsble for the book department - an if I am having a bad day, I can choose to stay in the back room, putting prize tags on books.

[pandora]

That is awesome news Morgan. After my back treatments and then the withdrawal from the meds and then another move, I too plan to get out more and start dealing more with people. I have a few more than before even now...I need to learn to deal with the intense anviety I feel when I think about it and just do it. i am so happy to hear about your progress. Take Care.

[morgan]

Thank you Wendy and Pandora. You are the two friends I was talking about.

[jps]

I agree with easier said than done. I'm still having trouble reestablishing my old friendships! The ones I know I can count on. (well.. I think I can...) If I can just keep from that feeling of waiting for the other shoe to fall...

I've decided to accept that I'm having trouble trusting myself to trust myself to know who I can trust and who I can't.

[morgan]

I recently started to establish a friendship with a fellow sufferer from my group. All of a sudden and out of the blue she stopped taking my phone calls, was rude to me when she did finally answer the phone. She was also rude to me in group when I inquired if she was angry with me. Her words said no but her attitude said yes. I was hurt and confused.

I gave it a few more days then I called her and asked her if she was ready to talk. She said no, I don't want to socialize with anybody outside the group.

Now I ask you WHY? Why did she persue a friendship with me and then suddenly cut me off? PTSD that's why. I've been reading about this type of behavior in the carers section but I never quite got it 'til it happened to me. It stills hurts a great deal but it is her issue not mine.

Now how do I learn to not take it so personally? I just keep reworking it in my head and hopefully the truth will set in.

The worst part is it makes me afraid to reach out again. this fact goes against my recovery plan. I'm still struggling I guess but the trick is not to put up my walls and give up.

Oh well, wish me luck! I guess I'll keep trying despite myself.:dontknow:

take care all, Morgan

[She Cat]

Morgan,


You really do need to remember that her actions are passive aggressive, and it IS her issue and NOT yours.....Keep reaching out to other people to make friendships. Not everyone will be like this. She probably is a very nice person, but just not ready or that far into her healing to make and keep friendships.

I too have been hurt because of someone acting very much like this. It's ok, I understand, and I am giving this person the time that they need. If they never speak to me again, well I guess that's ok too. Their loss......

It's your friends loss too......

[morgan]

Wendy, you always say just the right thing. It is her loss as I make a pretty good friend. I try to be the kind of person I want in a friend. I have one healthy friendship right now and she has confirmed that i am a good friend to her. That helped a lot to slow my roll on the negative "All or Nothing" thinking patterns I get stuck in.

It's just scary ya know. Taking these risks with people. But I don't want to go back into isolation as that is not the solution for me.

Thanx for your input, it was really helpful and true.

Take it easy, Morgan:Hug_emoticon:

[morgan]

So I took another risk with this one person. She was totally drug seeking and used and manipulated me to do it. I was angry.

I've made a decision not to let her do it again. I'm very proud of seeing this before it got too far. YAY for me!

She totally ****ed up with me. I don't ever have to help her again.

Thanx for listening, Morgan

[She Cat]

Sometimes we try again with people that we know are not right for us. I'm not sure if it's lack of friends, so we feel that we should hold on to whom ever we do have or if it's thinking that maybe we can help to change them. It's not wrong to try again, it's probably a good thing that we do. It's just unhealthy if we continue to put ourselves in situations that we KNOW are not good, stay in them and do nothing.

Good job Morgan......Keep focused on you and healthy relationships.....

[FlameTachiku]

Morgan,

I am glad that you are takeing care of yourself and recognizing who may be harmful to you---while being open to new experiences with others.

Best to you!

Flame:Hug_emoticon:

[midi]

this was a good thread to read. i often wondered what was wrong (aside from the fact that i don't get out more than 2 or 3 times a week at the most). in the past, i dumped people, and people dumped me. i thought maybe i was just the intense type and so were they--but i can see how the PTSD affects it.

i can relate to trying to hang with people you really do mesh with, as opposed to people you instinctively know won't work out.

[morgan]

I'm finding that the real struggle is finding and keeping that balance between staying open to new experiences and shutting down because of a couple of bad ones. I am managing to maintain that balance but I do find it difficult. Still it is all about learning and maintaining boundaries isn't it? I'll never learn any other way than to just do it.

Sometimes I say "see! This is why I hate people!" Then I realized that there are a few good ones in there and it's not as bad as my PTSD head thinks it is.

The people I've dealt with on this forum alone prove that, not all people are bad for me. And for that I am thankful.

So, Thanx you guys! Morgan:clap:

[Robyn]

Hi Morgan,

What types of positive things are your interested in? Perhaps if you put yourself in situations that foster that interest, you can connect to others with the same interests. For example: If you like reading, contact your local library to see if they have book clubs that read and discuss the books they read.

If you meet someone on common ground, you may find a friend among them.

Just a thought,
Robyn

[morgan]

So today in group the drug seeker was crying (literally) about the fact that I never call her. I told her two things first that I wasn't thinking about drinking (as in I have had no reason to call). And second that I don't automatically trust people because of my past and my PTSD.

What I didn't say (because we were in group) is that I don't trust her because she asked me for my drugs (barbituates) and that I felt she was drug seeking. That is what I planned on telling her on a more private level. But at one point she finally admitted to asking me for drugs so, I think she got the message anyway.

This was sort of a stressful session for me but, under those circumstances I feel I handled myself very well. My therapist feels I did well too. And once again in group situations I have set the standard. That is a really empowering feeling despite the stress.

Thanx you guys for following this thread. I find your comments and support really helpful.

Take care all, Morgan

[pandora]

Great job standing up for yourself.....