New Here - PTSD From Violent Crime

[WorkingThruIt]

Hello! I am glad I found this forum. It is reassuring to not feel like the only one. My name is Mary and I live in the 'burbs of DC. I am a mom to one and work as a nanny. I have a partner, who seems to be doing her very best to understand all of this.

I was recently diagnosed with PTSD from an incident when I was 12. I awoke to find a strange man in my bed who attacked me. I remember most of it in disturbing detail and some of it I can't remember at all. I really thought he was going to kill me. Even worse, I feared he had already killed my sister. No one died, but here I sit almost 20 years later with the same crippling fears and stress that I had back then. Some aspects are better (no more rituals!) and some are worse, like the guilt and fear of dying. I recently started therapy after years and years of waiting to "get over it".


Thanks for listening

Mary

[hollyberry]

I'm glad you found the forum. Holly.

[ruddy]

Welcome to the forum Mary!

I also waited decades to "get over it". There is lots of good information here. I hope you find the help you need.

[She Cat]

Hi Mary,

A lot of us "Wait to get over it." Then we find out we can't. I am glad that you have found the forum too. It's a great place with tons of help and hope.

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hi Mary, Welcome to the forum. I hope you find all of the help you need here.

Tammy

[anthony]

Hi Mary, welcome to the forum. So what aspects don't you remember? You say a stranger... how did this stranger get in your bed to begin with?

[WorkingThruIt]

The memory seems to have a blank space. It is hard to explain. I tried to explain it in another thread in PTSD chat. I remember every little detail to a point and then nothing until I am yelling and he is running out of my room.

It appears as though he broke in through the back door of our house and found my bedroom. I didn't wake up until he was already in my bed. Afterwards, I was able to think back and piece together some strange things that happened. There was someone I remember seeing for several days in a row just sitting in his car. Someone was also in the house earlier in the week. I remember my father calling and reporting the first break-in to the police. I can't say with certainty, but I think he was there to look around.

[anthony]

Mary, that is a good start atleast. A good way to help yourself is write down your events in a story, then read it. You read it over and over and typically you will remember pieces. You then rewrite the entire thing adding the remember pieces, and repeat the process over and over until you have the entire story. By rereading it each time over and over it triggers your brain to remember, to release more aspects little by little until you have a full story.

[datfing]

Mary, I took a long time to start talking about the things that happened in my childhood. I felt ashamed and dirty. Now I know that that is not true. My foster father also used to come into my room. The social worker kept telling me that eventually I had found a safe home. Therefore I was angry with my family as well as with the system. I am glad you have had the courage to enter this forum.

[becvan]

Welcome to the forum!

bec