Fighters Not Quitters

Geneva, what exactly is your issue? You where pulled up because you made a one line statement that was directed towards another member individually. What part of that don't you get? Read what Claire wrote above and tell me exactly where she singled out any one member and attacked them! I am waiting for your point of being pissed... because there isn't one. Whatever is going on in your life right now is not a right for you or anyone to come on this forum and make any one line statements that attack another member as an individual.

At no point did Claire attack or direct any intent towards an individual, in fact she chose her words very carefully from what I can see and vented her own personal frustration and feelings of what she feels currently, however; at no point did she attack any individual or collective group. She was simply making a statement based on her feelings that was not in any way a personal attack to any individual specifically.

The moment you respond to a thread and isolate the thread starter or a person responding to a thread and write what you did in your last line, is the same moment you singled out a person of that thread and attacked them. You took a generalized vent to a personal level. Can you not see the problem with that?

Not sure if I am allowed to post in here Geneva? Sorry if it's unwelcome in your blog.

As the thread is now closed, I can't comment on the actual thread. Whilst you may not have agreed with her opinion, and you have a right to that... it is only opinions. Not personal attacks. If you disagreed with it, and were hurt by it, there was nothing wrong in you voicing that back. But the way you ended your post sounded spiteful. If you felt she was wrong in what she said and that she intentionally hurt you (which I don't believe she did), then how do you justify attempting to hurt her back with a spiteful comment? Would it not have been better to try to explain to her why you felt she was wrong in what she was saying and to try to get her to understand your point?

For me, when I read it, I see Claire making comments about a particular type of venting, where she felt some expect a magic wand. In that respect, she is talking sense... the forum isn't a magic wand, nothing is. Sometimes a kick up the butt for people to realise that is just as important as having a good vent and trying to express feelings. She refers to 'your trauma isn't as bad as mine' responses which don't actually help anyone. I think we can all agree that. If you haven't done that, then you have no need to be offended. What she is calling for, is more constructive support when that kind of thing happens. She calls for people to think about the positives, as well as the negatives. She ALSO says that she isn't saying that it's wrong to voice and express negative feelings (as PTSD certainly gives those to us in our struggles). What she is actually saying is that for those who are getting competitive over trauma, pain and suffering, to quit it and actually do something to help themselves. That doesn't apply to every single post that has any negativity in it. It is impossible to not talk about the negativity of PTSD...but to me it sounded like she was trying to voice her opinion that sometimes balancing those negatives with appreciating the positive things can be good. And that sometimes talking about how bad it is all the time isn't always a good thing. When someone raised the issue of Christmas being a difficult time, she then appreciated that she hadn't considered this also. I don't see any of that as unreasonable, attacking, or hurtful... just plain and simple someone saying how they see it, and how they feel about it.

I'm not having a go at you, I'm just trying to offer a different perspective....

Lisa.

Well said Lisa. Private messages exists for a reason, so that if you cannot contain yourself on the forum you can use the PM system to go get further information or pass to another member your grudge against a post they made. DO NOT however do it upon the board is the point.

Geneva, I want to congratulate you on your forum post though; you looked back and acknowledged you where simply having a bad week. We all have them, and in those times we do and say things that may or may not necessarily be what we feel or know is correct. I know I have done some seriously shit things, said shit things to people, and damn it hurt me to learn when to acknowledge I was wrong and then apologize. It gave me a huge wakeup call to my own self integrity to who I am today. The thing is, is that when I have people tell me I am wrong, I stop now and listen, because typically when enough people say the same thing I know something is wrong with me.

Well done and proud of your efforts.

Thank you alot Anthony, I am just now reading this...hmm for some reason I didn't get the little e-mail thingy that tells me I have a comment on my blog here. Oh well, I am indeed over it...and while I still don't agree with what was said I am very ok with knowing my out burst could have been said far better than it was. Perhaps not even like a out burst at all? lol...Anyways...Hope all is well for you;)

Geneva