Am I Dependant or Addicted?

[pandora]

There have been some posts lately and this has already been a concern for me and I need a little advice.......

As some of you may know..I have a pretty serious back injury and I see pain control specialists.....I take huge amouts of pain killers.....40mg oxycontin three times a day with percocet..one every 8 hours as needed. I know some days I have taken too many and have admitted it to my rommate and my doctor. The doctor says we will deal with this at a later date???? I am scared to death and on the days that I vomit a lot or it is 1-2 days before the prescription is due....I really feel deathly ill.

I also know that they numb me and I like that euphoric feeling...so am I addicted ar dependant.....or is this just me catastrophizing and worrying too much.....I really am lost but so worried. Does anone have any advice?

:crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy:

[Jim]

Uncertain how to advise you Pandora. However. Will say I understand somewhat, as Evie needs to be on morphine frequently. She definitely gets dependent and needs to be weaned off. It's a thorny situation, as you need the medication. Would advise you to speak to your physician more about your concerns. Don't let him brush you off.

Jim.

[anthony]

I don't believe anyone could tell you either unless physically standing in front of you and watching your behaviour. Your describing some pretty ugly aspects of medication though, which says to me you need to maybe seek another physician considering yours obviously brushed you aside by informing you they will deal with your overdosing at a later date. Sounds like a doctor that doesn't give a shit IMHO. Sorry, but this physician meets my exact criteria of a doctor who should not have a license to practice medicine with such flagrant disregard for a patients overdosing when approached by it.

[pandora]

I need to work on this but I am not sure how. My family doctor and psychologist know...my family md reorders two weeks at a time so it doesn't get too out of hand. They just don't seem as concerned as I do but i just feel so overwhelmed and stuck. My back really does hurt and I need them to function. I am not overdosing in the way that I am trying to kill myself......the pain control doctor also told me.."I have people that take triple what you are taking" I have been a palliative care nurse and never gave this much oral medication (injectable or IV...but they were actively dying.....I just feel a bit lost.

I know I have to work on this....the plan is to decrease them again after my next lumbar epidural and joint block which is March 26...I am still confused as to whether I am doing the right thing. UUUGGGHHHH...this is just frustrating me. I just don't understand....this has been going on 2 years this July and they just keep increasing the dose when the epidurals have won off.

[tude]

Pandora, I can't answer that for you. I do know taking drugs, even if they are taken as prescribed, creates a physical dependence. In other words, the body needs x amount of a drug to function. When that x amount isn't met, the body goes through withdrawl. As for mental/psychological dependence, that has never been as clear cut for me so I am not even going to try.

For me, I am extremely careful taking prescription narcotics. I have a strict rule not to take any unless I am literally in tears. Then again, I don't deal with chronic pain either. I understand chronic pain control is tricky and difficult to treat.

There are other concerns besides dependency that I would be concerned about as well. Like, how can this affect your kidney and liver function? I am sure you have tried alternative pain control methods. Whereas those methods were not as effective in the past, maybe they will now?

Bottom line, if you are concerned, that does warrant sharing that concern with a chemical dependency professional.

[pandora]

I am considering that tude.....after March 26 because right now my mobility is quite limited. Thank you everyone for your comments.

[Kathy]

I also believe that perhaps you should seek the advice of another physician Pandora. He should not be simply brushing you off with "we'll deal with this later". It is a valid concern on your part. Tude has also made some good points regarding the physical effects of these pain medications. Unfortunately, you do need medication for pain, however a new and more concerned physician may help with adjusting medication or even changing to something different perhaps? If you are dependent, you will need to be treated very differently than someone who is dependent on a drug they do not need at all! Do please seek another opinion, and take care.

[Seeking_Nirvana]

I used to feel this way too. Finally when Vicodin started causing chest pains I decreased my dosage and then told my doctor about it.

I switched to Darvocet and I usually take about 3 a month (give or take). However, I take about 800mg-1200mg of Advil everyday, which caused Acid Reflux.

Some times I wonder if the Darvocet would be better for me than the Advil. But I have issues with addiction to narcotics, so it's a double edge sword. It's a very difficult thing to deal with when you need the medication but also addicted to it.

Best of luck
Tammy