Introduction Of Me - PTSD From Vehicle Accident

[lizagirrl]

Hello all,

My name is Liz. I developed PTSD after a vehicle accident that left me with a severe leg injury. My background is one of poverty, alot of moving. Managed to raise myself into a good job, a college education, break free of what my life was. Then one day I was walking home, a man in a car stopped looking where he was going while I was crossing the street. Next thing I know, I am maimed unable to walk, stuck in physio, hospitals, therapy. Unable to work in my field. So I came here where I can understand that I am not alone in the depression of it. After alot of hard work, I can walk, but am now afflicted with chronic pain from the accident. Like all suffers of PTSD I have good days and when the bad ones come I can barely manage to function. So I come for understanding of it all.

[Kerrie-Ann]

Hi Liz,

Welcome to the forum. Again, I am astounded by the direct impact an incident can have on a life and the lasting, often painful wake that follows. In your case you have the physical pain as well as the psychological pain as a continuing reminder. I often regularly humbled by the strength of people I meet in this forum. It takes a lot of effort and determination not to be beaten, I see my husband struggle with this every day......sometimes the demons get him, other times they don't.

Hopefully we (that is all of us on the forum) can help you by allowing you a place where you can vent - if nothing else. It does help to share, as you will see on the partners posts I am often talking to others in similiar situations to mine. There lies a common understanding I guess without the need for long winded explainations. Anyhow welcome to the forum, Anthony will be sure to say Hi - once he wakes up. Having a little afternoon nap, good for all of us when he does that, seems to take the edge of things for him.

[anthony]

Hey Liz... welcome aboard. Did you by any chance punch the driver once you where better? Kidding... (I would off though, saying that)

I often wonder why life sucks to inflict such a thing as PTSD upon us! Honestly, I think the world we currently live in is actually hell; and that we are given this chance to escape it to something better if we succeed. How we succeed, I do not know! But that is my honest impression of this world. The things people go through, and then to live with for the remainder of their days, seems like hell to me. I think we could all say, PTSD is hell.

So, what did you do before the accident? (college / employment) It was obviously something that doesn't allow for PTSD / your injuries. Saying that though, for everything we get thrown at us, there is always something we can do to make ourselves feel better. What you need to remember Liz, is that you are here, ie. still here, you haven't taken the easy way out, your fighting yourself and the people around you constantly, all for the hope of a better outcome and some sort of normality within your life once again. Well, that is how I see it anyway.

You have already stood yourself out as being stronger than most, by fighting to walk again, which I imagine is no easy feat on its own, your struggling with PTSD along with this, and still fighting to be the person you once where, or atleast close enough too it. The biggest step is always talking about it, getting things off your chest, and seeking help from others, either specialist or persons who have similar traumatic experiences. You have honestly made a huge leap just being here. You have made a tremendous effort just surviving what you have been through, and honestly, deserve a huge congratulations and big pat on your back for a job well done. I honestly believe anyone who seeks help, whether forced or proactive, they deserve to sit back and really reward themselves for "just doing it". With PTSD, well, walking through a door, or just opening my mouth with someone new can often be some of the hardest things I do nowadays, let alone all the rest of the symptoms that we share.

So, what now for life from you?

[Kerrie-Ann]

Liz,

Just to add to Anthony's note..........he is not kidding he really would punch the driver and was going to, in fact, after a serious motorbike accident a couple of years ago. Fortunately either someone or injuries prevented him from doing so.

[anthony]

That was someone, even though I had bad injuries, I had Dave sitting on top of me holding me down, cause I was gonna kill her for being so dumb to panic and get me wiped up on the bike.

[lizagirrl]

Your words give me courage, as to maiming the driver who hit me, I would have loved to..the @!$% didn't even come to ask if I was okay. His daughter who was in the car tried to tell me she knew first aid, and then proceeded to tell me she had to "move me off the road" My foot was pinned under the car for a few minutes before they had the decency to get out of the car after hitting me. She tried taking off my boot on my swelling foot. I was in shock and still managed to "re-educate" her on the consequences of touching me. At the time I worked with the CAA auto club (emergency road service dispatching) I went to college to dispatch for 911 Police Emergency. Needless to say it is an already high stress job, combined with 12 hrs of sitting. Physical limitations prevent me from pursuing it now combined with the PTSD. Years of preparing myself for this career eliminated in a short time. So now I am trying to find something I can do to continue. Struggling with the grief of it's loss is the hardest thing. Grieving for a dream I had nurtured and loved. It's hard, really hard.

[anthony]

I can understand what your going through actually, in giving up your work... as I and most have been there when PTSD has been at its worst. Its not necessarily the end though, as many with PTSD can do some work... maybe something from home, online business, web design, programming, etc etc... many of the best in those industries work from home, which makes handling PTSD a much better aspect of your day to day life.

Saying that though, many also still work a normal job... I guess the only problem I have noticed with that though, is they tend not to be able to handle a job and relationship at the same time... it seems to be one or the other! I would like to see someone succeed at both those with PTSD actually... that would be quite refreshing.

Is it possible that you go back to the type of work that interested you the most, on a part-time basis... ie. one or two hours a day, and try and slowly ease yourself back into it. Jobs cater for injuries, as the facts from studies have shown, when injured, get back to work, get your mind going to keep away from depression. Some take that to the extreme though, and bury themselves in work to bury many other problems, which isn't really healthy either.

There are lots of solutions to your problem Liz, and counsellors / physicians near you could certainly help with "return to work" type programs and so forth. Only you will actually know whether your ready for it or not... and if not, then I would say DON'T try it. If that is the case, try something for yourself, ie. online business model... you have pulled yourself so far through you life already, it shows your one very willing, determined person to succeed. That is 90% of the battle already fought for you. Now you just need to fill in that extra 10%, and get something going to keep your mind amused and away from depression.

