TheDeepestScar
04-12-2007, 01:33 AM
I haven't been on here since just before Thanksgiving. I've been going through a rough patch here lately. I've been quite reclusive and withdrawn. I don't really know what's going on with me.
Then of course last week I get smacked down with one of the worst migraines I've ever had and was not on the internet at all for 3 days.
I don't know I guess I'm just feeling overwhelmed and depressed and I'm not sure what else to be completely honest with you.
I've been getting short of breath quite alot but I think that's a manifestation of anxiety because it eased up after I took some Klonopine last night. Directly pointing it in the direction of anxiety rather than a breathing problem since Klonopine wouldn't do anything for my lungs. I didn't want to take the Klonopine but my husband, God bless him, suggested I take it.
I've been on this anti-medicinal kick lately. Which probably only aggravated my migraines since I refused to take anything for it until it got bad. I just have been in a state where I don't want to take any medication that I don't have to.
I have however been loosing weight since going off the Seroquel the doctor had me on. Though I did start a diet a few months ago, I went from 238 to 203 which is where I'm at now. That's self satisfying. I suppose that can bring me a little joy. Any positive I can find is a good thing right?
My therapist wanted me to try to take a risk everyday, though I haven't been doing so every day I have done things outside my 'safety net'. Such as going to a restaurant that carries the same name as my ex husband has. I even worked up the courage to go to the store by myself, which lately has been a task in and of itself.
I've not been writing them down though and I don't see her till next week. We had a pretty good therapy session on Monday of last week. I actually opened up and even cried a little which is a difficult task for me since I was raised to believe that crying was a crime. (Meaning: I was punished for crying at home when I was a child). That's not to say I don't want to cry cause I do but I can't and I'm not sure if that even makes sense.
Sorry for prattling on, I haven't been on here in pretty much forever, I think its been 2 weeks now. And I just wanted to check in.
Then of course last week I get smacked down with one of the worst migraines I've ever had and was not on the internet at all for 3 days.
I don't know I guess I'm just feeling overwhelmed and depressed and I'm not sure what else to be completely honest with you.
I've been getting short of breath quite alot but I think that's a manifestation of anxiety because it eased up after I took some Klonopine last night. Directly pointing it in the direction of anxiety rather than a breathing problem since Klonopine wouldn't do anything for my lungs. I didn't want to take the Klonopine but my husband, God bless him, suggested I take it.
I've been on this anti-medicinal kick lately. Which probably only aggravated my migraines since I refused to take anything for it until it got bad. I just have been in a state where I don't want to take any medication that I don't have to.
I have however been loosing weight since going off the Seroquel the doctor had me on. Though I did start a diet a few months ago, I went from 238 to 203 which is where I'm at now. That's self satisfying. I suppose that can bring me a little joy. Any positive I can find is a good thing right?
My therapist wanted me to try to take a risk everyday, though I haven't been doing so every day I have done things outside my 'safety net'. Such as going to a restaurant that carries the same name as my ex husband has. I even worked up the courage to go to the store by myself, which lately has been a task in and of itself.
I've not been writing them down though and I don't see her till next week. We had a pretty good therapy session on Monday of last week. I actually opened up and even cried a little which is a difficult task for me since I was raised to believe that crying was a crime. (Meaning: I was punished for crying at home when I was a child). That's not to say I don't want to cry cause I do but I can't and I'm not sure if that even makes sense.
Sorry for prattling on, I haven't been on here in pretty much forever, I think its been 2 weeks now. And I just wanted to check in.