Do You Have the Urge to Run When Upset?

[batgirl]

When things get tough for me, when I have arguments with family members or other issues I'm dealing with, I often feel like running away. I don't mean running away in the cosmic sense of denying what I'm feeling. I mean I physically want to leave my house, get in my car and keep driving, or walk away if I don't have my car, and just keep walking forever. It's a very strong feeling, I really struggle to not give in to it. I have taken off a few times, usually just for a few hours. It seems to calm me, though I inevitably end up hurting myself (I get ill, or put myself in some danger without meaning to) and making my family worry. I am trying very hard not to do it anymore.

Anyhow, I'm just wondering if anyone else has this urge to run off when upset. Thanks.

[Nicolette]

Interestingly enough Evie, I have 'run away' at times. This usually happened when I was down and couldn't handle facing the problem or situation any more at that point in time. At times I have just gone outside and sat in the car. I also find driving very soothing when I am upset and need to get away.

[batgirl]

Oh that's interesting. Though you don't hurt yourself when you run though? At least it doesn't sound like it. I seem to space out and not care what happens to me. Like for instance, when I ran off shortly after my brother's death, I walked all night on the highway, and then hitched a ride with a trucker. I was totally numb and I didn't care what happened to me. I know I was in shock from Brian being dead but I seem to always do that, just kind of dissociate or something when I am running and I end up sick or in danger.

[Nicolette]

No, I didn't hurt myself and was fully aware of what I was doing between the tears. It usually happened in situations where I felt abused either verbally or physically....thankfully it hasn't happened in a long time. Admittedly I have had similar feelings to get out if I was somewhere else where I felt awful..it's an urge to get away, not a thought to leave.

[batgirl]

Okay I think I see what you mean, thanks. I think when I do it, I feel helpless and trapped, and running is an escape. I totally go on auto-pilot though, which is pretty scary for my family.

[Claire]

I have a lot of trouble not running when I'm at the therapist's office. For me its a way to great rid of the energy. I need to get out, get away. Running fits with the way I feel. Its like an explosion of energy.

Going for a walk/run or drive is good for me. Sometimes I need to be outside too, in the countryside, free, away from everything.

[Marlene]

The urge to run is related to my stress level. They go up at pretty much at the same rate. It's actually been a couple of months since I've felt the urge to run.

I'm getting better at talking to my husband about it. At first he kind of freaked when I told him. I had to tell him just because I felt like running didn't mean I was going to. Now when I tell him, he talks to me and helps me to deal with what's stressing me out.

Lisa

[Grama-Herc]

Unfortunately, running was something I was extremely good at for a very long time. Any time an issue popped up I was gone, in the physical sense. I would move, quit jobs,divorce husbands--whatever I saw as a threat, real or not.

Any time I found myself in stress I would run. Running was my answer to everything. Since therapy and meds have finally gotten my urge to run under control and my life in so sort of order, I have only felt the urge to run a couple of times and was able to reason myself out of it. Thank goodness

[Damiea]

Eve I don't have PTSD but my whole life I would run whenever I got upset or just felt I had to get away. When younger from 10 - 15 it was to a place I had in the woods that was "mine" a place that felt safe and "away" from everything. In my teens I would run to friends houses sometimes for days or weeks. I didn't graduate high school because of a time I ran with a friend to Massachusetts. I came back later and went back to high school for the last half of the year. Then I got pregnant and ended up running again with friend after a traumatic time period to Fl. and again didn't graduate high school. I didn't come home until I was almost 6 months pregnant and only then because I had to realize what I was doing was going to affect my child and not just myself from then on.
Have you ever thought to work with this feeling by making some sort of safe place to be able to run to? rather then trying so hard to fight it? I know it can be almost painful to fight it sometimes with an almost claustrophobic feeling if you make yourself stay. Anyways just a thought as to how you can work on dealing with it.

[sunnydaze]

I use ro run away or drive around to avoid arguing. I had a safe place in a park, I often visited. My type of running became moving. I have moved 26 times which added up to every 2 years. My husband and I finally bought a house and he asked me if i feel like moving again can we just paint making the home look different. This spring was 2 years living here. I told him I was getting bored which meant moving. He immediately painted. This spring will mean more painting. At least I get the house remodeled.
sunnydaze

[Damiea]

LOL to funny Sunnydaze.. I remodel my house like every spring too. Never thought that maybe it could be some urge to change my environment to satisfy some feeling of restlessness.

