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View Full Version : I'll Take a Chance and Post Here - PTSD From Childhood Trauma


AmazonBelle
30-12-2007, 09:52 PM
What to write?

I'm a 44 year old married woman with two grown sons. I live in the southeastern U.S.

I worked as a nurse for 20 years before having a nervous collapse at work one morning and walking away from my job. That was in 2003. I haven't returned to work, and have been on disability since then for ptsd.

The primary cause of my ptsd was childhood trauma. I was abused by my father, my mother, and other relatives. Secondary traumatizations occurred throughout my nursing career and 2 previous marriages.

I have worked hard to recover. Before I had insurance for therapy, I read books and went to 12 step meetings to get help.

I have now been in therapy every week for the last four years, and have been hospitalized twice at a hospital specializing in treating trauma survivors.

I took myself off of anti-depressant medication last summer, with my doctor's approval. It was not working for me, and we had tried many different varieties, strengths and combinations. I have an 'as needed' anti-anxiety medication, I use it sparingly, I don't want to be knocked out.

I rarely leave my home, but have made plans to return to college in January to begin training in another field. I will be studying computer networking.

I very much need a support forum with others who have ptsd. I don't know anyone in real life who has this, there are no support groups in my area.

Thanks for being here.

She Cat
31-12-2007, 08:41 AM
Hi and welcome to the forum. You will find lots of people here that understand what you are going through. You will also find support, and encouragement too.

Good luck with going back to school.

pandora
31-12-2007, 08:42 AM
Welcome to the forum. I am also a nurse..i am 36. I worked for 10 years and have now been off for over 3 due to PTSD......This forum has helped me a great deal......still have bad days but they are fewer and far between.

AmazonBelle
31-12-2007, 09:20 AM
Hi and welcome to the forum. You will find lots of people here that understand what you are going through. You will also find support, and encouragement too.

Good luck with going back to school.
Thank you for responding.

I think school will be okay, it has always been a 'safe place' for me. Returning to work eventually is very scary, but I'm doing one thing at a time... Staying at home is very boring and isolating for me, it's time for a change.

AmazonBelle
31-12-2007, 09:22 AM
Welcome to the forum. I am also a nurse..i am 36. I worked for 10 years and have now been off for over 3 due to PTSD......This forum has helped me a great deal......still have bad days but they are fewer and far between.
I'm glad things are getting better for you.

It has been a very slow process, and it goes in that old familiar two steps forward... one step back... routine for me.

empowered
31-12-2007, 11:54 AM
Welcome to the forum AmazonBelle :hello:I'm also a nurse.I had to stop due to PTSD from work and childhood sexual abuse and abandonement. I've been a member for a short time, I have found it encouraging and supportive, I'm sure you will to :Hug_emoticon:

Sindy

becvan
31-12-2007, 12:32 PM
Welcome to the forum.

bec

AmazonBelle
31-12-2007, 02:02 PM
Thank you Sindy. Seems like there are a quite a few nurses on this forum...

AmazonBelle
31-12-2007, 02:03 PM
Thank you bec.

salome05
31-12-2007, 08:51 PM
hello,

i was at home for the last 3.5 years, and had my first day at work last thursday. so i am in the same "phase" as you are... it was the same as you said: i felt isolated... and it was time for a change...

welcome...

s.

tankertoy
01-01-2008, 01:02 AM
welcome to the site.... great people here and alot of good information

secondchance
01-01-2008, 04:18 AM
I too am very new to this site. If you want to you will receive help here. I am 56 and had a very traumatic bloody childhood. The rest of my life had some very violent periods also. Rapes, beatings deaths..the whole deal. I too am having a very hard time coping with work but continue to try. I would love to go back to school and understand that you feel "SAFE" there.:wink: I just recently tried to kill myself..NOT an option! I came here because I thought the group sessions helped me the most in the hospital. I guess I finally just..stopped. I am coming back but it is a slow process. I didn't take a day to get here so I guess it will take a lot to recover. well welcome and good luck!

Linda

AmazonBelle
01-01-2008, 11:38 AM
Thanks for all your warm welcomes.

vee_dog
08-01-2008, 12:10 PM
AmazonBelle,
I'm so proud of you. I'm glad I'm your husband and friend. You have been the cause of me becoming a better person. I love you dearly and will always be there for you.
vee_dog

AmazonBelle
08-01-2008, 12:57 PM
I had my first day back at college today. Just an orientation class, but I was very anxious before going.

It was all fine. I had a headache afterwards, but I made it.

Classes start tomorrow. I'm anxious, but I know that it's going to be okay.

hollyberry
08-01-2008, 10:47 PM
welcome to the forum

anthony
10-01-2008, 08:57 AM
Welcome to the forum... glad to have you here.