When Did You Realise Denial Could No Longer Help You?

[neverforget]

I have a question for sufferers.

I wonder about what event made you realise you couldn't live in denial anymore and that you were ready for therapy, that you really needed it to move in with your life.

Thanks.

[Cindy]

When my stomach was always upset, the migraines were frequent, the nightmares continuous I realized I needed to unravel the cause.

When the daily disruptions outway the pain you have to take the jump somehow. A lot of the problem is NOT KNOWING HOW TO TAKE THE JUMP.

Where do you start. If you are not in therapy already - where do you find a therapist? How do you know who to choose?

I lucked out in that department but since I have added to my therapy with Art Therapy. I looked on the Internet under the National Professional Organizations and read the credentials of people with in driving range and contacted them from the closest out.

If you are looking for a psychologist, I would look for one who is affiliated with a professional organization then look at what they list for specialities in
therapy. If they list everything - you have to wonder? But if they list a few specific areas and include PTSD then I would call, have a session and "interview" them as to their style and treatment plan regarding the PTSD.

[sunnydaze]

neverforget
I sought help when I was out of control and couldn't stand myself anymore. I usually have waited till, I felt, I'm on the brink of snapping. I went about 2 years recently of not seeing my T thinking I didn't need anymore help that I was in control even going off my meds. Well, I wasn't in control, I cried for months, walked around in a daze for months, argued beyond what I should have with people. I couldn't function anymore. I would think about making an appointment than maybe have a good day than I would fool myself into thinking I'm in control again. I finally gave in and made the calls necessary. I was afraid of my thoughts and thinking of how I didn't care about myself or much of nothing. I had to remind myself that my grandson would miss me terribly and my dog. My husband would but men always seem to find a replacement sooner than a woman does. I scared myself this last time. I blamed my dissociativeness and PTSD on pain. Pain is not the formost on my mind any longerand I realize it was my mental problems not the pain of alot of the things I thought of and did. I felt different than most other people but now I now why. This forum has helped me identify with some of my actions.
sunnydaze

[Seeking_Nirvana]

The constant nightmares and bizarre dreams that kept me from sleeping.

[Nam]

When? When I arrived at the fork in the road: go one way meant to die, go another was to live. I didn't feel like I had a choice. I had a family to take care of and I had to live. Which meant I had to get better. Being in denial is stagnant and I wanted to move closer to healing.

[She Cat]

When a shrink asked me if life was working for me. I answered NO, and he said to get with the program......That was after dealing with this for most of my life. I am a slow learner when in denial, but quick when I am not.

[spiritofnow]

When absolutley everything that I attempted, relationships, jobs, running away-moving house-country, being fit, alcohol, etc etc made me feel no better. When I realised that everytime I tried to live in the world I eventually fell to pieces. When the people that I care about, my son and my ex (that did not survive), were struggling to be happy with me and I with them.

When I had the smallest belief that I deserved more than a wasted life!

The day I went into my doctor and told him how I felt and cried uncontrolably.

Spirit x

[linasmom]

When I could see that my actions were hurting other people and I didn't have the skills to change those actions. When the world turned into static.

[Claire]

The constant nightmares and flashbacks forced me. I couldn't stand it anymore, I came to the conclusion it was either suicide or help. Luckily I chose help and I'm getting so much better now. I hated the way I actually saw suicide as a solution. The actual moment I got the ball rolling was when a friend of mine bullied me into telling him what was bothering me. That was just the start though, as I know now.

[pandora]

When I could not physically drive the car, my body shook uncontrollably...completely fell apart...now it is the damage on the inside that worries me....was having fashbacks and nightmare of things I stuffed for years...I guess my spirit broke...now I just have to find it again.

[Auburngirl]

I guess I've hit this point twice. Once I met a man I really wanted to pursue a relationship and my body was betraying me - I would both physically and mentally flip out at the suggestion of intimacy, shake and be unable to speak or move, and be affected for days afterwards. I had no idea what was wrong with me, but I knew something was quite wrong.
The second time, I hit a point where I thought - I know I've improved, but I'm not better yet, and I deserve to feel better than this.

[NotDepressed]

Even after therapy, I'm still somewhat in denial. Anyone else?

[WorkingThruIt]

When I read that it frequently affects the parenting ability of the sufferer. I knew that I should be a better mother and realized then that there was something I could do to improve myself and my mothering.
I was also growing tired of waiting for it to just 'go away'. I still wonder why I didn't rethink my plan for almost 20 years.

[Murphy's Law]

I think I am lucky. I was "forced" into therapy by work. My PTSD comes from a work incident, and they eventually said that they would only continue to pay me if I went to therapy. I lucked out in the therapist department too. He is as hard headed and stubborn as me
Having said that, I still find denial a great way to cope some days. The only way some days.

[Grama-Herc]

My realization can when I could no longer lie my way through life. I had backed myself into a gigantic corner with my employer and had no way out.

I had jumped from job to job just before the truth would come out. I got fired from a few because I failed to see the end coming. But I mostly would push to the limit and then move on before I got fired.

It is hard, however; when you work for your doctor. Your failure to show up for work tends to cause bells to go off in his head. I finally pushed my luck with calling in sick and found myself in a corner with no place to go.

That was the day I quit lieing and was put into a hospital for help!

[Cindy]

I too felt my spirit break. I've lost something I can't put me finger on. But that I think is not part of denial but part of the disorder and it's consequences.

Denial continued until the physical symptoms smothered me and were uncontrollable.

[neverforget]

Thanks to all for your answers.

[2tired2deal]

It's usually when we can't 'function'. For me it's ongoing. To answer NotDepressed, I do go back and forth between denial and acceptance. I mean, who wants to admit to something that seems to have more power over you than you do?? That's my source for denial. But also, as others have said, it's a fork in the road moment; initially for me, it was knowing something was terribly wrong and deal with it or die.
Now it's knowing my quality of life is seriously skewed. It could be better, and I want it to be better, but again, sometimes I feel like a puppet, and someone else has control of my emotional strings. I want that control back. It is a struggle. So we fight, maybe for the first time, especially if we couldn't fight against the original trauma.