wolfalohalani
02-05-2008, 11:06 AM
Hi guys -
The meditation center I sit in is involved in a dispute with a former member who insists we return his donations. I spoke with him on the phone, because I was concerned for him - his letter seemed a little out there.
I was at a group sit last week, and one of the people shared that she had been the victim of t*rture, which she described rather graphically. I told her some of the things I do with flashbacks, which she thanked me for, and I felt pretty good going home.
When I got home I checked my email, and something had come in from the guy, and it was very irate, belittling in a way, and really suspicious. Since then my fear level has gotten really out of control, and I've been extraordinarily anxious. Yesterday when I woke up, I suddenly realized - the guy's name is Paul, which was my Dad's name. My Dad was my abuser.
So, this is on top of the being kind of awake during surgery, and money problems, and launching a new business, and thinking I had MS or might be paralyzed, and my Mom dying, and, you know, it's just been a little much, and my amygdala has gotten itself jammed in the on position again.
I've got a call into the psychiatrist, and seeing the therapist every week. What else can I be doing to help rein in this galloping anxiety?
Thanks,
wolfalohalani
The meditation center I sit in is involved in a dispute with a former member who insists we return his donations. I spoke with him on the phone, because I was concerned for him - his letter seemed a little out there.
I was at a group sit last week, and one of the people shared that she had been the victim of t*rture, which she described rather graphically. I told her some of the things I do with flashbacks, which she thanked me for, and I felt pretty good going home.
When I got home I checked my email, and something had come in from the guy, and it was very irate, belittling in a way, and really suspicious. Since then my fear level has gotten really out of control, and I've been extraordinarily anxious. Yesterday when I woke up, I suddenly realized - the guy's name is Paul, which was my Dad's name. My Dad was my abuser.
So, this is on top of the being kind of awake during surgery, and money problems, and launching a new business, and thinking I had MS or might be paralyzed, and my Mom dying, and, you know, it's just been a little much, and my amygdala has gotten itself jammed in the on position again.
I've got a call into the psychiatrist, and seeing the therapist every week. What else can I be doing to help rein in this galloping anxiety?
Thanks,
wolfalohalani