PTSD for 10 years - Abduction & Satanic Ritual Abuse

[nonabug5]

I am 46 years old & live in the Southeastern USA. I am most uncertain about extending myself here.

I feel incredibly insane. I can't remember the most basic of things. I can only sleep in the daytime so I can see everything if, (more like WHEN) I wake suddenly. The ongoing flashbacks, hypervigilence & anxiety are part of my daily existence. How are others dealing with this?

Everything is a trigger, even the totally quiet moments. Especially the quiet moments... How can I convey what I see & feel to those who have no clue? No one wants to believe something satanic could happen in their neighborhood. I didn't either at one time. I was held for over 3 days. I am looking for hope. I lost my medical career after many years because I had a flashback at work. Told me I was a liability. Now I just exist. Fragmented memories & constant panic. How can I make things better? I'm exhausted. I do see a therapist, but cannot find a therapist who has dealt with this.

[nie]

Welcome to the forum. I hope that you can find help and hope here.

[She Cat]

Welcome to the forum....

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hi nonabug, Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. I hope you can find good information here to help you deal with your symptoms.

Peace
Tammy

[hollyberry]

welcome to the forum

[anthony]

Hi nonabug, welcome to the forum. Firstly you are now amongst those who know trauma first hand. Whilst you feel vulnerable at present being here, you are actually among people who truly understand what your living, because we live it or live with it for carers. Do you feel that people simply dismiss you because you feel these things due to satanic rituals, or do you feel more patronised simply because those nearest to you do not believe you?

[nonabug5]

I am not sure about anything anymore. I tried to tell my doctor what happened a few months after the incident. I wanted to get checked for STDs, etc... He acted like I was a total nut. "That's really hard to believe......, Are you sure that's what happened?......, I never heard of anything like that around here....." I've kept quiet since then, but since I posted here, I have been hopitalized for depression. Ironically, one of the nurses remembers his church warning about cult activity about the same time I was taken. Finally, some validation. I am suppose to follow up with group therapy, but am most unsure about the idea. These people have no idea what I'm talking about.

[Lisa]

Hi nonabug.. satanic abuse is hard for some people to accept in society at the current time. But it does happen, and it is recognised that it does happen. Whether people want to believe it happens where you are or not... it does happen, and it happened to you. the most horrific things imaginable, and the unimaginable and beyond, happens in the world. Sadly. Here, you don't need to worry what people think, if they believe you etc. We all have PTSD for different reasons, but we all understand what it's like to have it.

Glad you found us. Welcome.

[mightsurvive]

hiya nonabug5
and welcome to you. Im a new member today too but people have been so kind and caring already. Sorry to hear what you have been through. I have been through something similar but not satanic ritual ab**e. I just wanted you to know that yes its hard for people to accept what happens to us because they dont want to believe that the world is so cruel. So they just refuse to beleive that it is possible. Beleive me i have had 2 doctors tell me that what happened to me is not possible and cant have happened. But it did. And a help line worker too. Its hard when you go to these people thinking surely they should understand and they dont. It a form of denial of reality on their behalf. Not that thats an excuse for a doctor to treat us like that because it isnt. I'm now taking one doctor to court for it. Not that i believe in doing that but because she made me so much worse than i already was even tho i didnt think that was possible. But enough about me. I just wanted you to know that you arent the only one who has to cope with not being believed and the harm that that can do to us. Unfortunately its all too common. and youre not alone here. If you ever want to talk im here for you. Please remeber that.
Hoping you have as quick a recovery as possible
Take care

[dljwhitewolf]

Hi nonabug, just curious, did you get medical attention while in hospital care? lol
Love ya girl, this is the place to be, and Anthony is a cool person to use as a sounding board, as well as all the members, they truly care, love ya girl,
Donna-Lynne

[dljwhitewolf]

Nonabug5, been there done that even was the star in a child porn snuff film and even picked out the ornaments for the set up, I thought we were going to have a halloween party, well, it was no party, my brother and I were married upside down tied to burning crosses, and then some,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,too graphic for others, I understand, I'm still waiting for my check to come in the mail, boy are they lazy at the accountants office.
love ya hun