Overwhelmed by Multiple Family Problems

[secondchance]

Greetings!

I joined the forum just a few weeks ago..a little skeptical..but now surprised. I am learning some pretty great things on here. Some quick info on me. I am 56 and recently broke down and tried to kill myself with pills. Almost made it. Glad I did not. Very abusive childhood..and the remaining parts weren't so good either. On Valentines day this year I held my mothers hand for 17 hours only to watch her go through death throws. It seemd to be the beginning of the end for me. I lost my sister a few months before that. My son has been diagnosed as HIV positive. My daughter's husband kicked her dog down the stairs, took all her money and told her if she did not have an abortion he would kill her. I held her hand during the abortion. My other daughter has cervical cancer. My husband..finally pushed me over the edge.. he repeatedly made very loud noises inside the house ( this is a huge trigger for me) . Thanks for listening. I am working hard on just me right now.

Thanks for reading...Linda

[She Cat]

Hi Linda,

Welcome to the forum....

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hi secondchance, and welcome to the forum. It sounds like you've been through the ringer lately.

I hope everything calms down and you have some peace so you can get yourself to a point where you can work on inner healing.

Take care
Tammy

[empowered]

Hi Linda, Welcome to the forum :hello:

[AmazonBelle]

Welcome from another newbie to the forum.

[nie]

welcome to the forum

[secondchance]

Had an appointment with my counselor and she is recomming EMDR. Has anyone tried this and if so..what was the outcome? Thanks for your welcomes by the way.

[salome05]

i tried emdr.

i think it is very good, helps LOTS of people in only a short time... :-)

for me it did not work as it should - my reactions were so extreme that my therapist did not dare to use it again. at that time we only knew each other for a short time - later she told me that she would not have tried it if she had known all about me that she now knows... whatever that means...? next week i'll see a new therapist - maybe she will try emdr again with me... i wish you more luck with emdr!!! for very many people it is a really good thing!!!

s.

[secondchance]

To you salome05. I am a little anxious about the entire process but will give it my best shot. :hello:

[vee_dog]

Hi Secondchance,
I'm new here also, but as a carer. It sounds like you've been overwhelmed. Even someone without PTSD would be overwhelmed at all that adversity. My wife tried EMDR with one of her earlier therapists and didn't like it. I'll ask her to post for you. I know from experience that your husband must understand and be supportive. I sincerely hope he's not making the loud noises deliberately. He's got to be understanding. Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

[AmazonBelle]

I am vee_dog's wife, and have had experiences with emdr therapy also.

I found it too intrusive and jarring to my whole nervous system. The therapist I was working with was experienced with the technique, and teaches it to others. It just did not work well for me and I did try it several times.

In my opinion and my experience (only), it seems that emdr may work better with single incident trauma rather than a long history of trauma. (You may do fine with it, I just didn't... it was like tapping a spider's web... I just kept shaking and shaking inside.)

[secondchance]

Thanks to all. A little anxious about the EMDR but will give it a try. I understand it is not for everyone. Yes he made the noises on purpose. When I asked if after 13 years together did he not know that bothered me and he said..yes. Why did you do it then. Because it was there. He is not a terrible man. He is just very immature and self centered. Me being a Codependent..well it just fits right in. I was having sleep issues and they gave me ambien so I told my family not to wake me even if the house was on fire. 20 minutes later he woke me up by shaking the bed to tell me (his) dog just threw up on the floor. I can't make this stuff up:wall:He is seeing a counselor now ( 2 times and says he is cured:crazy:) But he is truly trying. The problem is at this stage he has lied to me so many times..I don't think I fully trust him even with little things.

[salome05]

oh my god...

are you sure you can find peace in your life WITH your husband?

s.

[Frankie]

Hi secondchance, welcome aboard ! You have gone through so much and have not given up ! Your name says it all ! :)...You are truly giving yourself a chance ! Hope you truly find the peace, comfort and happiness you deserve !

[pandora]

Welcome to the forum.

My experience with emdr...if you have more than one trauma it could cause "flooding" ...that happened to me...PTSD symptoms out of contol.....couldn't drive the car at that point. Anyway....hope you find much support here. Take Care!

[secondchance]

Thanks everyone.

Yes this is truely a second chance for me. salome..I have to try. But either way..I am devoted to making it. Question..he told me his counselor said to him at his last appointment.." gee you are really a great guy. I wish I could find someone as great as you." ( She is a single female) I found this inappropriate if true. Obviously he is not telling her the whole story if it really occured. If not he is lying to me. He will make odd statements like this to me. Is he trying to convicne me what a catch he is? He tells me women flirt with him all the time because his wedding ring looks more like just a guys ( really big diamonds) ring. He says it makes him uncomfortable:poke:I think he is just poking me..again. But again..he seems to be trying.Just looking for another unbiased opinion. Have a great day everyone!

[anthony]

Welcome to the forum second chance.

[hollyberry]

welcome to the forum second chance

[sunnydaze]

You surely have had your share of troubles. One would think the more we go through the stronger we get. Not me! mY reaction is the same, depression for months till the next arrivals than down I go again. I feel like a yoyo. You must also. One day at a time!
sunnydaze

[dljwhitewolf]

sounds like you need calgon to take you away. Have you thought of going to a pastor or priest to help with some of your health issues the family has?
just a suggestion
I lost so so so so many people in my family, I feel like I was born to bury.
But I know the ones I held hands with, had me praying for their soul, and God has taken them to the grandstand in the sky to forever enjoy the greater qualities not even experienced down here.
For this, I am forever grateful to God.