Believe it or not, from what your writing here, your coming across as a very strong, determined person who doesn't accept failure easy... so don't let it get you now with PTSD. If most with PTSD had your initial upbringing that taught you how to succeed even if the odds are against you, you are a walking example that it can be done if you put your mind too it. Well done Liz...

[anthony]

Oh... that people responsible for causing accidents thing, really pisses me at times, especially when they think about themselves, and not the person they just hit. ie. your accident, my motobike accident. I was going to kill her (driver) if she came near me, or I got to her first. They had to pin me down, even with all my injuries, as adrenalin kicked in and I was mad.

[camry]

I accidently decked the wrong person once!

A car came around a bend on my side of a country highway causing me to hit the gravel embankment & to roll my car end to end 3 times down a hill. I was lucky that my passenger somehow grabbed me during the roll as my seatbelt flung off & pushed my head down on his lap, because my side of the roof was completely flattened.

When I got out of the car there was a person that had stopped to help us, but in my daze I thought he was the one responsible. Wham! With all my adrenaline induced mite I punched him in the face, fracturing his jaw.

I was so lucky he was undertanding about it. But I felt really terrible afterwards :(

[lizagirrl]

I couldn't move when I got hurt and I was in shock, even laughed with the firefighters, but there was a lady who lived in the area that saw the accident who came running. She went up one side and down the other of the guy who hit me. At that moment, even though I did not know her, I loved her. The shock wore off when I got to the hospital, I started hyperventilating, just couldn't catch my breath.

I will never forget the ambulance driver. He stayed, spoke with me, calmed me down. I was in the hospital for 8 days, in rehab for 3 months. Weaned myself off pain meds, replaced them with alcohol. I hit bottom before I went to therapy 2 years later. My lawyer recomended her. She literally saved my life, I stopped looking for reasons to live, I had lost my hope. Gradually, she worked with me, helped me handle the anger, identify it and grief; it's ugly cousin. About once a week I used to think of ways to die (thought, never tried) I was drunk every day, in pain all the time. But I had no choice but to go on.

As warped as this may sound, I thought that if I didn't go on, the guy that hit me would have won. I would have let this man I didn't know, a stranger, steal my life from me. And he didn't have that much meaning for me. But now, I go on for me. And in my learning about PTSD, I hope to help someone else someday.

[anthony]

And in my learning about PTSD, I hope to help someone else someday.

I believe you just have, and are, with sharing your experience here Liz. I have already gotten a couple of things from you, as stated in other posts, which is excellent for me. The one thing I know for sure, is that I relate best with those that have PTSD, when talking about these specific issues, as I don't need to clarify myself, cause everyone already knows exactly what I'm feeling, as we all have the same symptoms, the same effects, all from our different trauma/s.

[kevin66]

The person who hit me whilst driving on the wrong side of the road conveniently had the presence of mind to move her car from the impact site.

All in time before any residents came out to see or the police arrived.

Nice.

i

[rosered]

A quote from Anthony's posting:
their days, seems like hell to me. I think we could all say, PTSD is hell.I often wonder why life sucks to inflict such a thing as PTSD upon us! Honestly, I think the world we currently live in is actually hell; and that we are given this chance to escape it to something better if we succeed. How we succeed, I do not know! But that is my honest impression of this world. The things people go through, and then to live with for the remainder of their lives

Anthony's statement about PTSD being hell is meaningful to me. Sometimes I almost wonder if perhaps I really died when I hit the floor the day of my traumatic incident and I'm actually in purgatory or hell working off my karma or whatever or learning/feeling what I need to know to be more human.


I know these feelings are just thoughts though. I know I'm alive! Having this disorder is hellish though because one is aware much of the time that they are having reactions that are very different than they used to have, but find it very difficult to change those reactions.

I didn't mention that the student that assaulted me did not intend to do so. It is a long story:angry-fla. The person (my teaching assistant :eek:) who precipitated the incident is who I feel very negative feelings toward. So sorry to be negative, but she is one of types of people who sit on their arces at work doing nothing, cause trouble by running their mouths while doing nothing and then bragging about how much they do.

Because my student ( an eleven yr. old girl :redface:) did not intend to hurt me, it kind of makes it like a car accident where the driver was not being responsible, but did not intend to hurt someone.

Thanks once again for reading about my feelings.

[Terry]

Welcome Liz lots of good people here.

[beatle_bailey]

I was the couse of most of my phys ical injuries but My worst was hitting a telephone pole in 1975 ,,, got real mamed on that 1 ,,, boy do I know about that phys therapy stuff ,, and yes the cronic pain stinks ,,,
but welcome to the forum ,, hope you get what you need hear ,, God Bless
:hello: Beatle

[vcc123]

Hi Liz, welcome to the forum. Every day is a battle, but remember we're here for you when you need us. Hang in there with us !! :wink:

[slhlilbit]

My daughter was in a bad accedent in 2003 she was the passanger in a car the driver was drunk the car was new seatbelts falce latched and airbags failed to deploy , her back was broke and she was ejected for the car. she is now a parapaligic. thank God she is still with us. i know she has ptsd but she is not ready to admit it. My grandson is 5 and im affraid if she didnt have him she might not be doing as well as she is. I cant even try to say i know how you feel becouse i dont but i know how i feel about my daughter and i just want you to know that i care and i know you are going to get to the otherside of this as you are strong just admitting the ptsd is a big step in the right direction.:claps: