Suggestions?

[Sapper]

My little sister is really sick tonight, anxiety.. night terrors, crying and puking.. I'm with her as my parents are away. I know my dad had a thread about this a while back but I can't seem to find it. Any suggestions? I'm just sitting up with her, not sure what else to do if anything.

[hollyberry]

do you know that you can clic on his username and it will bring up items he's written

[Sapper]

Yeah I know that but he has over 500 posts and I looked already. This is an old thread. Probably won't help anyhow. Just hoping for something. I feel kind of clueless.

[2quilt]

That's good advice, HollyBerry!
Just tell her that we are all thinking of her, Sap. I know she is grateful that you are with her. Will she sip on some electrolyte powdered stuff in water so that she doesn't dehydrate? Find her blanket that she sleeps with. I know that putting your knees up can stop you from throwing up, if she feels like sitting that way, but you know, let her do what she wants to do. She may be in pain if she puts her knees up like that. You and Evie have an extended family here, online!

2quilt

[hollyberry]

sorry I'm not much help. I'm new to the forum.

[Sapper]

Sorry didn't mean to be rude. Thanks to both of you for the suggestions. If I wasn't so damn lazy I could go through all of Dad's posts! (; Geez though I'm still trying to wrap my head around how chatting can make her so ill. She has been getting triggered a lot though in the past 2 weeks. Guess she shouldn't have been in the chat today. PTSD sucks.

[2quilt]

Sap, you are not lazy by not wanting to read 400 posts!
Chatting did not make her ill, it was that multiple people contacted her at the same time that, I think, pushed her buttons today.

It's late and we are all tired. I am going to bed. Good luck with Evie tonight, Sap.
I will read this thread tomorrow. tell us how she is.

[hodge]

Sapper, by coincidence I was just reading through some of the threads in the Information section of the forum under Carers. Your mom has written some about dealing with crisis, for example:

- http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread5503.html

- http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread5497.html

I hope this helps. I'm not recalling a thread your father wrote, though perhaps that was before I was here.

Personally, when I feel like that sometimes, well, a lot of times, I want to be alone (cause I don't to drag my husband down), but I also know it's important to not be totally alone, to feel his presence, and know he's there. It helps me if he calmly but attentively lets me know he's concerned, is there if I want to talk, hold me if I want, ask me if there's anything he can get me. And if I do insist on being alone, I feel safe when he checks on me every 20-30 minutes or so. Of course, we're all individuals. I don't know if any of this would help Evie. But you might ask her.

Also, for the sake of your own well-being, remember that you can't fix this and make it go away. I know that just your being there is making a world of difference for Evie.

Hang in there, Sapper. I know how tough these times are. Sending you both my love.

[kers]

Sitting with her will help, I suspect. Also reminding her that your parents will be back at the end of the weekend. Having both of them away at once, on top of everything else, is probably just straining her.

Keep the lights on, and as long as she's awake, I think talking in a quiet, soothing voice is really helpful. I never remember what people say when I'm in the middle of a meltdown, but their voice is really important in helping me calm down. It's the connection that can help her through this--knowing that someone safe is there even while she's in a rotten place.

You're a good brother.

[Sapper]

Thanks again, great suggestions.. going to try some tonight if I need to.. I'm beat and turning the computer off. Not sure I'll be able to come back on tomorrow morning, but my parents will be back home by noon. I'm sure they'll update anyone who wants. They make this look so damn easy. I think Evie's okay for a while.. maybe she'll sleep soon. I remembered the original Star Trek calms her so I set the DVD player by her bed. She's hanging with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock now..

[hodge]

I'm glad to hear things have calmed down. Also glad your folks will be home that early tomorrow. Sounds like you did just great, Sapper.

[Nicolette]

You're doing a great job Travis... just being there must help :)

[Kathy]

I think you did wonderfully well Travis, thank you for staying with her and being such a good brother! :kiss:

Since Travis has returned to the base, I will update all of you. Evie is calmer today, though still not terribly well. We are encouraging her to stay off the forum for a time as it seems to be triggering her quite badly at the moment.

[txmomof3]

You are a great brother Travis. I am so sorry to hear that Evie is having a hard time right now. My prayers are with you and your family.

[2quilt]

Yes, Travis, you did a wonderful job of caring for Evie and getting her through the weekend! I am certain the whole family is thankful to you for your help and hard work.

[anthony]

Travis, just being with her is enough mate. You will be quite surprised just how much Evie knows herself; and to be perfectly honest, when Evie gets sick she must recognise and be coaxed to remember what she knows and begin working through her current state to come out of it herself. Nothing another does will get a sufferer out of a depressive or ill state, being positive that is. If a person was being negative around the sufferer then that person should simply remove themselves from their presence as the negativity would certainly not help them.

Basically though mate, you need to give her a kick in the arse when ill to recognise what is going on within herself. She must identify what is wrong, because without her knowing herself, the problem can never be truly fixed or worked through.

[Jim]

Basically though mate, you need to give her a kick in the arse when ill to recognise what is going on within herself. She must identify what is wrong, because without her knowing herself, the problem can never be truly fixed or worked through.

Thank you for saying so. My sentiments exactly.

Jim.

[anthony]

Welcome Jim... great minds think alike :)

Sensitivity just doesn't work with PTSD.... it just doesn't work at all. When everything goes down for a sufferer that is one time they need firm but fair around them, to motivate them out of the state to atleast begin looking at the truth, the reason why they feel like they do, what they feel at that time and so forth. Just doing nothing is not effective. If going to sleep helps, then that is good, but if a person is not sleeping and becoming self destructive or suicidal, they need immediate motivation to the truth.

[Jim]

Yep, not big on sensitivity myself. Doesn't work, especially when negative thinking is the main problem. And. Not to boast - however. She's suddenly much improved since I came home and spoke to her. What does that tell you? ;-)

Jim.

