I'm Going to Have an Attack - Guaranteed

[Grama-Herc]

On Saturday morningI am going to have to take one of my very loved cats to the local shelter. She can't stay with us any longer and it is my fault.

I had to move from our large and roomy 2 bedroom apartment because I had to have mother move in with me and space is now at a premium.

We are now suffering from an overcrowding situation and the 3 cats just are not adjusting. The tension between these cats is intense and today they fighting started. The youngest female attacked the 13 year old male persian, twice.

I have known in my heart that this was going to happen. I do not want to do this but it is the only fair thing to do---for all 3 of them.

They are all suffering. The youngest is the most agressive right now, so I think she is the best one to remove.

I have never been to the shelter. I don't know how to get there even with directions. I am already in a state of panic and anxiety along with the guilt of what I'm about to do.

This weekend is going to really suck! I am so upset over this but I really have no choice. Keeping all 3 is unfair to all of them. This way, she can go to a home with room to be a kitty and the 2 boys still here will have the room they need to be kitties too!

Dam it this sucks. In the big picture of life I know this is not very important but it sure feel like sh#*t to me.

OH GOD I HATE TO HAVE TO DO THIS ! ! ! ! ! !

[linasmom]

Herc,

I'm so sorry. You are doing what's best for all the kitties, just remember that - you are being a responsible pet owner. If we were neighbors, I'd take kitty for you, I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff. :Hug_emoticon:

Best,
Rachel

[Grama-Herc]

Oh Rachel, how kind of you. This really sucks. But I Know you are right and so am I. This is the only thing I can do.

But I will be having my breakdown. I think I will schedule it for tomorrow afternoon. Then when mom takes her nap she won't notice the "pillow screaming"

[TLight]

Let yourself grieve. Another grieving. So much d*mn grieving....

I just adopted a cat from the shelter. Fang (aka Bud), he's here with me and happy after a couple of weeks.

His family gave him up because he was fighting with the other kitties. Funny coincidence?

[She Cat]

Herc,

I do know how hard this is. I had to bring 2 of mine to the shelter once. Long story, long time ago, but none the less it still hurt. I sat on the floor in the shelter for an hour holding them and crying, till they finally told me I had to leave.

Do your grieving, crying and screaming, it's good for the soul......Many warm soft hugs coming your way......

She

[Grama-Herc]

Thanks guys. I knew you would understand and be supportive. The 1st thing that came into my mind when I woke up this morning, I can't do it. I just can't take her.

But I know that for the health and wellfare of not only my mom, myself and the other kitties but for Fancy. She can't be very happy either.

As we all know, living under stress is not healthy. I don't think it matters whether you are animal or human. Stress is stress and not good for you.

This has put a heavy burden on me and the guilt is tremendous, but I know it is the right thing to do. It just hurts to much!

[morgan]

I'm so sorry you're going through this Herc. Giving up an animal is like losing a part of your family. I've been there too. I too send my hugs your way. Take care of yourself during this painful event and remember that we are here for you.:Hug_emoticon:

You are in my thoughts, Morgan

[TLight]

Herc, thinking about you and what you have to do today.

In my thoughts!

[grace5555]

:Hug_emoticon::Hug_emoticon::Hug_emoticon:

[Grama-Herc]

Well, I was right, I'm in a raging panic/anxiety attack.

But I am so proud of how I handled myself going to the SPCA and turning my beautiful kitty over to them. Of course, before it was over I was crying, but I managed to keep it under control until I got home. Much to my surprise I've yet to break down. I am numb. Totally numb. I am so dam sad. My heart is aching-----guess I'm not as numb as I thought I was. But no tears yet.

I know in my heart I've done the right thing for all concerned. Any question about that was answered by the way my other 2 cats are changing. They are relaxed. No pacing. Didn't realize they were pacing til they stopped. They are fine. Mom is fine. I on the other hand, well, I'm a wreck.

[She Cat]

Herc,

You did what was right, what you had to do. Yup it hurts, and you deserve a good cry for the loss of your kitty. She will find a good home, and she will be happy.

Hang in there....

Hugs....

[pandora]

Herc, I hope you are feeling better.......

I have two cats and a lot of the places in the paper say no pets....I don't want to get rid of mine!!!!! This story makes me sad.

[2quilt]

I had to do the same thing a few years ago, Herc. The new third kitty was starting fights and finally when she attacked my Valentine's Day dozen roses vase, I lost control and spanked her. I had to take her back to the humane society that day, Valentine's Day, and tell them to get her a home where she is the only cat. When we were alone, she was wonderful, but when she had to share me with two others, she fought them and drew lots of blood. I cried and cried all day.

[Grama-Herc]

Pandora

This story makes me sad to BUT there is a silver lining toall this. The stress level of my other 2 kitties is almost -O-.

They have stopped pacing. I didn't realize, but they were pacing almost constantly.

The male persian BC is now visible. He was always in hiding. I thought that was what he wanted Wrong! He was in hiding.

Hercules has been looking for the missing cat, but it is more of an on guard type of where is she.

I feel very good about the decision I made to re-home Fancy. She had to be just as stressed as the remaining 2 kitties. I still have not mourned her yet abd I may never mourn her.

When I was packing for our move last July, my female persian, Lovely, got very very sick. We had to have her put down because of it. I have never really mourned her because due to her condition I was being kind to her.

But then of course, I could just be numb due to all the drastic changes that have happened to me since July. Who knows?

[TLight]

Sounds more like numb to me.

[Grama-Herc]

TLight,

I agree, numb is it. Gonna be hell to pay when all this catches up with me. Never thought about it that way.

[Grama-Herc]

Well, I think that we have all adjusted to loosing our Fancy. Everybody seems to be unstressed and I am now longer waiting for my meltdown.

I feel confident that the decision I made was the right one. . It was for the best. So I refuse to feel guilty for not feeling guilty.

So, I will now oficially cancell the melt down notice

[Nicolette]

Awesome Herc. You made a good decision for all & acted very maturely & responsibly. Some times the best things we do in life are the hardest. Well done!

[Grama-Herc]

Nicolettte THANKS

[shadowmedic]

herc-
i'm so sorry for your loss. i wish i could say something better than that to put an ease to your pain. you will be in my thoughts. respectfully, SM

[Grama-Herc]

I appreciate everyone's good wishes for me and my kitties. We seem to have recovered from Our Miss Pants leaving.

I must admit that BC and Hercules are much happier and more relaxed and just generally happier kitties. BC saw the vet yesterday and his heart condition seems to be completely under control---if not gone. He is no longer hiding and is out and about enjoying his cat tree. In fact, the vet basically released him from his 4 week check ups.

Hercules is just the same. Spoiled and demanding and the love of my life. He looked for our Fancy for a couple of days, but has stopped that completely. He is more playful these days and is interacting more with BC.

So, thank you to everyone for your support with we grieved our loss