cheezehed
22-11-2007, 08:40 AM
Hi All, glad I found this board. I'm a bit confused as to my diagnosis, depression or PTSD. My doctor mentioned both, could it be both? I have no clue, so a little history...sorry if it gets long.
Air Traffic Controller for many years, and was at the top of my game until the end. Got kudos from fellow controllers, supervisors and managers for my skills. If the radar went out I actually knew where everyone was. Altitudes, call signs, everything.
One day I was in the elevator up to the tower and got a serious panic attack. I felt like I was having a heart attack. I went to work and realized that I had to double check everything I did and everything I said. I was panicked and not comfortable at all. The next day I came to work I began crying and couldn't stop. I went home and never came back.
In a few days I had an appointment with a psychologist. I knew where she was located, but when I drove myself there I got lost. I couldn't even drive a car. I found every descision to be a huge chore. I couldn't decide even the simplest things, and only a few days before had made life/death descisions for hundreds of people at a time.
That was 3 years ago. I have dreams every night (and I mean every night) about my job, or people that I worked with. I don't even know if I care about getting better, but I wish I knew what was wrong with me.
Thanks for listening....sorry about the length...at least I feel comforted that I can chat with ya'll :)
Air Traffic Controller for many years, and was at the top of my game until the end. Got kudos from fellow controllers, supervisors and managers for my skills. If the radar went out I actually knew where everyone was. Altitudes, call signs, everything.
One day I was in the elevator up to the tower and got a serious panic attack. I felt like I was having a heart attack. I went to work and realized that I had to double check everything I did and everything I said. I was panicked and not comfortable at all. The next day I came to work I began crying and couldn't stop. I went home and never came back.
In a few days I had an appointment with a psychologist. I knew where she was located, but when I drove myself there I got lost. I couldn't even drive a car. I found every descision to be a huge chore. I couldn't decide even the simplest things, and only a few days before had made life/death descisions for hundreds of people at a time.
That was 3 years ago. I have dreams every night (and I mean every night) about my job, or people that I worked with. I don't even know if I care about getting better, but I wish I knew what was wrong with me.
Thanks for listening....sorry about the length...at least I feel comforted that I can chat with ya'll :)