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How to Tick People Off

Posted 23-06-2008 at 07:16 AM by 2quilt
  1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
  2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
  3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO.
  4. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
  6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
  7. Practice making fax and modem noises.
  8. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
  9. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
  10. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
  11. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  12. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  13. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
  14. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
  15. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
  16. Honk and wave to strangers.
  17. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
  18. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
  19. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
  20. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
  21. Ask people what gender they are.
  22. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  23. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  24. Sing along at the opera.
  25. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
  26. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

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hodge's Avatar
Ahahahahaha ROTFL!!!! These are toooo funny! I think they could also be titled: How to Make People Think You're a Total Loon!

Thanks for making me laugh out loud, 2quilt!
Posted 25-06-2008 at 01:33 AM by hodge hodge is offline
Old
Moonshadow's Avatar
I laughed so hard, I cried. I needed that!
Thanks, 2quilt!
Posted 16-07-2008 at 02:47 AM by Moonshadow Moonshadow is offline
 
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