just tina
18-12-2007, 08:39 AM
Hi. I'm suffering from my third debilitating episode of PTSD in 28 years. Just failed two classes in my first term at a major university. Never failed before. It's a dillema because I'm getting paid to go to school as compensation for my trauma. Next term, I'm only taking two classes, and one of them I took last term. It should have been a do-the-work-get-an-A class, but my brain wasn't working, and time seemed to be just slipping through my fingers. I simply couldn't get a grip and my head was full of static. My thoughts were bouncing around like radio signals that couldn't find a receiver. It was nearly impossible to concentrate and get organized. Sure don't want to fail out of school. Not being a good student is like not being ME.
Last year was an awful year for me in many respects, so it took a while for me to figure out what "my problem" was. In retrospect, it's obvious. I guess I always fight it until I'm exhausted. Once I realized what it was, I felt a very deep sorrow, and have been feeling the hurt since. I'm weepy.
I don't have a psychiatrist or counselor now---only scrips. The counselors always seem to make it worse, and I'd like to get off the drugs. I never had chronic sleep problems before I got hooked on prescription drugs.
Now I'm spending the break at a friend's house. Have been sleeping a lot and watching a lot of movies. It's hard for me to get into gear to do some things I need to get done during the break. At least I don't feel crazy and I know what "my problem" is. Now---how to deal with it? How to get back on track AND respect my suffering?
Guess I'd better admit that this is probably not going to go away and I'm thinking a support group might be helpful---and maybe I can be helpful, too. It helps to have a place for it---guess the trick is keeping it in that place.
Last year was an awful year for me in many respects, so it took a while for me to figure out what "my problem" was. In retrospect, it's obvious. I guess I always fight it until I'm exhausted. Once I realized what it was, I felt a very deep sorrow, and have been feeling the hurt since. I'm weepy.
I don't have a psychiatrist or counselor now---only scrips. The counselors always seem to make it worse, and I'd like to get off the drugs. I never had chronic sleep problems before I got hooked on prescription drugs.
Now I'm spending the break at a friend's house. Have been sleeping a lot and watching a lot of movies. It's hard for me to get into gear to do some things I need to get done during the break. At least I don't feel crazy and I know what "my problem" is. Now---how to deal with it? How to get back on track AND respect my suffering?
Guess I'd better admit that this is probably not going to go away and I'm thinking a support group might be helpful---and maybe I can be helpful, too. It helps to have a place for it---guess the trick is keeping it in that place.