Marlene
06-05-2008, 09:50 AM
Among the many life lessons that I've learned with my PTSD, one of the last (and to me one of the most important ones) I've learned is to give myself time.
I have always been a very organized, scheduled person. Both in my business and private life. While it is applauded and rewarded in a business setting, in my home life it's been a source of a lot of irritation and complaint. Not from me…from the people who live with me.
When my PTSD decided to rear its ugly head everything in my life came to a screeching halt. I sought help and learned that I could, indeed, recover from this and have my life back. And I did this in the best way I knew how. I scheduled my recovery. I figured if I could keep myself on a tight enough timetable that I could get all of the crap done with (in a timely manner, of course) and be back to my life.
Unfortunately…or maybe fortunately…life had other plans for me. And schedules weren't a part of it. I've had to learn, mostly the hard way, that my recovery is something that doesn't have a timetable. At least not one that I've made. 'It is what it is, and for as long as it takes' has become a real mantra for me. Learning that healing is something that takes its own time has been a real eye-opener for me.
I wrote to a friend that I had begun to allow myself the 'luxury of time' in which to heal instead of trying to force it. What a relief it is to not have a schedule to keep! Even if it was my own. If it takes a week…so be it. If it takes a year…so be it. If it takes the rest of my life, well, then that's what it takes. Getting out of my own way, I've learned, has been the only way that I can heal.
I still have that neurotic, perfectionist who lives and dies by a schedule inside of me. I tried to get rid of her, but found she was a part of me. So I let her come out and play at work. There she's appreciated. But away from work I'm learning to be a more relaxed, less driven person…much to the delight of my family. And surprise, suprise-to the delight of me, too.
Lisa
I have always been a very organized, scheduled person. Both in my business and private life. While it is applauded and rewarded in a business setting, in my home life it's been a source of a lot of irritation and complaint. Not from me…from the people who live with me.
When my PTSD decided to rear its ugly head everything in my life came to a screeching halt. I sought help and learned that I could, indeed, recover from this and have my life back. And I did this in the best way I knew how. I scheduled my recovery. I figured if I could keep myself on a tight enough timetable that I could get all of the crap done with (in a timely manner, of course) and be back to my life.
Unfortunately…or maybe fortunately…life had other plans for me. And schedules weren't a part of it. I've had to learn, mostly the hard way, that my recovery is something that doesn't have a timetable. At least not one that I've made. 'It is what it is, and for as long as it takes' has become a real mantra for me. Learning that healing is something that takes its own time has been a real eye-opener for me.
I wrote to a friend that I had begun to allow myself the 'luxury of time' in which to heal instead of trying to force it. What a relief it is to not have a schedule to keep! Even if it was my own. If it takes a week…so be it. If it takes a year…so be it. If it takes the rest of my life, well, then that's what it takes. Getting out of my own way, I've learned, has been the only way that I can heal.
I still have that neurotic, perfectionist who lives and dies by a schedule inside of me. I tried to get rid of her, but found she was a part of me. So I let her come out and play at work. There she's appreciated. But away from work I'm learning to be a more relaxed, less driven person…much to the delight of my family. And surprise, suprise-to the delight of me, too.
Lisa