Fighters Not Quitters

[Claire]

Recently the forum seems to have a load of 'woe is me' kind of stories in it. I know this is where people are at this moment for them but I'm personally kind of fed up with it. I sometimes feel people are manipulative and overly needy, not of me but in general of other people here. I dont respond sometimes, I dont have to and I dont have to read all of it. I dont like seeing people wallowing in self pity and expecting the forum to be some sort of magic wand that will end their problems. This isn't because I'm uncomfortable with it, its just that I see it. I also see a load of people that are here for a reason. That reason being to improve and work out a way of dealing with their PTSD. IMO I think we all need to respect each other more and offer more solutions and ideas and experiences rather than sympathy or 'your trauma isn't as bad as mine' sort of responses. At the moment the forum feels such a negative place and PTSD is negative enough. I'm not saying its wrong to voice it here. Its not but there is good stuff too. There IS progress and we are all winning mini wars in our own ways every day.

I dont expect everyone to agree with this, its my opinion and not directed at any indivdual, but I've thought it for a while and decided to voice it.

[Linda]

Clarie, I was not participating here for a while, but what you wrote is probably not a very new thing. I think it is also common in other places. Thing is, many people expect some kind of magic effect form the Forum or from therapy. Probably something like the effect of antibiotic on infection we get. Infortunatelly, there are no antibiotics invented for mental problems. This is all about hard work from the person affected. Other people, like the forum participants or even therapists, can help and guide, but can not give a complete and easy solution.

[cactus_jack]

I don't try to say that my problems are worse than others as I have clearly seen others in here that make mine look pretty mild. They are, of course, in my prayers.
I post here mostly to get out how I feel. Feedback is always a plus, but the important thing is getting it out.

[2quilt]

I feel that writing it out, expressing my feelings and then reading it, and getting feedback from others, is just another way for me to release the trauma, like talk therapy.

[zoe]

Claire,

I think you are correct - everyone is in a different "place". I don't think you can get out of negative feelings without expressing them and getting feedback - not that they will suddenly go away - it takes time. So I would suspect that there will always be some people (myself included) struggling at any given time. IMHO that does not make them quitters - just people working through a process that is very difficult to go through... at there own speed.

I suspect part of the negativity you are seeing is the time of year - many people, PTSD or not have difficulty dealing with the stess of the holidays. As I said .. Just my opinion.

Zoe

[veiled]

Good opinion. Zoe ;)

[Claire]

Yes, good point Zoe. I'm sure the holidays are difficult for many here. The title I chose didn't mean that people that expressed difficulties were quitters. We are all fighting NOT quitting just by being here and trying to work on stuff.

[She Cat]

I agree Veiled, that Zoe made a very good point. I also feel this way. It's a PTSD board. We all have problems and need to vent, whine, moan and groan at times.

It may be my day tomorrow, or little bo peeps, but I feel that we are entitled to vent when needed, and sometimes just have a ME day!!!! Just my opinion.

[nathan]

it actually makes me feel really good when i can give positive feedback and maybe help someone feel better. although i have to admit that i have been shying away from the board a bit, just because reading some of the more stressful posts makes me feel anxious, but i think that goes with the territory. like she-cat said, tomorrow might be my day.

[morgan]

I think for me that it's great to be able to reach out, no matter which way you're reaching. Giving feedback is just as important as getting it. It kinda keeps me balanced ya know. I sure don't want to be thought of as a whiner, nor do I wish to be a guru. I just want to be a part of something. I can't do that alone. By the way, I think this is a great topic. It really makes me look at myself and my motives. I find that helpful.

[EmoxxKid]

Ouch.

I think (as stated above) people should be able to write whatever they would like on here.....I thought this was about venting and such? It's a PTSD website...what did you even think was going to be on here? This often is the 1st place people find to be able to express the intense pain they have been going through.....It's going to be depressing.

Perhaps I was wrong....

Or maybe you should follow what you wrote and watch what you read....eh?

[becvan]

I really don't think there was any reason for that tone Emoxx. Claire also has a right to express how she sees something or how she feels. There is no reason to be sarcastic and rude towards her for it.

bec

[EmoxxKid]

Oh yeah? Her writing didn't have a tone to it?....Come on....I was just giving what she was...and explaining myself.
You can't say whatever you want and then hide behind that "right to express" crap....I didn't like what she wrote...it hurt my feelings and I can't belive it didn't hurt other peoples on here. I am not going to just sit around and agree with everyone because it's like the cool thing to do....and I won't stir up people feathers....

It's how I feel....:thumbs-up

[She Cat]

I will have to agree with Emoxx on this issue. I too was offended by Claire's original post. It took everything I had NOT to be ruder than I was. This is said and I am not having ANY symptoms at all lately, and her post still irritated me when I read it.

[veiled]

It is not whether anyone agrees or not that is an issue. How you express yourself in a community is. These are directed at Claire and not in a nice manner. Claire did not direct her post at any one person or single them out nor posted it in someone's thread that is having current issues. While many did not agree entirely with Claire, self included, the general responses were conducted in an adult fashion. The last couple have not been. That is the issue here guys. You can disagree and do have a right to post your opinion but you will not post in the fashion that has been demonstrated.

So it offended some, it hurt feelings. Now why can't you just say that instead of telling them watch what they read then? How about pointing out why you feel this way and try to make a convincing sell to her?

Here I will give an example of the right way as many others did already...

"Claire, this post is offensive to me and is hurtful. Why would you have a problem or be bothered by those with the weight of PTSD on their shoulders coming to a forum designed for and by a PTSD sufferer to vent and let this out? Isn't it better we express our pain and get help from those who have been there? What are you thinking??"

Now was that hard? Did my statement agree with her in any form or fashion? I even added some good emotion to the end to really give it some life! And I am willing to bet my adult line of questioning would render an adult response.

I will also strongly advise when an editor is here doing their job they not be responded to in the same immature fashion they are trying to correct. Final warning as I am posting as an editor at the moment as bec was trying to do earlier.

[She Cat]

Veiled...Point taken and understood.

[EmoxxKid]

Wait,

So was that a threat to not to speak my mind?

[veiled]

If I said that then you could quote me. Since I didn't... Thank you Wendy for understanding our editorial policy and not taking it personally. Emoxx I would suggest you read the editorial policy as you have been warned already and we won't just pass out warnings until we are blue in the face, that is how people get put back in moderation. The only underlying "threat" would be to close this thread and you have managed to push it that far.

[anthony]

I have read this for the first time, now its closed, and I must agree that you stepped over the line emox. Everything you said was your opinion until your last line, being the one veiled mentioned as an issue, "Or maybe you should follow what you wrote and watch what you read....eh?" That is an attack towards the thread creator, not your opinion as was the majority of your post.

I call a spade a spade, a duck a duck. If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, chances are its a duck. Forum editors call it as they see it, and veiled's comments I absolutely agree with. Your last statement emox was an attack towards to thread creator, and not called for. This is what veiled and bec are both pointing out too you, as I am also now. If any one of us editors are wrong, as we all are at times, then we are told it. We can't always see when we're wrong, and often we need to be told.

Emox, your wrong on this issue. If you didn't include the last line of your post, there would have been no issue with your statement / opinion.