Mom Rained On My Parade! WHY?

[Grama-Herc]

I was not prepared in any way for the response I received from my mom last night when I said I was going to call my daughter for the 1st time since our reunion.

When I suggested the mom call her some time, to which she responded in the most negative possible way I could have ever imagined.

Mom said, and I quote, "Well, I don't know. I'm not sure I even believe her story. I don't think she is telling us the truth!"

What the hell am I suppose to do with this? My 1st feeling was to cuss my mom out and say have dare you---just simply how dare you! But I didn't. I said something to the effect of Mom, I can't go there. I have to and will believe her. She called me. You didn't hear her on the phone, the tone in her voice, the way she cried and the words she said. But I am so hurt. I am in real pain caused by her comment. I am scared to say anything to her about this. The last thing I need is any tension between the 2 of us. CRAP. Why is life so difficult? Whyh do we cause eachother so much pain?

I am just sitting here with my headache and taking deep breaths. Not very productive and it is not helping!!!

Am I being to sensitive Grama Herc

[She Cat]

Herc,


There may be several reasons that your mom said what she did....

1) She has seen the pain that you have gone through in the past 12 yrs and doesn't want to see you get hurt again.

2) Jealousy....It's been you and her for the past 12 years, and maybe she is a little resentful and fearful that your daughter may come between the two of you.

3) Mom is getting older and set in her ways, she may have already made up her mind and this is her opinion. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

I am glad that you handled it the way that you did. Keep breathing, and now you MAY be going into a whole new area.... Possible peace maker between your mom and daughter.....Or maybe she just needs time to come around.

Hang in there

[nie]

Herc,

I am sorry that you were subjected to such hurtful words. You know in your heart what the truth is, and although you mother cannot support you, at least can support your daughter. I hope that your mother changes her mind to be more helpful to you soon.

nie

[Grama-Herc]

She

Thanx for the input! I was just so shocked to hear mom say that. I just can't go there now. I don't need those doubts creeping into my head. There is enough negative crap in there already. Just simply going to let it alone and see what happens. Don't need to cause any more tidal waves in my life right now

I'll keep you posted

Grama Herc

[Marlene]

Herc,

It may take a while for your mom to believe that this change is for real. Wendy had a lot of good reasons listed above.

For now, just keep your communications with your daughter low-keyed. Or maybe suggest to your daughter that she talks to her grandmother as well. This is new for everyone involved. Take things slow and easy.

Lisa

[Grama-Herc]

Nie

Thanks. I was so unnerved by the comment. It was so out of character for mom. It really caught me off guard. AND IT HURT. But all of this is uncharted territory for all of us so I'm just gonna bide my time and tread lightly with my kid and hope mom comes around.

[Grama-Herc]

Marlene

Why can't thinks just go smoothly for us once in a while? Just seems that someone or something is always stepping on our "GLAD". Our "HAPPY" Oh well, what does not kill us makes us stronger. Now, if you guys can mjust cure the eternal headache I will be happy, I promise

[cactus_jack]

Herc, I have to agree with SheCat's #1 and then #3. #2 isn't what I'd consider an issue.