Vent - The Nurse at my Dr's Office is Playing Games

[Seeking_Nirvana]

*Vent*

I posted this a couple of months ago about how my doctor's nurse wont get my medication refilled for me on time, and I was seeing red and ready to go off on her.

She did it again (4th time). I called on Tuesday to inform her my medication was to be ready today/Friday and she claimed she never got the message.

She told me to quit calling and expecting to get my medication the same day I call for it. The other two times this happened it was because my doctor called in sick and he was suppose to get it for me that day. Not my fault he called in sick.

I told her I gave her 4 days notice and she told me I didn't call on Tuesday, and to quit lying. I was seeing red again. She said she would get my medication when she got around to it, and to quit calling because they were busy.

I called back and left a message and told her that I will get an itemized bill from my phone company and will bring it in there and prove to her that her phone number will be on my phone bill from Tuesday's date.

So when I get home there is a message on my phone to come get my medication. She is playing these games with me because she doesn't like anyone trying to make her do her job. She knows I called on Tuesday. She didn't think I would stick up to her and bring in proof.

She is on my last nerve and I'm about ready to find another doctor. I told my doc that if she did that to me again I would find another doctor and he said not to do that, and he said he was going to tell his supervisor about her conduct.

Well, it didn't do any good. I did get my medication but only because I threatened to tell on her with proof.

[linasmom]

Hi Tammy :hello:

How frustrating! Did she actually accuse you of "lying"? That's just totally unacceptable! What is her problem? It sounds like she is the type of person who abuses her role of someone who has some control over other people.

I can see how this could really stress you out because who wants to switch doctors - form a new relationship, have all transcripts carried over? I would talk to your doctor again about this situation and stress to him that this is really causing you grief, grief that no patient of his should have to endure at the hands of his nurse.

Maybe, at this point, you need to type a formal letter of complaint and send it directly to the supervisors.

Good luck with this and I hope you feel better!

Best,
Rachel

[spiritofnow]

You did good!

She does not seem to be caryying out her duties as she should, and then tries to make this your issue. Standing up to her and not losing your cool was good and constructive!

Is there a system in place whereby you can report this conduct yourself? Yeah the letter route as linasmom had pointed out would be a good way to go.

I don't think you should allow her incompetence to make you find another doctor - it is that behaviour that allows her behaviour to go undetected.

Spirit x

[2quilt]

I would write a letter just like you wrote here, and address it to your doctor, or at his home address, and write confidential on the front of the envelope, and write another identical letter to the admin director of that facility.
The resolution you ask for? A written apology from Nurse Nasty, and that your formal complaint letter be put in her permanent file. If you can address it to your doc's home addy, that would make sure that Nurse Nasty did not intercept it.

That witch is lucky that she didn't pull that crap on 2quilt. She would have already been in the morgue and me in jail.

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Yes, she told me to "quit lying" I was so mad at her accusing me of lying. I think she is doing this because I told on her the last time she did it. She was going to tell the doctors that I didn't call and leave a message, but I was able to get a message across to her that I would bring proof in that I did call the office on Tuesday.

2quilt, I can't get into a fight with her because she is black and from the hood. Sorry about the stereo type, but I will get my but kicked. She has an attitude as big as she is, which is almost 6 feet tall and 200 pounds. NOT!

I think it is a good idea to write a letter to the administrator of the clinic about her. I got the feeling my complaint a couple of months ago about her was not the first time anyone has complained.

The last time it happened I told my doctor not to tell on her, but he said he was going to anyway because she needs to learn. I told him it would only cause me more trouble and he said it wouldn't. Well, here we are again and it makes me feel uncomfortable going to my sessions.

I decided that I will mail in a letter giving her 5 business days to get a signature from the doc, leave a message on her phone line, and tell the receptionist that I left a message on her phone line from now on so she cant say I'm lying. It is ridiculous to have to do these things but hopefully it will get resolved.

She is using her authority to mess with me. I have other things to deal with than this head game playing. She really needs to grow up.

Thanks for the advice and listening to me growl LOL
Tammy

[cactus_jack]

Tammy, quit threatening her. Just do it. I don't know what state you're in, so I cannot tell you if it's legal to record phone conversations or in-person conversations without the other person's consent. In Colorado it is so long as one of the parties present is aware of it being recorded (thus the slang term "single-party state"). If your state IS a single -party state, record her behavior. Compile everything, then make several sets of copies of it. Keep the original and present a formal letter of protest to the state licensing authority with one set of copies. Make sure they know you have the originals, and don't tell them, even if they ask, where the other copies are.

