Watching My Traumatic Events on Video

[WigansBrianPotter]

I have had 2 major impacts in my life that left me suffering with PTSD, I am on the waiting list for CBT, I find myself watching videos of 1 off my incidents, and videos of similar incidents to my 2nd event. As much as I want to let the feelings and thoughts and visions go away I keep watching and reliving the events and both events now merge in my sleep I have come to mix the bad dreams up between them, I know its not doing me any good watching videos of the events but I cant help it. Is this normal???

[Seeking_Nirvana]

I don't know if it's normal for non PTSDers. But I still have news clipping articles from my father's murder, and trials. When ever I get upset or miss him I go back and read all of the articles.

He was in the local news paper for two weeks straight and then when the murder went to trial it was in the news paper again.

I think that I should throw it away but I cant. It is a sense of holding onto the pain and his memory, or a way to prove that I'm not lying about my pain? I'm not sure?

My plan is to throw those papers away some day soon, as I was able to shred my ex-husband's death certificate about 4 months ago after holding onto it for 6 years. I think it boils down to letting go. It seems most people like to live in the past for some reason?

If you can rid yourself of those videos do it ASAP. I don't have any regrets of shredding that death certificate.

Peace
Tammy