Are You Alone?

[Tessan25]

i have lost all my friends and really need new ones
have u lost a friend?

[Cecilia]

Friends come and go; one friend left because she thought that my going to therapy was selfish. In her opinion I was spending all this time with a therapist talking about myself and I should have spent that time with my child.

Some people do not have a clue about different ways people need to care for themselves. Others may need therapy themselves but are too afraid to go. Seeing you take steps to care for yourself can be pretty intimidating or threatening for them.

Of course there are other friends that I have raged and blown up on and kind of scared them away and they don't want to be in that position again.

Thankfully my true friends have stayed with me. Your true friends most likely will too. They may take a break, but eventually they will return. Fortunately people are resiliant and so are you. If old friends do not return, you are a valuable person and new friends will be drawn to you if you let them in.

Most of my friends do not live near me, so we email or talk on the phone. I am sure you will find some friends on this board who can relate to you and have honest discussions. Keep posting and you will never be alone and that will give you courage to talk to people in real life.

The hardest lesson for me to learn was that I am loveable. When I am feeling alone, my dear older friend always says "flash that beautiful smile; that is what draws others to you."

Hope something in this helps.

[cherryblossom]

Hi Tessan

I'm sorry that you are feeling so alone.

I understand what you are going through. I have lost friends due to my PTSD. One reason is that I push people away, which is probably due to not wanting to be hurt. Also, sometimes, when I have tried to open up to someone, they have occaisionally run away. This makes it harder to open up in the future.

As Cecilia says - true friends will stick around, and those that don't aren't worth knowing.

I'm sure you'll find plenty of people here who understand all that you are going through. I hope new friends come to you in time. You sometimes just have to take that chance to let someone in to your life.

Good luck

[nic]

As others have stated, feeling alone is pretty common with PTSD. Sometimes you can have many friends but still feel isolated and alone.

I tend to have different types of friends. Some are friends due to a common interest or activity we participate in. Others are friends due to similar experiences we have shared. Other are simply friends because we've known each other for so long, even if we don't share as much anymore.

There are many different ways to meet and make new friends. Check out local meet-ups; (there's a website, but I don't know what it is). This a great way to meet others who are also looking to meet new people and start friendships. Also, try taking a class, perhaps through a local adult education center. Not only is it a good way to help fight off the blues by getting out and doing something fun, but it also can be another outlet to meet others.

Good luck, and take care.

Nic

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Tessan the best advice I can give here is to be your own friend. Because I have lost some friends in the worst time of need, which made me realize that I can only depend on myself.

I'm not saying don't have any friends. But what I'm trying to convey here is be your own best friend and others will follow, but if they don't you still have yourself to count on.

Peace
Tammy

[estrella_del_mar]

tessan, i have no friends too. i have had only one friend in my life, for two years, and she flyed away when a surgeon distroyed my knee.
i have learned to not close myself between the walls of my house, i attend a course of martial arts and a course of carribean dances. i always have someone to go out with, to tell something with, to laught a little bit with.
i am not happy, i feel alone because i have no one near my heart. but at least i survive and i enjoy myself too!
keep strong! good luck!

[Grama-Herc]

While looking through the various threads I found this and realized that others have friend issues too.

My question is--do you guys find that you tend to chase friends away if they get too close? I seem to let people get just so close. If they seem to be getting to close, I will do what I can to get them out of my life and away from me.

Consequently, at this stage I too have no friends. Got my cats LOL They don't care if I am a little strange! They love me anyway

[Tessan25]

Thank you all for all your kind words even if its online its a warm feeling i get when i read all your responses

[estrella_del_mar]

when you need i am here ;)

[weldergirl]

I'm hard on friends too. I'm sure my PTSD is the cause of it too. Hardly seems fair does it? People like us need friends the most. I have one or two friends who have stuck by me through everything. It makes all the difference.

[Tessan25]

i feel angry at the world that always let me down when i needed them the most
everything is falling apart for me

[Tessan25]

whats happening to me?
anyone knows?

[Tessan25]

is this normal to go from extramly happy to extreamly angry like in one sec?