Sometimes you gotta out your foot down.

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hi cactus, I haven't threatened her. I told my doctor what she did the last time she did it. I have an appointment with him today and will tell him what she did last week.

I decided (1) mail the request in through USPS (2) call and leave a message on her voice mail and (3) talk to the receptionist and tell her that I left a message on the nurses voice mail requesting the medication.

I believe those 3 things should get the issue resolved. She can't deny getting my messages if there is one in writing, and the receptionist has been informed too. I won't record the the message because I don't have access to do that on my phone.

Thanks for the input
Tammy

[spiritofnow]

I would love to know how yo get on :-)

Spirit x

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hi spirit, I went to my T session today and I didn't see her. I said a prayer for her on the way there. I prayed that the burden of her job and the stress be released from her so she doesn't feel the need to be so angry.

I said a prayer for myself that I can handle any confrontation in a positive manner.

Is that what you were asking about?

Tammy

[cactus_jack]

Actually Tammy, it's relatively easy to record. But if you don't want to, I'll respect that.

I'll have you in my prayers.

[spiritofnow]

Yes Tammy,

That was a wonderful thing that you did for both of you. You have much compassion!

Spirit x

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hi Cactus, I do have a mini tape recorder. How do you record messages? I think I might do that if my phone has the ability.

I won't use it against her unless she continues to call me a liar. She could have said, "I think you made a mistake or you forgot and just 'think' you called" But calling me a liar really makes me mad.

Yes, please explain it to me if you would.
However, I'm going to continue to pray about it because that would be the best way, but it doesn't always work.


Thanks
Tammy

[insomniakat]

I think taping her is going too far because it will come off as though you are taking this too personally and have it in for her. I would do the following:

The next time you need your meds, I'd follow whatever procedure your office has in place. If you have to call ahead, make you follow that procedure to the letter. Right after that, call your doctor or leave him a vm (whatever works) and notify him that you have just called this nurse for your refill. You should get your meds with no fuss that way.

If you don't, you have the doc in your corner that you called. You clearly aren't lying. Talk to her direct supervisor and inform her that she has a history of doing this to you. Tell her you are sure that if she is doing it to you, she's doing it to others. Tell her it is a "CARE ISSUE," as in she is impeding your health care. If it continues you will be forced to lodge a more formal complaint and consider taking your business elsewhere.

Remember, she's a nurse. Nurses are in short supply in this country. I doubt they are going to fire her for being a bitch, even though they should. But if they are impeding your care, they damn sure have to take notice.

[Desert Rat]

Slow down pal,... It is easy to get upset with the system,.. I know ALL too well... But,.. Remember, you have the upper hand, and can "Fire" any health care taker/giver you want... SLOW DOWN,..

Rat

[cactus_jack]

Hi Cactus, I do have a mini tape recorder. How do you record messages? I think I might do that if my phone has the ability.

I won't use it against her unless she continues to call me a liar. She could have said, "I think you made a mistake or you forgot and just 'think' you called" But calling me a liar really makes me mad.

Yes, please explain it to me if you would.
However, I'm going to continue to pray about it because that would be the best way, but it doesn't always work.


Thanks
Tammy

Ok, first what is your state;s position on this? If it's legal, go for it. If it's not, it could be a simple misdemeanor, or as in Oregon it's a felony.

Second, is your phone set up for a headset? If so it'll have a 2.5 or 3.5 mm female jack where you plug it in. Find the size of the female jack. Find the size of the microphone jack on the recorder. ANY recorder that can do external mics will work. If the jack port is the same size as the male jack for a walkman headset, it's 3.5 mm. Cell phones use 2.5 mm. Generally speaking speaker phones are ideal.

Now, go to Radio Shack. Buy a cord with double male pigtails. This allows you to go from the headset plug to the mic jack on the recorder. When recording have the volume turned up high. Experiment though, sometimes the local phone company has something in their system that when you record on their lines it'll give feedback ruining the recording and alerting the other party.

