Dylan
29-04-2008, 05:27 AM
Hello everyone. :hello:
I was dx'd with PTSD several years ago. I underwent several months of EMDR which, while serving to help with memories and somewhat with
numbness & dissociation, did little (in the long run) for the basic symptoms that seem to be my default way of living (always somewhat disengaged/removed from things, consistently anxious, etc) and the escalation of symptoms under stress.
From December until March I was in....I guess "meltdown". The counselor I am seeing finally persuaded me to try medication to stop the spin-out which, by that time, was so driven by survival that nothing I tried was working. The medication (Zoloft & Wellbutrin) has helped immeasurably.
I have to say that I've lost a lot of confidence in my ability to handle things, my ability to heal, even just confidence in myself -- my own strength and self-reliance. I've been tooling along for a couple of years working on a method that works well for me, and then SLAM.
Reading posts here, it seems that the idea of completely healing from PTSD may be dependent on many factors. But I'm curious: do you ever get to the point where you can just live? Just enjoy life without all the preoccupation and wariness of what & when symptoms will occur to pull the rug out from under, having to watch what all you take on because stress can trip the trigger and send you zooming up to defcon 1?
I feel as though I'm this high-maintenance, "I'm so fragile" person and I hate it. I don't want to stay on the medication (I consented to 3-6 months). I seem to be unable to do all the things I see other people do - when I try to "dive in" to life and live, I end up falling apart.
I'm going to get the recommended book...great title, because I keep asking myself, "Why, after all this time, can't I get over it already"! But any other suggestions would be much appreciated.
I've tried looking for a support group here in my town, so I'm grateful to have found this forum. It seems to be very positive and focused on healing.
Thanks,
Dylan
I was dx'd with PTSD several years ago. I underwent several months of EMDR which, while serving to help with memories and somewhat with
numbness & dissociation, did little (in the long run) for the basic symptoms that seem to be my default way of living (always somewhat disengaged/removed from things, consistently anxious, etc) and the escalation of symptoms under stress.
From December until March I was in....I guess "meltdown". The counselor I am seeing finally persuaded me to try medication to stop the spin-out which, by that time, was so driven by survival that nothing I tried was working. The medication (Zoloft & Wellbutrin) has helped immeasurably.
I have to say that I've lost a lot of confidence in my ability to handle things, my ability to heal, even just confidence in myself -- my own strength and self-reliance. I've been tooling along for a couple of years working on a method that works well for me, and then SLAM.
Reading posts here, it seems that the idea of completely healing from PTSD may be dependent on many factors. But I'm curious: do you ever get to the point where you can just live? Just enjoy life without all the preoccupation and wariness of what & when symptoms will occur to pull the rug out from under, having to watch what all you take on because stress can trip the trigger and send you zooming up to defcon 1?
I feel as though I'm this high-maintenance, "I'm so fragile" person and I hate it. I don't want to stay on the medication (I consented to 3-6 months). I seem to be unable to do all the things I see other people do - when I try to "dive in" to life and live, I end up falling apart.
I'm going to get the recommended book...great title, because I keep asking myself, "Why, after all this time, can't I get over it already"! But any other suggestions would be much appreciated.
I've tried looking for a support group here in my town, so I'm grateful to have found this forum. It seems to be very positive and focused on healing.
Thanks,
Dylan