How Does a Parent's PTSD Effect Our Children?

[Harry]

Hi, I was just wondering today, if there are any links or experiences on children.

Not children with PTSD, but children of PTSD sufferers and survivors.
thanks

[Kathy]

As far as links go Harry, I believe there are a few here, though you would have to a search to come up with them. Personally I believe it is naive to think PTSD has no effect on one's child. However, whether that effect is mostly positive or mostly negative would be highly individual. There are some here, including my daughter Evie (who is in reality my stepdaughter) who have acquired PTSD themselves from the actions of a parent with PTSD. However, the man who raised her was suffering from untreated Combat PTSD. There would be a huge difference with someone with PTSD in the management stage raising a child.

I will see if I can find some of the links for you Harry, however if you do a search here for "children", you should be able to come up with something.

[Kathy]

Here are two links that came to mind immediately:

http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread4937.html

http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread5813.html

As I say, I assume there are many more.

[Harry]

thanks alot kathy, that's already quite helpful

[Linda]

In my family, I remember two generations of people prior to myself who were exposed to very severe traumatic situations (war, hunger, poverty, violent conflicts during political changes in the country). Since PTSD is a relatively new diagnosis, I do not know whether my grandparents or my dad actually were suffering from it. But I suspect, from what I know, that my father's mom did (she was a combat medic during the war). My father's family was a sort of dysfunctional because of his mom's issues. And my father was an abusive parent, I suspect since he was grown in such environment. In turn, childhood abuse I experienced from him contributed to my PTSD. And, in its turn, I think that my PTSD is a main reason why I can not make a good parent.

[jods]

Good question.
At this point in time our 4yo seems to be taking it in his stride.
I do however plan when he is older to see a doc for himself & make sure that he knows that despite the stigma that society tends to put towards mental health issues that at the end of the day all people have issues it's ok to seek help to give you tools to learn how to deal with our version of a "normal" household.

[becvan]

Okay I just asked my son. So this is his answer.

Sometimes when I snap, it stresses him.

Some days he doesn't want friends over in case I snap at them if they do something wrong.

He worries that I might die from being ill.

Thinks that us understanding each other is good. (We both have PTSD.)

Well that was his answer. LOL bit like pulling teeth out of him. So that is the perspective of a 12 year old boy.

bec

[pandora]

OK...What a post.


I feel like......My son benefits from my PTSD because I am off with him full time right now and I require no additional assistance ( he also has aspergers....so in my case change is even harder than with most.) BUT....the list above Bec helps to explain it because I don't actually talk to my son about my PTSD because he is 12 but has the aspergers and he already has enough to work through. Thanx.

[pandora]

I know my snapping stresses him....he flaps his arms and starts to hum...it actually signals me to breathe and I walk to bathroom until i have calmed down....we always talk about the episode and I apologize.

My son still has friends every weekend....he doesn't really think about their reactions....BUT I sure do and i can understand how embarassing it could be for a child at this age.

My son asks me the "are you going to die....ALOT.....Question......
"....He sees me vomit....have severe headaches, uncontrolled diarhrea.....i can imagine that is scary to a 12 year old.............I know watching my father be ill at a young age....it WAs scary.

So...that is my experience mith my son with PTSD and with his autism....at 12 years old. Very insightful Bec.

I imagine that having an open and honest relationship is very beneficial to both parents and children.

[pandora]

Linda, I just wanted to add.....instead of phrasing it "Why I cannot make a good parent" to "I am a parent with PTSD and I try the best that I can.......if I did not have PTSD I would be a kick ass parent!".......just my two cents.

[Kathy]

Harry, I recently added an article to the Carers Information section regarding PTSD in families with children, so I thought you may be interested to read it:

http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread6507.html

[pastrychefarmywife]

thank you!! i can tell my husband that, " you are a parent with ptsd, and try the best you can!!! thats the best thing i can!

[pandora]

pastrychefamywife......I just created a thread in success stories on having PTSD and parenting a child...I am doing it and my son has some special needs we ae dealing with.