New Guy - Wife Has PTSD

[Rougespear 1983]

Hello All,
My name is Bryan and I have been married to my wife Kris a little over a year. My wife Kris suffers from PTSD and has been suffering for quite a few years. Our marriage is pretty sound and I love my wife dearly but I have been searching for a place that I could vent and someone I could talk to about be a caregiver for some one with PTSD. I have read quite a few of your post and I feel that this is a place for me to Post and talk to other caregivers about my feelings and theirs.
As most of you have experienced the ups and down of PTSD I would like to disscuss mine. Honestly I find the most difficult thing being not getting mad when my wife as a PTSD moment and lashes out at me in anger. I just don't know what to do. I try not to get mad back or let my pride get involved but it is hard, especially when to me it seems its overs something petty or trival. I know though that it is not to her. Well anyways I hope you all have a happy new year and I look forward to hearing from you all out there so that I know I am not alone.

[Kathy]

Welcome to the forum Bryan, lovely to have you. I am the mother of two PTSD sufferers, one living, one deceased, so a slightly different situation than yourself. However, I must say, I do understand completely the frustration you experience when your wife lashes out. My husband and I recently had some incidents with our daughter (who lives with us) where she was most nasty for little or no reason. It was difficult for the both of us not to lose our tempers with her. Thankfully we have good communication and things have settled down once more.

You may already know this Bryan, however in case you don't... you are never under obligation to "put up with" PTSD related behaviours. Yes our loved ones are ill and they require our love and support, however that does not give them the right to be abusive to us. You are entitled to look after yourself and enforce your own boundaries. My husband and I let many things slide, we pick our battles so to speak. However there are certain behaviours which we will not tolerate. Communication is most important, and if you wife does something which truly crosses the line for you, I would let her know that, in a calm fashion of course. Part of healing from PTSD is learning to take responsibility for one's actions. Is your wife currently in therapy?

Once again welcome and please feel free to share, ask questions, and vent as much as you desire. I look forward to chatting with you more.

[Nicolette]

Welcome Bryan.

Kathy is a really smart lady who is full of wisdom and has already said anything I could possibly say perfectly. :wink:

I hope you find some support here.

[Harry]

Hi Rougespear
I am in the same boat, wife with PTSD, so looking forward reading more from you.

[Damiea]

Hello Rougespear
welcome to the forum, will be looking forward to chatting with you!

[Jim]

Welcome Bryan. Hope you enjoy your time here.

Jim.

[Crucible]

My wife (PTSD sufferer) who has a great attitude still can't help being effected by little things.

In general violence, the sounds of violence or what sounds like violence, and even certain words effect her. This means no action adventure or science fiction about 90% of the time. I mute the Indiana Jones commercials.

She's also intimitated by harsh voices and big men.