[estrella_del_mar]

cielito,
it's important, no, it's very important that you find a way to be "in the world" the more you can. it's also for this reason that i told you to attend some course: building something inside you while you are between people, even if they don't know about your suffering and about what appened to you, helps you to have more "sense of the reality". more, it's important that you create some relations, even if they are not relations of real friendship.
sense of reality is the most important thing in mental health, don't forget it.
and your mind need human contact, too.
don't desperate and look for joy...:kiss:
kisses

[Tessan25]

I cant hepl felling that im left out and forgotten
i dont have any friends at all left
and i have to have a person with me all the time am outside becaouse of my
attacks i have and i cant controll them at all
and the police arent werry understanding here at all and always think that im drunk or druged
so i have someone with me all the time when i leave the house
this is so humilyating that i have to have someone by my side
and it makes me feel less like a person
im tired and scared

[Anonymoose]

I have friends but I still feel as though I'm alone.

[whitewillow312]

Yeah the dreaded 'ALONE' feeling, I've been feeling it a lot lately too. I never was one to have many friends, even before my trauma. Now I have none, I have some family that are close to me and my hubby, but I still feel alone and misunderstood. :dontknow: Hang in there and take care of you.

[Grama-Herc]

Tessan

I am unable to leave my house most of the time so I understand your frustration with
needing to have someone with you when you go out. I also understand the fear.
The feeling of no control over your life is a frightening thing too

Alone, an awful feeling---I know it well----I found that I had caused my own isolation
I am still alone with no friends, but now, with therapy, I understand why. It does not hurt so much when you know why!

I remember when I was at my lowest level. It caused me to seek help and discover
the cause of my feelings.

Just the fact of knowing "What" was wrong, actually made me less anxious. I was able to put a name on what was wrong with me. That in itself was a healing.

While you have no asked for it, I am going to give you my opinion. Seek help. Talk to a professional. They can help and do! Once I opened up to my T> amazing things began to happen to me and my thinking and my life.

I am still a sufferer but knowledge is power and just knowing what my problem is has helped me.

[Tessan25]

hi Grama-herc

Thank you for the answer!
i have contact with the psyk ward in my town
But the nowlige of the ptsd isent wery good here i sweden
like non accuelly
That why i m writing here

[estrella_del_mar]

here i am giving you a web address where you can find informations, telefone numbers, e-mails of good therapists in sweden.
www.emdr.se/
emdr is an innovative therapy i am doing too.
but, above all, these therapists are the only ones, in europe, who have studied ptsd and have esperience in it.
i have been looking for them for 12 years. now one of these therapists is helping me and i feel better.
keep strong and let me know, ok?

[harrywgtn]

Hi
I have pushed just about all my friends away. I have a couple that have stuck with me. They left me alone when i needed it and there when i need them and i hope im a good friend to them as well.
Im bringing so many memorys out with my T at the moment and nobody understands what im feeling and that makes me feel very lonely

[Marine0311]

friends.... I have my Marine Brothers I served with and they are all scattered across the world. Sometimes we talk on the phone and maybe a short visit, but other than that. No friends for me.

I have a Wife and 6 children, no time for friends really.

Having PTSD and Major Depression with a house of chaos I'm lucky not to be totally insane..

For me I think its a trust issue and having someone who can relate to what I have been through. Regular people tend not to understand.

[estrella_del_mar]

how are you, thessan, cielito mìo?

[cypher]

wow! This thread hits too close to home. I think everyone's pretty much covered my thoughts about this. Right now I'm still trying to understand my thoughts, emotions, etc.... but I have been pushing people away from the beggining leaving only myself to, well, myself. Never really had much of a friend in the first place, always kept to myself. But now it's like total isolation, except when I go to work. I've become especially less talkative.

[Tessan25]

Yes i know the feeling that this thred has began to cover
But i know so little about my ptsd that i struggle to survive..
maby you have some of the answers for me.
can you really contoll this feelings of loss of conrtoll when you body takes over and you are all switched of?
Do anyone know what kind of medication that is the best for just ptsd
in sweden they dont know anything..
I cant get them to understand me at all
it feels like they dont belive me and i have got the answer"we cant do anything for you" is like banging the head into the wall
many thanx to all the respose