New Here - Raped in my Own House

[whitewillow312]

Hello,

About four years ago I was raped, by someone I knew, in my own house. I pushed and he is now in prison serving time. I did go to some therapy at first about four or five sessions, but then did not like dealing with it so I stopped. Been on meds since. I thought I was doing fine but things have just been taking it's toll. The almost constantly being "on guard" has me utterly exhausted. I have flashbacks, panic attacks, nightmares, I cant function in public at all because I'm always on guard. Lately I've even noticed I'm getting exremely forgetful and catching myself zoning out. I've started seeing counsel again, abut 4 sessions so far, and a visit to med management, they diagnosed me with PTSD, they changed my meds, gave me something for sleep (so thankful to be sleeping whole nights now, even if it's a medicated sleep). It seems somedays that counseling is making me worse but then other days are better. It's really hard and I'm so tired.

[Cindy]

You have taken the first step on a difficult journey.

I share your experience and understand your frustrations. Many frustrations you have described is the consequence of PTSD. Eventually it will smooth out and not be so disruptive but it takes time, counselling, and patience.

The most important aspect is taking care of yourself and needs one moment at a time regardless of the use of medications or others beliefs. You and your therapist design the best fit program for you! Give yourself down time and warm fuzzies (tea, walk, hot bath, naps... etc) and Celebrate each accomplishment no matter how small.

The forum is here to listen and understand your frustrations. It is a tool for you - use it carefully and purposely to ease your journey. We have all walked your road and are on your road at different points.

Never forget to take care of you! You are your best resource!

[sunnydaze]

whitewillow312
I totally agree with Cindy,
At least you are going in the right direction getting help weather through meds, conselling ect. I wish you well.
sunnydaze

[Tachyon]

whitewhillow, I'm here for practically the same thing. I was assaulted in my home about a year ago. It seems to me that anything that goes wrong today causes me to remember what was going on last year. I'm doing extremely well outwardly, but I'm dealing with a high level of anxiety all of the time.

[goingonhope]

Hello whitewillow, and Welcome to the forurm!


Hope

[upstream]

It seems somedays that counseling is making me worse but then other days are better. It's really hard and I'm so tired.

I think it's supposed to feel this way if it's being done right.

Welcome to the forum!

[Murphy's Law]

Hi and welcome. You are right, hard and tiring discribe it well for my struggles. But here's to the good days!

[lacey]

I agree with everyone above. I'd like to add that there's a book and a workbook my therapist recomended and it has a workbook also "The courage to heal" by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis. I'm currently alternating both and they've been very helpful...
Wish you all the best!!:thumbs-up