[becvan]

*grins*

She missed her Dad?

bec

[Jim]

Well. That too I suppose. ;-)

Jim.

[anthony]

Yep, she needs firmness... absolutely agreed. I know I need it when ill, otherwise I will run all over those around me and only making myself worse for it. Learnt that one long ago.

[Kathy]

Travis still has difficulties as he finds her so cute. :rolleyes:

I do agree as well though Anthony. I am also quite firm with her. It truly does work best for all concerned,. Yes, she did miss us this weekend, however there was much more to it than that. She was reverting to a negative pattern once more, and she needed to be brought out of it, the sooner the better. By firmness we are certainly not yelling, criticizing nor berating her. Simply we remind her what she was upset about in the first place and ask a few leading questions, which gets her thinking about things more clearly. At that point she usually realizes what she's doing and her attitude improves. I am not certain if this is generally true for others, however in Evie's case, I believe she forgets what she's learned, due to being overwhelmed with her current emotional state. A reminder is generally all she needs and once reminded she resumes working upon herself.

[anthony]

Exactly Kathy, well said once again.

Regarding the forgetfulness issue, that is not exclusive to Evie. The overwhelming anxiety that is thrust upon a sufferer often limits the brains ability to find information readily, hence another term being stressed. Those without PTSD can forget easily information when stressed, though when you expand this three fold or more due to the nature and size of stress from PTSD, finding information within the brain can be a daunting task.

This is why when anxiety prevails a sufferer must retreat if overwhelmed, they must use relaxation first and foremost, or something that they can do to relax. This immediately relieves the stress upon the brain, which allows them access to the information more readily. The problem here is often pride, in that we may do bad things, say bad things due to a lack of ability to access the information within our brain, however; we then build another realm of problems from guilt. These are all learning issues and one's in which must be learnt individually.

What you do is correct, in that you prompt Evie to the point of what occurred at which point she can then choose to acknowledge what is going on and then discuss the problems and feelings associated. Your method is what all carers should use compared to other more aggressive manners. Firm but fair is needed to deal with a sufferer though more importantly, to get the sufferer dealing with themselves at times.

Travis will learn.... just as we all do dealing with PTSD.

Well done though Travis just for being with Evie during her ordeal.... just being their is the right thing to do.

[Awakening]

however in Evie's case, I believe she forgets what she's learned, due to being overwhelmed with her current emotional state. A reminder is generally all she needs and once reminded she resumes working upon herself.

So glad this is raised as I also have this problem remembering the 'techniques' I've been taught or utilising the resources I know I have. It's very frustrating and I feel like I'm going round in circles.

I'm sorry Evie is having a tough time of it. Hope you are feeling better soon Evie.

[2quilt]

You know what I would like all of you more knowledgeable people to do? I would like you to make up a sticky on how to handle someone with PTSD. Ya know, like you were just discussing in this thread about firmness and leading questions and not being too sensitive on the person. All of you "Super Carers" and "Super Moderators" and "Super Gurus" (I am being humourous here) among us here who know what you are doing should share your expertise, please. I would just love to know how to better handle a situation when I have to deal with someone else who has PTSD, or give tips to my Darling Husband on how to handle me when I get symptomatic and he lets me get away with too much crap. Even if you only have a list of what NOT to do, I appreciate that.

[Kathy]

Oh dear not another sticky. :rolleyes: There are so many in the Carers forum at the moment!

Seriously 2quilt, if you have any specific ideas for topics I could certainly attempt to write something in future, I'm certain others could as well. I would welcome a suggestion for a topic. We do already have several articles in the Carers forum and also in the Carers information section, so off the top of my head I can't think of anything to add.

[hollyberry]

i wish someone explain multipersonalities

[anthony]

Why would you want to know about multiple personalities? It is a rare disorder to begin with, those who actually have it do not remember the other personalities typically, and generally those diagnosed with it are in hospital permanently or jail.

People try and fake having it, and those who do are very easily found because they try and reference the other personality. I had one person come here stating they had it, registered multiple usernames here, stating it was their different personalities. Under such circumstances multiple personalities would not do that to begin with, as one personality is very different to the other, even typically totally different lifestyle, attitude, everything. A person with multiple personalities would never be known here as you would only ever know one personality, being the one who has PTSD or believes they have PTSD. You would never know it here.

Multiple personalities is not PTSD related either, so its not a topic of discussion here. There are forums already that would exist for such issues.

[hollyberry]

because I don't understand what is happening to me

[anthony]

Who said you have multiple personality disorder? PTSD is often confused with the feeling of such multiple personalities, though far far from it. You need to research that topic then as its not of relevance to PTSD, hence we do not cover it here.

[hollyberry]

please read the thread that was wierd, therapist has said disassociation. Have felt so much today

[anthony]

Travis, I hope this post helps you: Evie's admission (http://www.ptsdforum.org/49567-post179.html). Well done Evie.... and don't worry Travis, you are not supposed to know what Jim and Kathy have had to learn because they deal with Evie daily. It takes quite some time, a lot of reading and experience day to day. Don't feel bad, you did what you knew and that was the right thing to do for your knowledge.

[Nicolette]

Travis, I live with Anthony every day and I still have lots to learn :wink:

[Sapper]

Hey thanks all. Back visiting the folks again today. Always forget to come on here when I'm at home, so busy with my kids and work and all. Anthony thanks, Evie rung me up the other night, fessed up and apologized so it's all good. To be honest I think I knew she was playing me but Mum is right, I do find her cute and kinda hard to resist. (; I had Evie up north with me for a few days, she was homesick then but nothing like this weekend. This weekend really threw me for a loop. Still have a lot to learn, but I appreciate the support and suggestions I got here.