Trying Something Different

[Lucky Laser]

Hello, I am here because I have been a bit confused and have been looking for answers. I don't usually care much for forums so this is a tad awkward for me. To say a bit about myself; I am 27 years old and a daughter, sister, wife, friend, and medical student. I am generally a happy person who enjoys exploring what life has to offer.

As to why I am here... around 10 years ago some things happened in my life and since then I have been prone to moments of irrational fear during which my heart rate increases, I feel hot and sweaty, and I want to break stuff or hit people for no good reason! I am NOT a violent person by nature (I went into medicine so I could stop pain, not cause it) and so this can be quite distressing when it happens. From what I've read, this sounds like it could be PTSD. I've never had a diagnosis, but I'm wondering if I should speak to a counselor about it and if so what would I even say?!

For the most part, the folks closest to me are understanding. Some have a little trouble with it (the person says he understands and usually does but occasionally we get into a fight because he thinks I'm accusing him of things).

That said, I'll browse around here and try to get to know you folks. :)

[shadowmedic]

lucky laser-
welcome to the forum. it sounds to me as if you probably should get checked out. it definately wouldn't hurt anything. if i can help in anyway, please let me know.
respectfully, SM

[She Cat]

Hi....

I too think that you should seek out a therapist who could better help you determine if you have PTSD.......

[upstream]

Welcome Lucky Laser! Who's your sidekick ;)

[morgan]

Hi. Welcome to the forum!

[JustJane]

So you are going by your education to self-diagnose? Not a good plan. I'm with She Cat on this one, seek out a counselor and be sure.

[Lucky Laser]

Thanks for the welcomes and advice everyone!

So you are going by your education to self-diagnose? Not a good plan. I'm with She Cat on this one, seek out a counselor and be sure.

No way JustJane, I would NEVER self-diagnose. Its something I've suspected for a few years and other people have suggested it off the records but I would never attempt to treat myself or anything. We're not even allowed to treat family members or close friends so I follow the same rules for myself.

I am just here to learn more, maybe figure out how to bring it up with a doctor or something... having been banned from talking about it at home after it happened makes it really hard for me to even bring it up because it feels so taboo... so that's where I'm at now.

[Lucky Laser]

Oh, and as an aside (aggg I can't edit my last post because I can't see it yet lol), being a 3rd year student means I don't even diagnose anyone else. I've only just started gaining clinical experience so I'm very VERY new to the medical field and patients and I feel on most days like I don't know anything! They still hold my hand every step of the way.

So that said, I'm mainly here to hopefully learn and maybe feel that I'm not alone and not crazy... I have an appointment next week with someone and I'm thinking of bringing this all up but its hard... so very hard.

[JustJane]

Just checking.

[2quilt]

i think that you should go get a diagnosis and start treatment, if you are ready to do that...
before you run into a patient who just had the same traumatic experience you did ten yrs ago. You want to be prepared for that possibility so you don't get a racing heart, violent feelings and lose control from your memories.

The first time I meet a new doctor they always want to know why I list depression and PTSD and what was the source. When i have told them the answer, I have seen everything from pure disgust to no emotional blip at all. Ya just never know how people are going to react. Maybe they were not ready to hear the facts.

[pandora]

Try to meet with a therapist qualified for CBT or at least experience with trauma histories.
Welcome!!

[Lucky Laser]

2quilt and pandora: Hi there! Thank you for your responses. I talked with my therapist last week and we are starting some therapy for me. He is pretty well versed in PTSD since it was part of his dissertation or something (I know its one of his specialty areas). That session was pretty hard so I even have an extra one scheduled this week.

Oddly enough, I don't seem to be bothered by patient's experiences even if they were similar to mine. I've learned pretty well to separate my work life from other emotions (I had to lean to do that when I was 16 and working as a CNA in a nursing home Alzheimer's unit). My problem seems to arise more when I start to talk about my own or when I think on my own experiences a lot which I don't do at work. :)