Who Am I? The Reigning Question Prevails

My name is Anthony Parsons, 35 years of age and I am the owner of PTSD Forum. My girlfriends name is Nicolette. The posted image off us both is from a recent night event we embarked. I live in Melbourne, Australia. I have three sons, one teenager to my first wife and two little one's to my second wife, Kerrie-Ann. My two little one's live with their mother over 1000 kilometres away, and my eldest is here in Melbourne.

I am an electrician by trade, I have educated and experience within advanced industrial electronics, technician and microprocessor control. This was before joining the Australian Army, which I served for 10 years. Whilst in the military I also developed myself into the world of marketing, primarily online, or as some will know as an Search Engine Optimisation specialist. I developed into a leading expert on this topic as my skills and education grew. I then educated myself into the general niche of marketing, as online proved a strategic place only when tailored within offline marketing.

Due to my military career I was fortunate to deploy many times to multiple countries for various operations. I have deployed for humanitarian reasons, peace keeping and a declared war zone. I say fortunate because the life experience I gained from these deployments was invaluable. Yes, this is why I have PTSD, from what I have done and seen upon operations with the military. If I wasn't ill with PTSD I would have still been in the Army. Absolutely loved the job, loved the atmosphere, was happy to remain within it until I retired. Obviously that route just wasn't meant for me though!

When I look back at my operations, I can actually pick the moment when my life really changed. It was February 2000, two months after I came home from the declared war zone, East Timor. My drinking was pretty much out of control after all operations, as my behaviour, though this one I flipped out pretty hard. I got home and within two days was on a plane to my next posting location as an instructor. I drunk my way through it, I did my job well as always, though my attitude was certainly changing and being noted.

I kicked my wife out a month into being within the new location, I drunk myself stupid for six months after that, though still attending work daily. I did things definitely against military law during that time and against ethics of being within an instructional position. My boss new it, though protected me because he knew it was not my typical behaviour. Neither of us knew why, but he protected me none the less.

Nearing the end of 2000 I got my life back together, started thinking about where I was and what I overcame to get off the alcohol and begin looking forward to life. Well, when I say I got off the alcohol, that was more like I simply stopped drinking a full bottle per day of spirits, instead only a couple a week maybe. I requested to be moved back to Townsville the end of that year as that is where my ex-wife had returned with my son. I wanted to see him, so that is where I ended.

I remained single for near two years, girlfriend here and there, sex out of control, pretty much just drank, worked and partied. I was at a point where I just didn't know what was up anymore and thought that the type of woman I wanted was the wrong type, so I met the opposite type to me, Kerrie-Ann. This is simply the truth how I now feel it to be. I thought everything was just wrong because my relationships failed, so I must be wrong and require the opposite in order to succeed within a relationship. How wrong I was.

I was discharged in the military end 2004 after being home from pretty much a year already on full pay from them. I was not allowed to work due to the severity of my symptoms at that stage and pending medical discharge.

Whilst in Townsville I attended a PTSD course in 2005. That course put me on the road to this forum. It was what I learnt about myself at that stage that had me thinking, "if others in the world feel what I feel with PTSD, then this type of learning can help them too." And that was how the forum was born. The therapists and specialists who ran that course tried to talk me out of this forum, as they said it was not beneficial for sufferers. At the end of the day, I am a sufferer which means I have more an idea than they do of what is and is not good for what I felt. If I felt it, then others would, and so I proceeded.

End 2005 we moved to Melbourne as Kerrie had a posting here. I needed to leave Townsville, and one way or another I was. This just helped the process along. So here I am in Melbourne and the relationship issues only worstened. Kerrie ended up leaving for her mothers in Dec 06 with the kids, to only return to collect her goods. We seperated sometime in January 07 officially.

After this event I swore I was off women forever. I just didn't believe the person existed who was right for me, so I had succumb to simply going through life single and enjoying that lifestyle. Well, once again I was wrong. My son played cricket with the next door neighbours son, and at the end of February 07 we happened to meet one anther. All else was just history after that point in my life. I had successfully accomplished this forums foothold within the world to help PTSD and my life had finally taken a turn in the most positive direction of my life.

To sumate my current relationship; Nicolette is like the best bits of all my dating and relationship experience in life to date. Seriously it is just uncanny how much we like the same things, approach life the same way, talk about issues and just want peace within a relationship, not control, dominance, betrayal and the rest of the issues.

That is pretty much me in a nutshell to where I am in life today.

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