Selective Mutism / Not Speaking Due to Stress

[Marlene]

After another episode of having an evening being non-verbal due to stress (and another forum member mentioning it in my diary), I'm wondering how many others out there deal with this. So I'm posting this poll.

For me, it's a combination of withdrawing into myself and that speaking just becomes so difficult that it's just easier to stop speaking all together. Usually for a few hours or so. It feels like I'm trying to drag the words out of myself or something. Another thing is that when I do make myself speak when I feel like this, it sounds (in my head) like I'm almost yelling. My family has told me that I'm barely audible.

Anyone else?

Lisa

[anthony]

Absolutely Lisa.... I certainly do if the stress is seemingly too much. My preferred option is often to go have a lay down, maybe a sleep for an hour or two, then I am typically fine. Depending on the level of stress, sometimes I may not be capable to speak of an issue for days until I can lower my stress levels to deal with the problem, knowing it will create a requisite amount of stress just dealing with it.

If this is a recurring issue though, I would suggest you need to further push yourself and find a more appropriate boundary, ie. avoiding discussion and going silent is not always the best option for ourselves, or others. Some times we must talk about the problem to actually get better, to relieve the stress. I could actually say the the majority of times it is better to talk as it relieves the stress thus no requirement to be mute or silent for extended periods.

It does take an individual effort, it does take time, it does take constant learning and doing to maintain. Just part of learning how to manage PTSD. People at the best of times avoid emotional discussion, we must hit it head on and force ourselves more often than not to discuss so we can lower our stress levels. On the odd occasion though there are always circumstances where it is best to recluse for a rest, then hit the conversation in a discussion.

[Awakening]

I voted yes, although its by choice and I will speak if necessary or if someone asks me something directly that's non-threatening i.e. have you seen my car keys?
For me it's an avoidance/shutdown/protection of myself & others thing.

[Claire]

Yes, me too Lisa. I get a bad stutter too when having trouble talking about my trauma. It feels like the wheels of my brain are slowing down and then grinding to a halt.

[Marlene]

I get a bad stutter too when having trouble talking about my trauma.

Me, too. I stammer and stutter quite a bit when dealing with traumas. I honestly wasn't thinking about that when I wrote this poll...but it puts a little more information together for me.

I usually end up not speaking when the stresses of the day or the last few days build up. What's funny about it is that I don't see it coming. I feel fine one minute and then *poof* it's just one thing too many and causes overload and I shut down for a while. Fortunately it's not very often.

Lisa

[Kathy]

Thank you for starting this poll Lisa. As you know Evie also has this. Originally we thought it was connected to her autism, it was only recently that we realized others with PTSD also have this problem. Thank you all for sharing, it is very enlightening.

[anthony]

Kathy, IMHO you need to create more polls yourself to possibly answer some of your own questions, and likely even answer or connect the dots for many other carers and/or physicians who gather statistical data from this forum. What you seem to at times be concerned or think about, so do others. I think your thinking is smack on the mark.

IMHO, I would ask that more carers in general ask questions through polls in order to determine a greater understanding whether their sufferers issue is individual or more a PTSD aspect.

[Kathy]

Yes that is a very good idea Anthony. Not being a sufferer I am often hesitant to start polls in here however I believe I shall do so more often. I do often wonder about certain behaviours. It would be lovely if other carers participated as well.

[becvan]

I answered yes yesterday but didn't explain. I never started speaking until I was four. Even though I only spoke to certain people for a time (I don't know how long though, wasn't told that.) I could speak, I just chose not to. Since then, I go through stages of speaking. I have a "short-circuit" that hits and whats in my brain will not go to my mouth. My muteness is a choice only part of the time. If I'm stressed or feeling unsafe I will chose not to speak or just speak in short bursts. However, if this "short-circuit" hits, I have no choice in not speaking. If I try to, my words will come out slurred, backwards, and sometimes as complete gibberish to the point I won't know if I just spoke English or not. It's very frustrating. I do not use notes. I do not use hand signals. I just don't talk because I can't. I usually leave where ever I'm at about then.

You'd be amazed how long you can go without speaking and no one notices! ;)

bec

[batgirl]

I answered yes too. Sometimes I've had it where I can't talk for weeks at a time. I just had another "episode" of not talking recently which lasted for 4 days. I'm working on it but it's very hard, it seems if I push myself even a slight bit the problem only gets worse.

[Marlene]

You'd be amazed how long you can go without speaking and no one notices! ;)


Yeah, I know. I would go days when I was a teenager not speaking just to see if anyone in my family would notice. No one did.

The good thing about my family now is that if I don't talk for a short period of time, someone notices and asks me if I'm ok. It's nice to be noticed and have people be concerned about me.

Lisa

[nor]

Oh yes Lisa! I definitely shut down.

I usually just lay on the couch and fall asleep. And if I can't fall asleep right away (to avoid talking or interaction), I will take 1/2 of a sleeping pill-regardless of the time. Anything to escape.

nor

[Lisa]

I voted yes too. I have gone through periods of mutism for a period of days-weeks before. Mostly during my adolescence, though it still happens now when I'm overwhelmed with stress.

[kers]

I go mute for days when I get really bad now, which is definitely a step up over the weeks of silence when I was a teenager in the bad situation.

If I'm in a situation where I'm feeling pushed to communicate and overwhelmed by it, I try to say "I don't want to talk about that." I still shut down but now it's fairly brief.

If I'm in a situation that feels overwhelming, even if I'm not being pushed to communicate, I often go silent, too. I try to solve that by getting to a safe place--usually home--and letting myself come out of it. That generally takes a day or so.

I still haven't found a way to deal with my famly, which pretty much combines both of the above scenarios. It took me five days after Thanksgiving to be able to speak again.

