PTSD From Childhood Abuse

[dlross]

Greetings,

wandered in here looking for...company? My life is obscured by Complex PTSD, resulting from a childhood spent in the captivity of an abusive relationship with a mother whose exclusive creature/whipping post I was. Not that there was a lot of physical abuse. Just enough to engender terror. And the rest was mental and emotional. I was not locked in the house, but I was not allowed to have friends. This was hard to understand and not take personally, given that life for my siblings was quite different. I now understand that my mother has many narcissistic traits, so it wasn't personal. Still, I am 47 and have yet to put together anything resembling a life for myself. And so on and so forth. As the musician Seal says "it's the loneliness that's the killer..."

D.

[empowered]

Welcome to the forum Dlross :hello:

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hi dlross, welcome to the forum. You will find company here as well as a lot of good information.

Peace
Tammy

[She Cat]

Welcome to the forum. Hopefully this will be the end of your loneliness.

[captrn1]

Welcome , Welcome, Welcome dlross. Hope you find some help here. Its never too late to start a new life! :occasion:

Good Luck
captrn

[vee_dog]

Hello and welcome, dlross. You shouldn't feel alone in here. You and AmazonBelle have much in common.

[nie]

Welcome to the forum.

[secondchance]

Welcome dlross! I am fairly new and have found this to be a safe place. My story is similiar to your also. You can find peace..believe me:thumbs-up

[hollyberry]

welcome to the forum.

[dlross]

Thanks to everyone for the welcome. It is interesting to see similar stories in other threads.

D.

[anthony]

Hi dlross, welcome to the forum. Yep, just do not understand what goes through some peoples head when they have such abusive personalities....

[dlross]

So this is the point at which I usually delete my profile from this kind of support forum. After saying hello I never know how to proceed. This is the case in 'live' encounters as well. So, that said, obviously I decided to try something a little different today.
Read in another thread that PTSD can be 'capped' and then resurface. That was a very helpful bit of info. I have always functioned well below capacity and struggled hard to stay out of depression and isolation. But a couple of years ago I experienced what I have only been able to describe as a complete decompensation. Suddenly I was ending up in the mental hospital and could not function at all. So, good to know there was a reason for that. I suppose I'm fortunate to have lost it like that, since I am forced to deal with stuff more thoroughly in order to rebuild from the ground up.
Right now I'm in treatment for an eating disorder, which flared up again once I re-established my sobriety by spending a year in a treatment program for that. It is certainly a long haul to get somewhere near ready to even think about getting a job. I am on welfare for the fourth time in my life, and it does not feel good.
So, that's a bit more about me.

D.

[hollyberry]

Just as they say in the rooms, one day at a time...Nice job not deleting your profile....Insanity is repeating the same mistake over and over and expecting a different result. Holly

[secondchance]

dlross,

Holly is right. You have done well to stay with us. You need to be dedicated to ACCEPTING help. You deserve it. You have to also make the decision to put yourself first right now. Your emotional coffers are empty. You need to put everything else aside and just concentrate on helping you. It sounds like you have succeeded with your addiction problem. That could NOT have been easy so I sense you have a strong core. Give yourself and us a chance:thumbs-up

God Bless

Linda

[sunnydaze]

Welcome,
Plenty to do at this site, you won't get bored
sunnydaze

[mightsurvive]

Welcome dlross
Glad you found us and perservered in order to help yourself recover.
Take care

[spiritofnow]

Hi there DLross and welcome!

I am new here too! All I can say is that my experience on here so far has been very positive from the comments of others to the way that I have been able to use this place as a resource and a tool to aid in my healing process.

I wish you well

[dljwhitewolf]

I've been thru many types of trauma, the one that hurts the most, was being ignored.
welcome