Also get adapters. A 2.5 mm to 3.5 mm, and a 3.5 mm to 2.5 mm. Total cost is maybe $12-15.

With cell phones it's more complicated. The gear is a lot more expensive.

I suggest that whenever you are recording without someone's consent, use digital. Non-digital recorders emit a small electro-magnetic pulse, and can be detected. Digital recorders don't have this.

How do I know this?



I used to be a reporter some years back.... :think:

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Thanks Cactus. I will have to print this out and go check to see if I have these jacks. If so I will buy the equipment.

Even if it's illegal I'm not taking her to court, so it would just provide proof to the doctor and her supervisor of how she treats me.

inso, I am going to follow procedures (and followed them this past time) and have set up extra measures. However, if I have to speak to her about something I don't appreciate her calling me a liar and that needs to be dealt with if she does it again.

Desert, I can't fire my doctor because my insurance is crap and I only have one other clinic I can go to. I had already been to that clinic and the doc wanted to give me electric shock treatment for my constant suicide thoughts, and I wouldn't do it so he told me we had come to an impasse.

Thank God I didn't have electric shock treatment and switched doctors because I no longer have thoughts of suicide.

Thanks for the input everyone
Tammy

[cactus_jack]

Tammy, you do need to know the laws. Court is one concern, but they can also file criminal charges against you if they are applicable. I'll hunt up a list of the states and their legal status.
c

[cactus_jack]

Ok, I did a quickie and found this-

Is consent of all parties required?
In California, Connecticut, Florida, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, and Washington state, YES.

Federal law/federal lands, NO. Consent of all parties is not required in these states- Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Delaware, D.C., Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming.

In all cases I urge caution. The laws could have changed since I was a reporter last (2001).

[cellardoor]

It's so frustrating when you're telling the truth and people accuse you of lying. I hate that. Good for you for standing up for yourself. I hope things get better for you!

[upstream]

Is it admissable in court if you do not have consent?

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Wouldn't it be hard for them to prove that I tape recorded a conversation unless I actually gave them the tape? If they didn't have the tape it would be hearsay (my word against theirs).

I had no idea you could get in trouble for tape recording a conversation. I knew you couldn't use it in court if the other party did not agree to it or didn't know about it.

I am in one of the states that doesn't allow it so I probably won't do it unless she continues to play games. My doctor wants to start taking care of all my medication so if I see him once a month he can take care of it unless he calls in sick.

Thanks Cactus
Tammy

[cactus_jack]

Upstream- Only if it's legal. If you are in a "single party state" and you have a recording, maybe. But YOU have to be part of it or have the device on someone that not only knows of the recording device but also consents to the conversation being recorded.

If you are in California, Connecticut, Florida, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, or Washington state, ALL parties involved must be aware of the recording and they may refuse consent at any time. This gets tricky. I know of a case where a disabled man was being hassled by neighbors and management in Sacramento (IIRC). When they started the harassment he told them "so long as you are aware this may be recorded". They laughed it off and beat the crap out of him. But they did not harm the device used. Which in that case was his cell phone. He dialed his cell phone number from his cell phone and left it on. When they did their thing, it was left on his voice mail. When he got done cleaning up he then called his cell phone from his landline and recorded it as I instructed you.

Cops got the tape and practically ignored the recording laws as he DID tell them it may be recorded. During the trial that was brought up but the guy was honest- he never did it before. He had no idea IF it would work or not. If so, they were warned. If it didn't, no harm no foul. I recall they each got at least 5 maybe 6 years prison because they did it specifically because of his disabilities. Epileptic and bi-polar, IIRC. Apartment complex soon changed hands, and the cops had more respect for him after that. In previous incidents they disregarded his complaints because of his impairments/disabilities.

BUT- you must make sure you know the current laws regarding that in your state.


Tammy, all they have to do is complain to the authorities. The cops look into it, and if they find you did, you could be in trouble.

[Nicolette]

I'm in Australia, but as I understand it, you need to advise a person you will be recording the conversation. I don't think you need to get permission, they just have to be made aware at the onset which gives them the option not to continue.

I also thought recorded conversations were not submissable evidence without the consent of parties however I was not aware you could get in trouble for taping. I guess there would be breeches of confidentiality which would be more the issue than the act of taping itself. :think:

Someone please correct me if I am wrong.