How to Love your Children

becvan · #1 29-10-2006, 06:55 AM

Many of us with PTSD struggle with how to love our children. Here are some important reminders of how to show our love:

Love

Find the positves in our kids when they act poorly and point these qualities out first
Hug them before we ask them about their homework
Set limits without anger, lectures, or threats
Hold them accountable for their poor decisions by providing empathy first and consequences second

Logic

When we us this type of loving behaviours this is the logic we teach them:

When I make poor decisions, it makes my life pretty sad. I wonder how my next decision will affect my life?

What a wonderful way to teach our children a better way of thinking!!!

Bec

veiled · #2 29-10-2006, 12:43 PM

My doctor's favorite saying in how to be with our children. Simply be kind but firm. I don't know how much we struggle to love them, I see no struggle in the pure love for a child. The struggle can be patience with PTSD I believe.

becvan · #3 22-11-2006, 01:02 AM

Many of us don't know how to love a child. Love is taught, not automatic. Know matter how good our intentions may be towards the children we love, it does not mean we are actually doing so in a healthy way. There is no shame in struggling to love our children, only shame in not loving them. Any and all questions on how to love them should be asked. I posted this thread as a start to open this subject up elsewhere... there is struggle to act in a manner one was never taught.

Bec