Kerri Ann...I can relate..we moved while my husbands mother was in the middle of dying and he was starting a new job ...and working nights....On the day of the move he kind of flipped out and the moving men said "lady, I don't know how you handle this" Sympathy from the moving men..Sometime you laugh because you're tired of crying...

I think you guys are right about giving the "space" thing. It is hard for me as I am impatient too and about to go through a "divorce" according to my husband, but I am backing off and he does not like this either. He just keeps saying that I do miss him, but he does not miss me. Oh well, whatever. He told me today that I am probably the best thing that has ever happened to him and he is just too "stupid" to understand it. What is it with this understanding thing? I mean I understood when I took my vows that I loved my husband and yes, there would be trying times, but you work on them, you don't tuck tail and run and be a coward and that you stick it out together, but he says he would have been dean in 2 years if we had stayed together. I don't know how he knows this, but I forgot, oh yes, his famous saying that "I know everything and if I don't know it, it ain't worth knowing anyway". This is the kind of crap he has always told me and now thinks he can just walk away after 17 years of marriage and say "I am so sorry that I ruined the last 17 years of your life. I thought I loved you, but subconsciously did not and now I am so sorry about this". What kind of crap is that? It just ain't that easy.

thanks for letting me vent and I hope you guys have a better day than me today. I just wish for a day when I can get up and not worry about this mess that I am in right now. I want to be happy and laugh again, really laugh, not just put on a laugh in front of him to look happy to hide the pain that I am going through....

dazed :crybaby:

Dazed,
I know how you feel about being impatient and about missing the good times....... for a long while i couldnt even remember how to laugh or even smile... times will get very hard... but hang in there.... there is nothing more that we can do but give space... and it seems that your husband contradicts himself alot...one day he loves you and the next he tells you he has wasted his/your time in life.... dont take anything he says right now to the heart... he is not well (obviosuly) give him the time and space so he can get better, but remember that he can only do this (has nothing to do with you) so whether it takes one day or one year he will have to figure this out himself...he cant run forever, he will realize that he needs you.

About "giving him space"-- If I tell him "I'm going to watch tv in the bedroom to give you some space," he says "Thank you." But if I just go in there & watch tv for the SAME REASON, he gets all upset & chews me out, criticizes me for "spending too much time watching tv in there & isolating myself..." Like I want to watch Nascar & other "guy" tv shows! Ughhh!! Even when I'm giving him what he wants I'm doing the wrong thing! Help!!!