Mens rules for us
Posted 10-04-2008 at 05:50 AM by 2quilt
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
can find the perfect present once again.
4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
5. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
6. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as navel lint, computers, and carburetors.
7. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
8. Shopping is not sport.
9. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
10. You have enough clothes.
11. You have too many shoes.
12. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like
it.
13. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
14. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will mark anniversaries
on a calendar.
15. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point
blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
16. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes -- what makes you think
we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look
good with your dress?
17. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers.
18. A headache that lasts for 17 days is a problem. See a doctor.
19. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
20. Films starring Barbara Streisand are for Girls Night Out.
21. Check your oil.
22. Don't give us rules.
23. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
24. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
together.
25. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
All comments become null and void after 7 days.
26. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.
27. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
28. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how
pretty you are?
29. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
30. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it
done -- not both.
31. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
32. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
33. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to
complain about having their boobs stared at.
34. Consider hiking a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you
do.
-----
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
can find the perfect present once again.
4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
5. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
6. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as navel lint, computers, and carburetors.
7. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
8. Shopping is not sport.
9. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
10. You have enough clothes.
11. You have too many shoes.
12. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like
it.
13. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
14. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will mark anniversaries
on a calendar.
15. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point
blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
16. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes -- what makes you think
we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look
good with your dress?
17. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers.
18. A headache that lasts for 17 days is a problem. See a doctor.
19. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
20. Films starring Barbara Streisand are for Girls Night Out.
21. Check your oil.
22. Don't give us rules.
23. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
24. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
together.
25. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
All comments become null and void after 7 days.
26. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.
27. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
28. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how
pretty you are?
29. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
30. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it
done -- not both.
31. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
32. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
33. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to
complain about having their boobs stared at.
34. Consider hiking a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you
do.
-----
Total Comments 2
Comments
 |  LOL, check your oil... once I was doing that in front of my apartment and a man approached me and said something like "You're a WOMAN. And you are checking your oil?!?!" Okay, Captain Obvious. :p I take issue with number one, about thinking you're fat, because most of my friends think they are fat and are NOT. Even my really tiny friends! |
Posted 10-04-2008 at 07:01 AM by Lucky Laser  |
| |  Well, number one is just a typical male really saying that he does not want to argue with his gal-pal about her perfect body image, which would lower the probability that he gets laid tonight. If I don't ask a man if he likes how these jeans fit my butt, he doesn't have to think about how his answer is going to effect the goal of the date. Luckily my husband likes my shape. |
| Posted 10-04-2008 at 09:31 AM by 2quilt |
Recent Blog Entries by 2quilt
- Kostas Cats photos (16-09-2008)
- Kostas Restaurant Adventure, Rhodes, Greece (16-09-2008)
- Husband's Bear story (13-09-2008)
- 2quilt's peach raspberry cobbler (07-09-2008)
- My cats (04-09-2008)
