Is it Best to Remove Oneself from a Trigger?

[Lucky Laser]

I tried to search the forum for something like this but I'm rather confused on it myself... I know that there are various things that trigger this kind of irrational anger in me... it usually happens that occasionally I'll see or hear something innocent that for whatever reason floods back these thoughts (not images, but rather feelings) of something that happened to me when I was younger and I will get very angry (not the kind of angry I get when someone makes me mad... this is like... really strong anger seemingly from NOWHERE).

Most of the time, I just try to remove myself from whatever is bothering me. If its a movie, I turn it off. If its a magazine cover in a store, I can walk away. Easy enough. But sometimes it will be something of my husband's, like a song he's listening to. I don't want to make him turn it off so first I try moving to another room. If its something I can't hide from, I kind of stand there looking terrified (because for some reason its HARD to just open my mouth and say "hey, I'm scared!) until he sees me and turns it off and deals with my fear/anger. Usually I'm wanting him to destroy whatever it was that triggered me by then... but for his sake, I tell him to wait 15 minutes and ask me again.

The thing is... when I get back in a right state of mind (usually in about 10-15 minutes) I'll see how "ridiculous" the trigger was and struggle to put up with it. Especially if its something innocent like a song! Sometimes I can totally get over it, but other times it takes way longer and I have to ask him to do away with the trigger when I'm around.

I FEEL TERRIBLE ABOUT THAT!

My question is this: is it better for me to try and face the trigger? For example to keep listening to a song (after the immediate anger episode goes away of course) in an attempt to get used to it (and run the 50% chance it will trigger me again and again)? Or is it better to just avoid it completely for a really long time?

[2quilt]

I get as far away from triggers as I can, but that's my normal reaction. I don't know if that's the healthy thing to do or not. Great question!

[Cindy]

Talk it over with your therapist, but my gut is to figure out what it is about the trigger that flips you out. Is it the words, was it playing at the time of your past situation,

Look for a way to modify the trigger in your mind to take control over it if possible. Sometimes this is not possible and exiting is the least disruptive if possible. Once triggered it does take time to get it back together as you know but I've been out of it for a whole day so I know it is important to figure out your question. But I think you need to evaluate the specific trigger each time.

One of my total freak out triggers is the dentist, I can't avoid it in my life, so I have to modify the situation - klonipin.

[She Cat]

I would think that it would depend on the trigger, and what the effect is, but in the long run, running from them doesn't help at all. It just prolongs everything. Face them and walk through them is the only way to do this IMO!!!!! Same thing with anxiety and panic. Whatever triggers it, face it in small amounts till you can last it out.. Feels like hell, but it won't kill you.

[sallyb98178]

Lucky Laser,
Yeah, sometimes I don't know I'm going into a situation that is going to trigger me and "BLAM" I am so angry from something I could spit. Especially at work, sometimes other people will say something that appears quite innocuous and there I am, over-reacting. Throws me into an anxiety or panic attack and then comes the self-loathing. I really like this job and would hate to have to leave it.

[Monarch]

triggers suck and I stay away from them, or redirect if I feel like I am getting "over the edge" angry. My husband was getting on my nerves tonight and triggering me so I told him I needed some space and came downstairs to write. It wasn't him it was the questions he was asking and the things he was doing. Not normally a trigger but it was tonight. So saying, " can you please turn that song off, I don't like it". Isn't a big deal. Our brains respond to music, it is very important and sometimes can effect our moods, feelings, emotions.

[TLight]

My triggers are bully type men and unemployed men in my space.

I have to remove myself from the situation ASAP. Once I recognize I have a boss that is going to trigger me, I have to quit, no if ands or buts. I've suffered enough.

Men.........well, enough said. Never again do I 'support' a man to follow his dreams. Usually he sits around for a couple of years pondering writing a book or something while I start raging, feeling like I"m being annihilated..........then I'm blamed for being crazy. So I've learned the hard way, 15 years of screw-ups that damaged my brain even more.

I say, I don't have to subject myself to my triggers anymore. I can get accurate feedback from my T if my feelings are accurate or not........then I can get the f*ck away.

