Ambivalent - Understanding vs. Action

[tude]

I understand and believe exposure/desensitizing to be beneficial. Yet I am kicking myself for asking my therapist to work on it with me. I tried on my own a couple times. It was so torturous. I thought by asking, I would be forced to do that which I am not at all willing to do. I am nervous and afraid. Afraid to get lost in it, lose control, appear weak, cry. I am so afraid, I started to post in the diary section as a kind of primer for my next appt.

I don't know what to expect at next weeks appt. I do know this foolishness has to stop. I just want to be able to do CPR again.

Reading the posts here has been helpful. I don't feel as crazy and foolish.

[anthony]

Are yes... the assumption that someone will force us past our own fears; yet to learn others can only guide you, you must actually do the forcing and the work all by yourself.

[Awakening]

Are yes... the assumption that someone will force us past our own fears; yet to learn others can only guide you, you must actually do the forcing and the work all by yourself.

Tude, you are not alone. Anthony has just highlighted my personal stumbling block. I've yet to clear the hurdle, yet I skirt around it occassionally.

I'm not sure what to advise, other then have a clear idea of your goal (to manage PTSD), think about what you need from your session or from your therapist, think about anything you or your therapist can do to make it as safe as possible & finally - ask questions or seek clarification if unsure about anything (i.e. you might need to know that if you struggle between sessions are you allowed to call your therapist etc).

Ultimately I'm starting to realise that you can implement & think & analyse & anticipate as much as possible for a long time, but eventually you have to take that leap of faith.

Good luck with your next session.

[tude]

Thanks for the replies. I am human. I too have fears. I do have a hard time accepting my own humaness sometimes. Okay, a lot of times. I just needed to let the secret out.

Take care