[hodge]

I've only been feeling this way lately. I actually have taken off for short drives when angry or too frustrated to deal with a situation, but I wouldn't say "many times," just a few. It's because I feel under too much pressure at home lately. I often wish I could run away to my dad's. Blah, probably too much information for a poll. I should journal about it.

[grace5555]

Evie - I am there now with this and fighting not to run. Sometimes I will even physically run away which as you know with asthma has destructive effects which is probably my intent? I will post this and won't delete - i will, i will...

[Lisa]

I used to run away and walk the streets very late at night. But over the years I have wanted to run away.... forever like. pack up, new name, new identity, new everything.

[batgirl]

Wow thanks all for the answers, sorry I haven't responded much. I've been very unsure of myself with responding to threads lately, even my own!! Anyways it's been really great to hear, once again, that I'm not the only one who does this. And Lisa I really relate to the walking the streets at night. I used to do that a LOT when I lived alone in the city. I walked through dangerous neighbours and everything, didn't care at all, I was just so depressed and anxious that I didn't care about anything at all. And Claire, totally relate to the energy thing too. It feels like pent-up energy for me too oftimes.

[spiritofnow]

I have just manged for the 1st time not to run away - my partner and I seperated! I am still here and have not quit anything - amazing! But yeah I would normally run and not look back!

[coolgirl]

I don't run, necessarily, as much as i avoid things that remind me of things i want to forget.

[LostInTheFog]

Fight or flight, that is definitely me. But it is mostly a feeling inside these days, wanting, aching, to run far away, esp. when the s-kidz are raging.... but my physical body stays stuck like super glue to my bed : / My logical mind knows I have nowhere to go.

[Chissi]

Wow! I am amazed, I am a new maybe member, I'm being checked out, and I thought I was the only person in the world who wants to quit, sell the townhouse and hit the road! I won't do it, because I can't out-run depression, but it sure would feel good at times.

I like the mini-run-aways that were discussed. I don't mean mentally. I mean physically taking a day or two and going anywhere that is mind changing, beach, mountains, even museum might do in a pinch!

Chissi

[cherryblossom]

I don't really know what is going on with me at the moment. But I have an incredible urge to run away. I don't have any plans. I don't know where I would go. I just feel like i need to get away from these 4 walls and get away from me. I know it's not the answer. How can I run away from myself? Where ever I go, my broken mind will come too.

[morgan]

I usually start to run, (get in my truck and start the engine) then suddenly, sadly realize that I've no place left to go... That is the pathetic truth of it.

[JustJane]

I have a place to go - but it's over a thousand miles away and buried in snow right now. It's my happy place and it's not set up for year round living. I'm not even sure if it would be my safe haven if I were there year-round. The best I can do is spend the summers there.

There is no well, no running water, no septic system, no power, no heat and no air. It's as raw as the land was when the indians roamed free. It's my sanctuary, my own private campground just for me.

[Cindy]

We all need a safe place in the physical world or in a mindscape.

I have learned to run as a safety valve. Before during my many trauma's it was survival - today it is time and distance to gain perspective or try to center myself.

I have a series of places to go, a day retreat (2hr drive to a stream in Vermont in a National Forest); a local state park (5 min. away - another stream); Multiple days - I go for Ocean and Beach: warm or cold.

Night time can be harder to get out - I have the woods behind my house, I actually have place a chair there about a hundred yards from my back door :). Car ride to anywhere with soothing music.

When I wake with severe panic and anxiety sometimes the only thing I want and need is to go outside and breathe, seeing the sky tells me I'm free and I'm here - not where my head is.

My mindscapes; snorkelling in the Caribbean, Sitting on a hot ocean beach, are used to release me anytime, anywhere. Whenever I am imploding in a stressful setting (for me) I try to regain composure by drifting off into the ocean setting which has a deep restorative meaning to me. I consciously have to use this to 1. get to the dentist, 2. stay at the dentist, 3. manage my sheer panic throughout the dentist visit. (And this is with sedatives :()

I don't look at this as running away or denying but a management tool for all occasions.

[linasmom]

um, a huge yes from me. I always run, I've been running since I was 15. I've run half way across the country and back. God, that is all I do is run.

[TLight]

Second that.........I run to other jobs a lot. Of course, I was being abused, so that made sense.
At home, when I'm upset with a 'mate' I get in the car and drive somewhere green. I always feel calmer in the green.

Of course, my ultimate run scenario is an attempt. That's always what I have on my mind. Just blend my molecules into the green...........my place of heaven

[Cindy]

It's funny, when I hear about adult missing persons - say 25 -60, I always wonder if they did what has always run through my mind. Just leave work some day and keep driving until I reach the Pacific Ocean and a warm sunny place of refuge. Get a job and watch the sunset everyday from the beach. It's great to think about but what would I lose?