[Eagle]

Marlene,
Yes i do it often for a few hours of a day and i have times when I am silent for days on end, a few times weeks. I just pull inside and have nothing to say. A head nod takes care of quite a bit in life if need be.
Eagle

[ruddy]

I also shut down and go mute in times of extreme stress although it is generally for just a few hours. It happens when something has trigerred a traumatic memory. I shut down in therapy often and end up writing about the things I just can't seem to verbalize. It is very frustrating.

[grace5555]

i am there now - even communicating with this is difficult...

[pandora]

I do stuff and shutdown but am still able to verbalize if asked a question. If I am alone with no one to talk to there are days when I just don't want to talk to anyone because my own life seems overwhelming and I often feel as if I have nothing good to say because of the mood i am in so I choose to stay quiet...so I guess this would be overload? I have never gotten to the point where I could not articulate the words but my mind is working so fast when the words come out they are coming out too fast and they are not understandable.

[pandora]

I was just triggered HUGE by this poll. As a child when my traumas occured....I wouldn't speak...I remember the youth group leader and the doctors begging me too and I couldn't....never was able to open up about anything....could NOT speak. Maybe it was more of an inital shock...I am not sure. Again...another interesting poll.

[batgirl]

Having this trouble right now. Trying to communicate.

[hodge]

Never realized I did this before seeing this poll. But after a few episodes since, I now realize I do this and am struggling with it now. It's like my brain is overloaded with too much stuff and can't articulate everything in a coherent fashion.

[TaraJ]

Sometimes, when I am faced with a stressful event and if it at all reminds me of how I felt during a period of trauma, I feel a surge of pain fill me and it is so much, that I can not speak any words.
Once, that happened during my quarterly review at work.
It was not the bast timing, but thankfully, my boss tried to work with me. At one point I became very still and lost my feeling as the stress hit me, and as I felt pain fill my heart, my head and arms fell limp on her desk. I 'came to' soon after, having no recollection of how I got to that strange posture. After seeing her sad expression, I was eventually able to know what happened. There have been several times at work, when suddenly I am taken cpative my a memory which pulls me in and takes over my emotions. All of a sudden, I am
bracing myself and feeling pain (like intense sadness)filling me, and someone will ask me if I'm alright. At first, it's as if I cannot hear them or comprehend. I only see their mouths moving. Then I hear their words, but I cannot speak. It takes a few minutes before I can speak, so I just force myself to nod my head.

[morgan]

I have days where I don't speak unless asked a direct question. Even then, my answers are brief. It's usually because I am overwhelmed by symptoms. they are not always the same symptoms, just overwhelming. It's definitely related to being triggered though.

[upstream]

I have days where I don't speak unless asked a direct question. .

I was the opposite for a while, refusing to answer a direct question. Whenever my ex-boss asked a direct question, it was usually a set-up to tear me down.

I have days when I'm more quiet than others, but I have never gone completely mute, no.

[northernpunch]

Very interesting observation. I cannot drink alcohol because I 'tilt' and go insane, and because I am roaming around the countryside writing stories and kind of wandering, I don't have a medical doctor nearby who can bail me out of a nutward, which is probably what will happen next. Last time I drank alcohol was Sep 07 and it wound up as a night (early morning to afternoon) spent in the drunk tank. No charges. This time I drank was a week ago and I was shooting my mouth off and threatening to kill everyone because, guess what, and even I did not know this, BUT I AM THE DEVIL, apparently, if I was quoted correctly, AND I AM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL, at the bar I was attending. Believe it or not, they felt they had TWO options, ONE give me a ride home and let me die in my own vomit, or TWO call and ambulance, which, in this principality, would have meant my first ever stay in a psychiatric ward (mandatory, observation, max. 30 day). So I got lucky this week, and avoided the most dire consequences of NOT BEING ABLE TO SPEAK UNLESS I AM HAMMERED

[tude]

I have a tendency to become withdrawn, isolate, and quiet. Mostly, I just don't have anything to say. I am usually less tolerant and patient with others at those times, which is the best time to keep my mouth shut!

[Cecilia]

It is normal for me not to speak. I usually am able to smile, but not say much. When really stressed, my mouth gets really dry and my tongue feels thick and I just can't form words.

[nic]

I'm going to hold of on poll right now because while I have had episodes of muteness, I don't know what it is due to.

The first time it happened was the night I was first raped. Afterward I tried to talk, but just couldn't. But, I don't know if I was a case of shock, stress, fear, not being able to find the right words I wanted to say, or just silence because of the physical pain I was in.

Over the course of that year, (while I was experiencing a plethera of trauma), I chose not to speak as much as I used to. I had always been a very vocal person, but that all ended (at least for a while). I could talk, and if I was asked a question, I would respond. I don't know if this was due to stress, PTSD, depression, or what.

Finally, when talking about the trauma in detail I often go mute. Again, could be stress, or it could be not being able to find the right words to express myself...I don't know.

nic

[kers]

I'm surprised that, given how many of us find it difficult to speak and relate it to our being traumatized, that there is not more said on it in "the literature." When I read about PTSD, I don't see this mentioned. Has anyone else seen referrals to muteness or difficulty speaking in their reading?

[TLight]

I've often dreamed of obtaining a job by pretending to be a mute so I wouldn't have to talk to people.

Always thought it would be an easy way to stay safe.

[indigo~in~0z]

thanku marlene for the question

& ditto for everything...

it is so hard to d r a g the words out... if absolutely necessary... and like batgirl says when i do push myself it adds to the mood longevity or extremeness...

[cypher]

I put yes, I keep to myself, withdrawn, don't talk to anyone (voluntarily at least) Along with it though comes spacing out, not hearing when people talk to me, thinking about things.