Definitions

Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just
after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets
into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that
stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near
future.

Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders
the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.


Faunacated (adj.) How wildlife ends up when its
environment is destroyed. Hence faunacatering (v.), which
has made a meal of many species.

Foreploy (n.) Any misrepresentation or outright lie about
yourself that leads to sex.

Grantartica (n.) The cold, isolated place where art companies
dwell without funding.

Hemaglobe (n.) The bloody state of the world.

Intaxication (n.) Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which
lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Kinstirpation (n.) A painful inability to move relatives who
come to visit.

Lullabuoy (n.) An idea that keeps floating into your head and
prevents you from drifting off to sleep.


Reignition: The silly act of trying to restart a car whose engine is already running.

Audioptics: Turning the car radio down when looking for an address in an unknown neighborhood.

Pedalthermic: The ability to adjust the hot water tap with your toes in the bath.

Faecalish grin: The distortion of the face after stepping on hot dog poo while barefoot.




Just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.