[KT229]

Running (driving)... right after I left my X and was on my own with 4 kids. If I felt the least bit afraid. I'd pack them in the car with blankets and pillows and drive for hours. Sometimes sitting in parking lots in the middle of the night. I can't count the times I've put myself in dangerous places. When I would have bad dreams about what happened. I would wake up terrified. Sometimes I wouldn't even get dressed. Just hop in the car in my jammies and drive as far and as fast as I could to anywhere. Well now running has me on the "get one more ticket" and you're not driving anywhere list. I've slowed down. But still occassionally run. I don't know about ya'll but when I'm like that. I'm just functional enough to drive, I'm there but not. I just feel that when I'm going fast and in the middle of nowhere I feel safe. No one and nothing can hurt me. I've made a conscience effort to stop. Like tonight. I want to disappear. The biggest thing that keeps me from running... my kids, my boyfriend. They keep me grounded. When their not around; or if I'm really having a "moment". Well it's to the bat mobile robin.

[Lucky Laser]

I HATE arguing and tension and all that stuff so as soon as something like that starts I start heading towards the door. This is tough because while I know I am just going off to calm down, my husband sometimes sees it as an act of war. =p To me it is a "time out" and to him, nothing better than the silent treatment. So I fight the urge and try not to go... and if I do he tries harder to just let me go. Its a work in progress.

[nightowl52]

I felt like running the first 3 or 4 years & I still believe I would have been better off leaving this state & going to the desert at times.

[sundance]

Heh, I 'always' ran and thought it was normal. Wow. And, like someone else said, I often found driving around or even just being in the car was calming for me. I thought I was just hyper-sensitive.

I could look around and see that not everyone ran when they felt abused. But then I would 'remind' myself of my 'sensitivity'. Hehe, there is more looping around that goes out from here but I know now that these are just rationalization and that I don't have to leave at all. Of course when the anxiety/pain is great enough sometimes the only thing I can do is just sit still. It's probably better than running off, though.

[nor]

Always.

I am finding out (with therapy), that is how I have handled all relationships once I feel threatened. As soon as something is said that triggers my fear of abandonment, I'm the first one to go. That basically applies to every friend relationship I have ever had.

Gotta run away from the situation before someone else does it to me first. That's how I "control" the situation.

Actually trying to do it right now, with running away from the therapy sessions. I guess he has treaded on shaky ground, and I need to get the hell out of there for awhile. I probably shouldn't have, but I'm not ready to completely face what we discussed. I'll go back (I always do, as this isn't the first time I have "run away" from therapy), and I'll have to take it just a little bit slower.

Unfortunately, even though I run away from the source, I can't run away from my mind.....

nor

[Shoshin]

I want to run RIGHT NOW. But I have a friend who is in bad shape, and looking out for him is keeping me anchored for now. Funny how I care for myself best when I am caring for someone else first.

[LostInTheFog]

I know what you mean - I did the same thing this week, I had an appt with a new therapist and have been waiting a long time and actually chickened out and cancelled. [because of $ reasons too, my rationale] A kind of 'surprise' therapy session brought my symptoms waay out about 2 yrs ago, and yes, that put me on shaky ground to say the least~!! That pesky non-trust... it's hard, but we just have to keep at it : ]

[nor]

[because of $ reasons too, my rationale] it's hard, but we just have to keep at it : ]

Boy, do I hear you there Lost! I am in the midst of running away from my T-I canceled this week's appt too.

I use the money aspect whenever I can-to "justify" my not going to therapy and "saving" a few dollars.

Anything to rationalize my running away tendency.

But I am calming down, and realize that the only person I am hurting is myself and that I am just running away from the truth. I have to "trust (?)" the T with helping me to make sense of all the confusion.

I think they call it a "flight or fight" reaction (??) I was never a fighter, but am slowly getting there...

Good luck to you too!

[LostInTheFog]

that reminds me, I gueessss I better call and reschedule..
this weekend was not so great, stayed in my BR all day yesterday!
another reminder...
soon I'll to running TO the therapist!!!

[bextehude]

Hey I'm new here but I'm just going to jump right in and answer this question :]

Yeah, I always have the urge to run off. When my family is mad at me because of an anger outburst or something, I just want to run for miles and miles. Sometimes my anger could power that. Once I ran and I was so angry that I felt like I could run forever.