[Lucky Laser]

Sometimes I feel like the triggers are almost impossible to get away from without looking crazy... for me a lot of it revolves around anything pornographic or things that involve nudity.

It is SO embarrassing and makes me feel so low to have to actually screen movies and other media for myself because of a little nudity. Especially if it involves images of under aged children being made to look sexual or media where people make light of young looking girls being sexy.

One time in one of my worst moments I just up and smashed an innocent DVD box set of my husband's because I saw it on the shelf unexpectedly (even though I KNEW it was there before) and it reminded me of something else... oh boy did that create a fight. Thankfully, now he understands and thankfully its pretty rare that I go that far.

I have a list I made for him, a scale that goes from 0-100 and along the spectrum I put about 10-15 triggers and when things stop bothering me I take them off and if something new comes up I add it on. We've just started doing this but so far its been helpful because we realized that some things I put high on the list he didn't know would bother me and some things I put lower he thought were worse. He is beginning to really understand how my silly brain makes the weird jumps from triggers to the thing that happened to me.

[Cowgirl]

Since you are in medical school, you know more than most of us about desensitization therapies. A good friend had a traumatic experience years ago, and she ended up hiding in her house for several years to avoid triggers. It got to a point where she could not work, she could not even go out. She could not be around the public. She was frozen in her house, in fear.

At any rate, the therapy she went through was a desensitization therapy which exposed her in small, controlled ways to her triggers. It worked for her. She is living an active life, she has an active social life, and she able to work in her profession. It reduced her stresses dramatically.

So, I cannot go around saying everyone should try this therapy, but it helped her.

Cowgirl

[Lucky Laser]

Cowgirl, actually I probably know WAY less than everyone here. I'm just third year (first two years is mostly classroom work and second two years is clerkships) so I may know a lot about common diseases and their causes but am just now learning therapies. I feel pretty useless still when it comes to real life stuff. :p

That's great that the desensitization therapy worked so well for your friend. My therapist has mentioned it but we're still in the beginning stages of therapy. I'll do some reading on it.

[anthony]

My question is this: is it better for me to try and face the trigger? For example to keep listening to a song (after the immediate anger episode goes away of course) in an attempt to get used to it (and run the 50% chance it will trigger me again and again)? Or is it better to just avoid it completely for a really long time?
It is better that you keep at it and try and work through the issue. The key to working through any trigger though is to identify why it triggers you in the first place, as its not the song or issue at hand that is actually the problem, its the underlying emotion likely stemmed to some trauma or traumatic thought stored in your brain. Identify and attack the cause, as the trigger is just that.... a trigger to something deeper, of which really has little to do with the problem at hand and is just a sign something deeper is wrong.

You do not avoid triggers, you face them head on and work through them to find the cause. You deal with the cause and then you continue exposure to the trigger until such time as it is no longer a trigger for you. Very rarely will a trigger be so significant that I would say to avoid it. Only in rare circumstances is that applicable, usually with suppressed memories where you simply cannot identify the cause until your mind is ready. Even then, you store it, avoid for the time being, then deal with the cause when your brain is ready to. You must face all fears if you want to restore any semblance of normality to your life with PTSD.

[pandora]

I agree if you avoid it..it will just keep coming back in inward and outward ways....it always finds ways!!!! You cannot run from PTSD...I tried......hard, for 20 years....you HAVE to face your fears.

[Anonymoose]

I find it helpful to escape triggers whenever possible. I recently gave away some items - a suitcase, articles of clothing, and so on - that triggered me and I've noticed a marked improvement in the presence and intensity of my symptoms, especially flooding. I'm glad that I did that and will continue to do so whenever possible.

[Claire]

You can keep on avoiding things for as long as you like but that way you wont get any better. It depends what you want from life. I had a problem going on trains. At first I avoided them, then I started taking very short trips. eg one stop, gradually progressing to longer journeys. Now I can use the train. I COULD have kept avoiding them but if I had I'd still have a problem with them.

If you avoid tackling these things you will continue to get embarrassed and feel crazy in situations that you can not control. Start slow, build it up gradually and it will bet better. It wont be pleasant but it WILL get better. You just have to want to change things.