Respect of Differences

[Nicolette]

I would like to point out that the forum has different sections, Chat PTSD, PTSD Only, Chat Carers, Carers Only and so on. There is a purpose for this... so that the different areas are kept topical and relevant. It also allows for alike people to group as well as join in General conversation.

While I sometimes drift into Chat PTSD to try and gain a better understand the views of PTSD sufferers, I tend not to get too involved as I am only visiting and it is the sufferers' area. Conversely, the same would apply for Anthony in that he would come into the Carer's section and perhaps add a comment or two on general discussions but his focus would be to "put the shoe on the other foot" and be able to read how Carers interpret their situations and that of the PTSD Sufferers they care for.

My purpose for highlighting this is that sometimes some of us get involved in discussions which are from a totally 'opposite' point of view which leads to misunderstandings, arguments and attack. When I am in the Chat PSTD section I need to remind myself I am generally talking to people with PTSD and their take on life and situations may be different to mine due to their experiences. This does not mean they are right and I am wrong or the other way around, nor does it mean I can't contribute, but it does mean I should respect who I am talking to. Once again this applies the other way around.

It is disheartening to see that these boundaries have been a little forgotten of late resulting in the eruption of heated discussions which should really never have occurred in the first instance.

Please remember that in order to communicate effectively we need to respect others. We all have a responsibility to ensure our contributions to this forum are for the benefit of the community.

[Lucky Laser]

So its not just me... was worried I smell or something... :p

In response to Nicolette, I wanted to mention that I drifted into the Carers section to try and gain a better understanding of what my husband has to go through. I've pointed him to a few threads there, and I think we got a lot out of it. I agree about not getting too involved there though... I want to educate myself, not argue differences. :)

[upstream]

I've spent time over there too, but it's because I have been both a sufferer and a carer in my life. I never thought of it as crossing over a boundry.

[linasmom]

I've requested access to the PTSD Private room as well, but still have not heard anything.

Best,
Rachel

[2quilt]

Well, I can tell you that in the Private section, it's very serious talk about our most painful and private traumas. Moderated members are not allowed because they have not yet shown Anthony that they are here because they have a ligitimate trauma or really are a carer, rather than just some fool spammer or someone looking for information to write a research paper. I have not seen any "how was your weekend?" stuff, or jokes or other light smalltalk in the Private area because that stuff can be said in the General section.

It takes more than just not being moderated anymore to get access to the Private section. If it were just that single limitation, then it would be as open as the rest of the entire website.

I don't personally know Anthony's criteria for access, but I can say that it took a while before I was allowed in. I don't know if he bases it on the amount of time a member is here, the frequency of posts, the quality of posts, whether or not you have a bad attitude, or what.

What I can tell you is that I respect the privacy of those who post in the Private section because it's about stuff that should not be read by everyone. Think of it as the difference between speaking to a crowd on a stage to thousands of people about your most painful and private memories, versus telling them quietly to a close friend whom you have known longer and trust not to reveal your secrets. Can you understand?

It is not meant to be an elitist, special society with a secret handshake. Think of it more like this: you have had close friends with whom you share secrets and private information, and you also have friends you shoot the shit with. They are all friends, but you feel closer to some than others.

I sincerely hope that you do not feel insulted. I am certain that Anthony's just observing all of us, and seeing how we interact, and he does not want to make the mistake of allowing someone to join the Private section before they...and we...are ready.

What do you think?

[morgan]

I know this is a little late as I had a bit of a break for a few days but, I wanted to comment as I myself have gotten very angry at a carer in the PTSD section for a comment she made. I'm sure she had no intention of offending me but, I have PTSD and can be rather sensitive at times. So I totally agree that we should be respectful of each others space.

When I go to the carers section it is to get a better idea of what my parents go through with me so we can have better communication and overall interaction. I appreciate all the input from carers cause my parents won't even bother to check this forum out.

[Nicolette]

Just bringing this back up to the front page as a reminder.

[linasmom]

Thanks for bringing this important thread back up, Nicolette.

Best,
Rachel

[Mick]

I read the carers sometimes as well my wife is very important to me and I can find out a little more about how this effects her. Which in turn helps me to think about and control thing I do that might bother her.